Overprotective
by overactive imagination
Summary: This is the story of Meredith Lowe who boards Titanic with her aunt, and meets friends, enemies, and someone she hasn't seen in years. Can they help her survive? Rewrite of a fic I wrote 3 years ago. But I changed it almost entirely. Please read. -Kell.
1. Chapter I

**I wrote a story in 2006-07 and now that I look back on it, it was horrible. So now I've decided to redo it. Also, I'm changing the story almost entirely. I tend to deal with depression and stress a lot, and just writing anything actually helps get my mind off certain things. It's quite helpful to me, even if it isn't very good. So please, read and review. I'll take good or bad criticism and use it to better the story. Thanks.**

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_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter I**_

The clock over the mantle ticked loudly, as I sat in an overstuff chair in the corner.

"She should come with me to New York . There I can create a suitable match for her. Of course, she'll need a bit of teaching to become a proper young woman." I could hear my Aunt Gwen's voice saying from the next room.

"I'm not sure if I want her so far from us." My mother stated worriedly.

Then my father joined in, "Harriet, dear, she's twenty-one years old! She should already be married and doing something with her life."

"I guess you're right…"

"Good, it's settled then. Meredith will come with me to my home in New York and I'll look after her until a suitor can be lined up for her."

From that moment on, I, Meredith Wynne Lowe knew that my life was going to change.

That had been mid-march. In early April, Aunt Gwen and I boarded a train and traveled to England , where we went shopping in London , because of my lack of 'fancy' clothing. I came from a middle-class family, as had my aunt. But she had married a wealthy railroad owner who died some years ago and she inherited his money. In London she had bought me enough beautiful dresses to last me until we got to New York .

From London we went to Southampton , where we would be embarking from.

When I left my home in Wales , I felt very sad and homesick, and also afraid of things to come. I'd never been so far from my mother and father. Plus, I was worried they'd feel lonely since my three oldest brothers, George, Arthur, and Edgar, were all grown and moved out of the house with their own families. My youngest older brother, Harold, had left home fifteen years earlier to pursue a career at sea. I haven't seen him since. I was my parents' little baby, and now I too was leaving home.

I had been born on September 15th, 1890 in Eglwys Rhos, Conwy, Wales. As a child, I was quiet around most people, except for my brothers. I was a bit of a tomboy, always playing in the dirt and running around. My brothers used to trick me into doing their chores, and that was only because they were all at least eight years older than I was and I respected them all a great deal.

The morning of April 10th, 1912 , Aunt Gwen and I closed our trunks and got dressed for the maiden voyage of the RMS Titanic. I wore an emerald green jacket over a white shirt with a matching long green skirt. I also had a green hat perched atop my head and white gloves covering my small hands. My dark brown hair was pinned up, although one curl escaped so I just tucked it behind my ear. My aunt's maid, Iris, caked powder all over my face, making me look paler than I ever had. She had also tied me into a corset earlier. Those things are absolutely dreadful, although it did make me look slimmer.

"Ready to go, Miss Meredith?" Iris asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Yes, I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I smiled politely and followed her out of my hotel room. There was Aunt Gwen in a blue dress with a high lace neck. The color of the dress matched her eye color, the same color as mine.

I really wasn't anything spectacular. I was pretty, but I wasn't drop dead gorgeous. I was just average.

We left the hotel and got into a car that took us to the dock.

The door was opened by the driver, and he put out his hand to help me down, but I had already jumped out. This earned me a disapproving frown from Aunt Gwen.

I stared around me, seeing people of different classes and race. The steerage passengers were farther away, being inspected.

The first class was permitted to board without inspection, under the assumption that being wealthy spared you from carrying harmful diseases.

Then I looked up at the giant leviathan. There was the RMS Titanic, looking large, luxurious, and brand new. I had never been on a ship before, so to see this incredible technological feat was one of the most amazing wonders I'd ever seen in my life.

Aunt Gwen and I walked up the gangplank, being greeted at the door by a man with a list. "Gwendolyn Quinley, and Meredith Lowe" she told the man who then checked us off and uttered a greeting as we passed by.

I was starting to become confused as I attempted to keep track of which hallways led to our rooms up on B deck. The ship's corridors reminded me somewhat of a maze.

Soon we located the rooms. I was awestruck by the grandeur and opulence of the design. One could certainly tell they had put a lot of effort into the creation of the first class accommodations.

My room was located next to Aunt Gwen's. She had considered me to be mature enough to have my own room separate from hers, and for this privacy I was grateful.

"Meredith," Aunt Gwen walked into my room and found me putting a few things away, "Is your room alright?"

"Yes, ma'am, it is wonderful." I answered politely.

"Good." She turned to leave.

"Aunt Gwen?" I made her turn around, "May I go up on deck to watch the ship leave? I've never been on a ship before and I'd love to wave to all the people. It seems fun."

"Well, I suppose it'd be alright. Just be back in time for tea."

"Thank you." I waited for her to leave, and then I headed up to the boat deck.

I found a small section of railing that wasn't crowded with passengers waving frantically. I looked out at the mass of well-wishers on the pier. I, having nobody to wave to, just smiled at the people below. I saw a group of young school boys, who were likely local children who wanted to see the Titanic sail.

Suddenly, I felt as though the people were moving from us, although in reality it was the Titanic moving from them. We had set sail. Next stop, Cherbourg , and then after that, Queenstown, and then within a few days we'd be in New York .

I decided to take a leisurely walk down the deck before heading back to my room. The sun warmed my face, and the breeze made the one strand of hair come untucked from behind my ear.

Up ahead of me I saw three men in uniforms, all talk and laughing. They seemed to be having a good conversation.

I stopped walking as soon as I saw the face of one of them. He looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place him.

A sailor walked by so I tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me, but I was wondering if you know the three men over there."

"That'd be the fourth officer, fifth officer, and sixth officer, miss."

"I mean I'd like to know their names."

"Oh, I'm sorry. There's Joseph Boxhall, Harold Lowe, and Jim Moody."

I froze. "Harold Lowe, you said?"

"Yes. The fifth officer. That tall fellow right over there. The one in the middle." He pointed him out.

I stared at the officer. That was my brother. I was sure of it.

I stormed over towards the three men, and once I reached them, well… I slapped my brother.

"Oi! What the hell was that for?!" Harold yelled while rubbing his cheek.

"Figure it out!" I yelled back.

"I have no idea who you are, miss! What's your problem?"

The sixth officer joined in, "An old lady friend of yours, Harry?" he joked. "If she wasn't so pretty I would advise you to call the master at arms."

I rolled my eyes. "Think of somebody you haven't seen in 15 years."

"I didn't know many young girls fifteen years ago. I was still in Wales then, so…." Then he stopped as realization struck him. "Please don't tell me we share the same last name…."

I nodded while staring angrily at him.

"And please don't tell me you're my sister…"

I nodded again.

"Meredith… I…."

I cocked an eyebrow and waited to hear what would likely be an idiotic explanation.

"I'm sensing some tension." The fourth officer said to the sixth.

"Well when a boy abandons his family and leaves his baby sister behind, and that sister doesn't hear a word from him for fifteen years, there's bound to be a bit of tension."

Harold placed his hand on my back and led me over to the side of the deck. "Listen, I think you and I need to sit down and have a calm discussion about this whole thing."

"Why? You left us all for your own selfish reasons. You didn't return, like you promised me you would. You also promised we'd go fishing. That never happened. So many promises, and none of them kept."

"I'm sorry… I got a bit busy…"

"Even taking perhaps ten minutes to write a letter would have showed me that you cared. I would have known you hadn't forgotten about me."

"I didn't forget about you. I've been busy. Changing the subject for a moment, why are you here?"

"That's none of your business. I mean, we are practically strangers, after all." I crossed my arms.

"I just want to know what you're doing so far from home, where you're headed, and if any of the other family members are with you."

"Perhaps you'd know if you kept in touch." I turned around and walked away.

"Meredith! Wait!"

"Good day, Mr. Lowe!" I snapped, not turning around. I kept on walking, grateful that he didn't follow me.

I found the first class entrance and was attempting to locate my room again.

There was a young man up ahead. He seemed to be confused as he walked slowly, staring closely at each door's number. I walked passed him, and was surprised to feel a soft tap on my shoulder. I turned abruptly.

"Excuse me, Miss. I didn't mean to startle you. I was just hoping to ask if you knew where I could find B-92."

His light brown hair fell over his eyes and he brushed it back as he waited for an answer.

"I think that room is right next to mine. Follow me." I walked down the hallway next to him in silence. I didn't even know who he was. "What's your name?" I asked after a moment.

"Spencer Welch." He held his hand towards me, and I shook it politely. "And yourself?"

"Meredith Lowe."

"And what's your story, Merry?"

I normally didn't permit people I'd just met to call me by a moniker, but I decided not to argue it. "My story?"

"I mean where are you from, where are you going, who you're with. Stuff like that."

"I'm from Wales , and I'm going to New York with my aunt."

"I've always wanted to visit Wales . It seems like a lovely country."

"It is very lovely." I answered, feeling a slight pang of homesickness.

"Well, I don't know if you care, but I'm from New Hampshire . I'm heading home with my parents and my brother. We've been on holiday in England , visiting my mother's relatives."

He wasn't entirely right. I did care. He was a very engaging and friendly young man. "I have some relatives in England too, but I haven't visited them in a long time."

"I like seeing my family. Although I can only tolerate them for so long, it is nice to get together with them every once in a while. Sometimes after not seeing someone for years you don't mind how irritating they are."

"That isn't true, at least in my case. I just saw my brother for the first time in fifteen years. It was far from a pleasant reunion."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Its alright." we had just arrived at our rooms. "This should be your room, Mr. Welch." I gestured to a door labeled B-92 in brass lettering.

"Please, call me Spencer. Thank you so much, Merry."

"You're welcome." I saw him enter his room and shut the door, and then I put the key in my own and opened the door.

I saw a young man rush by and go into the same room Spencer had just entered.

Then I walked into my own stateroom, and proceeded to take a nap.

That night we docked in Cherbourg , France . I was supposed to meet my aunt in her stateroom in a half hour to go to the dining saloon on D deck.

There a knock on the door, and when I answered it, I found a young blonde stewardess standing in the hall.

"Good evening, miss. Might I come in? I've been sent here to assist you in preparing for dinner."

"Right. Come in." I stood aside so she could enter.

She led me into my own bedroom and shut the door. "Sit." she ushered me to my dressing table and quickly began to apply powder to my cheek.

Then when she was working with my eyes, I decided to strike up a conversation. "Lovely weather we've been having so far." I was such an idiot, but it was all I could come up with at the moment.

"Yes, miss. Very fair weather, I'd say." She didn't stop even for a moment.

There was silence. The stewardess applied lipstick to my dull-colored lips. I felt like a doll.

"What is your name?" I asked curiously.

She stopped and stared at me as if she'd never been asked that question before. Perhaps she hadn't…

"I shouldn't be socializing with the passengers, miss. I'm only here to do my duty, not to speak to those above me."

"Trust me. I am not above you at all. I do not come from a wealthy family. It's only because of my aunt that I am here. I wouldn't report you for speaking to me. I'm trying to be friendly."

"I appreciate your effort, but it isn't right."

"My name is Meredith Lowe." I smiled and held out my out to her, hoping she would follow suit.

After hesitating for a good ten seconds, she took my hand loosely and shook it. "I am Emma Winfield, miss. " She answered in a soft voice that was nearly a whisper.

"See, Emma, was that so hard to do?"

"I suppose not." She was now just finishing brushing my hair and was about to pin it up.

"Where are you from?"

"I'm from Liverpool ."

"That's nice. I'm from Wales . I'm immigrating. Leaving my family is a bit difficult though."

"I'm working here so I can make money to support my five other siblings. My other sister is home right now to look after them, and my sick mother."

"I'm sorry to hear that. What is your mother sick with?"

"We're not sure. All we know is that it's unlikely she'll make it."

"Well, I hope by some miracle she'll be alright. Nobody should have to go through that. How old are you?"

"I'm 19."

"Oh dear. That's way too young to be raising five siblings. I really wish I could do something." I now felt so awful for this girl.

"It's fine. Nothing can be done anyway. Your hair is all done, miss. Stand up and we'll find a dress for you."

I was quiet, unsure of what I could possibly say. Emma tightened my corset and then threw a mauve dress over my head.

A few last adjustments and I was ready. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and I saw what didn't look like me. I did look beautiful, by the world's standards, but I wasn't me. I looked too pale and too skinny. Back home if I looked this way my mother would assume I was ill. I had cleavage for once. Back home my father would likely throw a shawl over me and scream at me to change immediately. This was something very new to me, but it was a life I'd have to get used to.

I followed Emma out the door of my stateroom and I locked it behind me. She retreated down the hall, and I saw my aunt locking her door as well. "Oh, Meredith, I was just about to come get you."

We walked to the staircase and went down two decks until we reached the entrance to the dining hall. There were so many people there all in elaborate gowns with beads and lace and bright colors. Also men looking smart in their sharp tuxedos and slicked back hair.

"Meredith, I'm going to go speak to a few acquaintances of mine. Would you like to join me?"

I didn't really wish to mingle with a bunch of strange wealthy people. I didn't feel like I belonged with them, so I politely declined, explaining I just wanted to go find a place to sit before all the good tables with taken.

Then I saw a slightly familiar face walking towards me. "Merry!" it was Spencer.

"Hello, Mr. Welch." I greeted.

Another man who bore a close resemblance to Spencer came up beside him.

"I told you to call me Spencer." I nodded in acknowledgement. He presented the boy beside him, "This is my younger brother, Adam."

The boy held out his hand and I shook it gently. Then he didn't let go, raised my hand to his lips, and kissed it. I found this a bit odd.

"Pleasure to meet your acquaintance, mademoiselle." He said in a mock-snob voice.

Spencer pushed him playfully and I couldn't help but laugh at the display of brotherly horseplay.

"Boys!" I heard a deep voice behind me scold, "Act like gentlemen." I turned and saw a red-faced man who was a bit pudgy and had a graying mustache that matched whatever hair was left atop his head.

"Yes, father." Spencer and Adam answered in unison, and the man disappeared to go over to a tall and thin woman. They looked like such an odd pair, but I suppose there must be some sort of attraction there, unless it was just for money or convenience. I wouldn't ask Spencer or Adam because really, I didn't care that much.

"Might we escort a pretty young lady like yourself to a table?" Adam asked, attempting to sound charming. He really only sounded obnoxious to me.

"Sure." Why not? I didn't know anybody else.

"Now where to find one…" Spencer asked as he looked around the room, pretending to scan for pretty young girls.

I sighed. These two men (if they could even be called that) were absolutely ridiculous.

Spencer took my left arm and Adam took my right, and we walked around looking for a table to sit at that wasn't too crowded, or had too many old or snobby people. That task was more difficult than I imagined.

Finally we came across a table towards the back that was empty except for one woman who looked like she was about my age.

"Mind if we sit here?" I asked.

"No. Of course not. Go right ahead."

We took the three seats to her right. I sat next to her, and Spencer sat on my other side, and then there was Adam.

"I'm Meredith Lowe." I said to her, trying to be polite.

"I'm Clarissa Buller-Hewitt." She looked over at the two 'gentlemen'. "And who are you?"

"I'm Spencer Welch and this is my brother, Adam Welch."

We all looked to Adam, who was staring at Clarissa in such a daze.

"Is he alright?" she asked.

Spencer pushed his brother slightly and he finally returned to his senses. "What's going on."

"Nothing. Nothing at all." I replied, as we all giggled at him.

It was clear he was a bit taken by Clarissa. She had honey blonde hair and eyes as green as the sea, and high cheek bones. She was pretty even in my opinion. One might even say she had a glow radiating off of her, like a sunset.

We were the only people at the table, and we actually had a great time, sitting around and laughing over the dumbest stories. I hadn't laughed so hard in months.

After dinner ended, Clarissa went to return to her stateroom, and Spencer and Adam went to find their parents. I had to search for Aunt Gwen, who located me instead by the staircase.

"Where were you?" she asked curiously.

"I made a few friends and we were eating dinner together. The Welch boys and Miss Buller-Hewitt, if you know any of them."

"I'm not sure about the girl, but I was actually just eating with Mr. and Mrs. Welch."

"Aunt Gwen, may I go take in some fresh air on the boat deck? I won't be out too long." I asked. I wanted to see the ocean at night.

"Of course. Just don't be too long."

I went up to the boat dead and grasped onto the white railing. It was freezing and the air was bitterly cold. I rubbed at my arms in an attempt to become warmer, but to no avail. I looked out at the sea and because of the darkness I couldn't see where the sea ended and the sky began.

"You're Harry's sister, aren't you?" I heard a male voice say from behind me. I turned around and saw one of the officers from earlier.

"Yes, sadly, I am." I answered coldly.

"Don't be so hard on him." This man spoke in a sensitive tone. He had a sweet face that was pale and there brown hair poking out from under his hat. I couldn't stop looking into his warm brown eyes because somehow I felt a bit less chilly. Although I'm sure that sounds crazy.

"Why not? He left for fifteen years without caring what or whom he left back home. He was sort of my role model when I was five or six years old. Then he was gone."

"So you felt abandoned and forgotten, I'm assuming? You felt like he didn't care?"

"I know he didn't care. He not even once tried to contact any of us. As if he had no family at all."

"He does care and always has. He didn't forget you, I promise you that. I haven't known him long, but I recall last Friday we were just shooting the breeze and he was telling me all about the darling little sister he had back home. He would call you Merry and he would play hide and seek with you, and during the winter you both had intense snowball fights. He also mentioned you were always a very smart child."

"He probably just told you that now and asked you to talk to me for him."

"No, he really didn't. He's been sleeping and off duty for over two hours now. I saw you over here and just thought I'd let you know that your brother isn't such a bad guy, and he does care about you."

"Thank you." I replied in a soft voice, unsure of what to say. "Shouldn't you be doing your job?"

"I have a few minutes. I was doing the rounds. They won't know if I'm here socializing."

"Alright. So… Who are you?"

"I'm James. I'm the officer one rank lower than your brother."

"I'm Meredith. But you already know that." Yes, I was a complete idiot. I felt a bit shy around him, so it was next to impossible for me to be charming.

"Judging on how it's been fifteen years and you were six when your brother left, you're about 21 now, right?"

I nodded. "What about you?"

"I'm 24. I'll be 25 in August."

"My birthday isn't 'til September. Looks like we both got a ways to go."

"Doesn't matter much to me. I'll only be another year older."

"You don't do much for your birthday?"

"My birthday isn't anything special. I'm usually working. I might get a few well wishes, but that's all."

"On my birthday every year my mother bakes a cake and I get one gift. One year my father took me hunting with him. It was a lovely thought for him to include me, but I didn't find it appealing. It was quite sad actually."

"Most girls don't like hunting, so I don't blame you. I'm a man and even I dislike it. The thought of shooting animals for fun is appalling to me."

I was still rubbing at my arms which were nearly numb at this point.

James began to take off his coat. "You must be freezing."

"I'm fine. Keep your coat. I should actually be heading back now. I promised my Aunt I wouldn't be too long. But thank you anyway."

He put his coat back on. "No, Miss Meredith, thank you for the pleasure of your company." he did a fancy bow which looked silly. Then he cracked a smile, as did I.

"Goodnight, James." I walked back to the first class entrance.

"Goodnight, Meredith." He went the opposite way.

I arrived back at my stateroom and collapsed onto the sofa. It may not have been ladylike, but I was in private so I assumed it was alright to not act refined. I smiled while staring at my ceiling. It was going to be an interesting voyage. A voyage for which I was looking forward to much more than before.

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_Thank you for reading chapter one. Chapter two is already done but I'm not posting til I get a few reviews on this. If I get reviews. Those would really make me happy. Also I hope everyone had a fun and safe new years. Chapter two is coming soon. Stay tuned. Haha. Love, Kell._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Titanic, obviously. I only own Meredith, Spencer, Adam, Clarissa, Aunt Gwen, and any other people affiliated with them I decide to put into the story. _


	2. Chapter II

**_Overprotective_**

**_Chapter II_**

I awoke around seven in the morning to Emma knocking loudly on my door. I arose and answered.

"Hello, miss. We must get you ready for breakfast with your aunt." She then proceeded to get a corset from my wardrobe and tie me into it. I had quickly begun to despise those things. With every pull of the laces I drew in a sharp breath as the corset made my waist tinier. I put on a light yellow dress and a matching hat was placed on my head as soon as Emma had tightly pinned up my hair. She was just completing my make-up when Aunt Gwen knocked on the door. The young stewardess stopped what she was doing and then answered the door.

"Good morning, ma'am." she curtsied and stepped aside to let my aunt through.

"Meredith, dear, are you almost ready for breakfast? We need to be there soon." Aunt Gwen asked while she checked that her graying mousy brown hair was still in place.

Emma spoke up, "She'll be done in one moment." and finished applying powder to my face. Then the lipstick, and she smiled politely at me. "Pretty as a picture."

I stood up from my seat. "Thank you, Miss Winfield." I wasn't going to call her by her first name in front of my aunt. I didn't want to be in trouble for socializing with the crew. If only she knew her own nephew was aboard as a ship's officer…

On the way to breakfast I couldn't stop the wave of memories that flooded my conscious. I kept thinking about my younger years. How Harry would push me on the swing outside our home and even play with my dolls occasionally with me since I didn't have a sister. He was a great older brother, when he was around. But then he left, and that fact could not easily be forgotten. I was only a young girl and I had lost my best friend. It was difficult for me to comprehend then.

"Hello, Merry." I saw Spencer and Adam behind me.

"Hello, boys," my aunt was now up ahead of me, "Where are you heading?"

"Going to the squash court to watch our father play. Then we're going to go on deck just in time to see Queenstown."

"I'm going to breakfast. Perhaps I can try to find you guys on deck later. I want to catch a glimpse of Ireland too."

"Sounds good." Then we had to go our separate ways.

"If you see Clarissa, tell her to meet us as well." Adam said to me with a smile on his face that he tried in vain to hide.

"Ooh, I think someone is in love." Spencer stated in a singsong tone and repeated until Adam shoved him lightly.

I couldn't help but let out a giggle. Then I walked faster to catch up with my aunt.

Aunt Gwen and I found a table by the windows which the morning sunlight was shining through.

In the middle of our quiet breakfast, I saw Clarissa walk past.

"Meredith!" she said excitedly and smiled. "Good morning."

"Good morning to you as well." I then turned to my aunt, "This is Miss Buller-Hewitt." and then returning to look at Clarissa, "This is my aunt, Gwen Quinley."

"Lovely to meet you." My aunt smiled what didn't seem to be a genuine one.

Clarissa smiled too, or at least attempted one. What was going on?

"I should be going. I promised a friend of mine I would stop by for a visit this morning." she stated rather awkwardly and left.

"Meredith, that's one girl you do not want to be caught befriending."

I stared at Aunt Gwen with a confused expression, "Why?" was all I could say.

"She is trouble." she leaned closer towards me. "I recognize her now. Miss Clarissa Anisette Buller-Hewitt, right? She is only nineteen and already caught in a scandal with a married man in England. He broke it off a month ago, but it is reported she may be 'with child'."

I gasped slightly. "Are you sure? She is such a sweet girl."

"I'm sure. Although you might not want to ask her about it. I'd assume she would be a bit touchy. Such a nasty ending it was, however necessary."

I didn't respond. I only finished my breakfast in silence.

I then remembered I had forgotten to invite Clarissa up to the deck later for Adam.

After breakfast I returned to my room and sifted through my luggage until I found my journal. Such an old, fragile book. A few pages had already begun falling out since I'd had it for years. I only wrote when something interesting happened, and I thought my voyage on the RMS Titanic could be considered interesting enough.

I flipped through the old pages, stopping a few times to glance at entries such as my 18th birthday when I got this journal, or last year when an old friend of mine, Frank, moved away and we had a going-away party for him.

Finally I found a fresh page and began to recount the events of everything that has occurred since I left Wales. By the time I was finished it was nearly eleven thirty. I figured it'd be a good time to venture up to the deck and see how quickly we'd be getting to Queenstown.

On the deck I saw a few people strolling together, and some were reading in deck chairs in the sun light.

"Meredith!" Oh, no. They found me.

I turned and there were the Welch boys. "Is Clarissa here?" Adam asked.

"No, I'm afraid not. I haven't seen her." I lied and hoped to sound convincing.

His smile fell and then he looked out at the ocean. "Look! Ireland!" he pointed outward and Spencer and I turned. There it actually was. It looked beautiful from this distance.

"Meredith…" I heard a familiar voice behind me, but I didn't turn. "Mer, please speak to me."

"No, Harold." I replied sternly, still with my back to him.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Spencer asked.

"I do not wish to speak to him, but he insists on trying to speak to me." I explained.

"Leave this young lady alone. She doesn't want to talk to you."

"And who are you?" Harold asked.

"I'm her brother." Spencer put an arm around my shoulders.

I sighed and attempted to hold back a laugh.

"Really, that is funny," Harold began, "Because I happen to be her brother too. Now if you would, please allow me a moment to speak to my sister." he reached out, took my wrist, and pulled me aside.

"Who are those guys?" he asked, acting like an overprotective brother. Oh wait… he _was_ an overprotective brother.

"Just some friends I met while on board."

"And why, may I ask, are you on this ship in the first place?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm going to New York." I replied sarcastically.

"But why are you going to New York?!" he asked angrily.

"I'm with Aunt Gwen. She's taking me home with her because she wants me to become a 'lady' and find a suitor. She's hoping to marry me off."

"Aunt Gwen is on board? I want to see her."

"Why? Family didn't seem to matter to you before…"

"Yes, it did." he then sighed and it was obvious he was annoyed. "Are mum and father alright with this?"

"They agreed to it. Aunt Gwen asked for their consent and she received it. I'm now her responsibility."

"They would just give up their only daughter that easily?"

"Well I'm twenty one years old, Harold. I'm not a little girl. I shouldn't be living at home anymore anyway. I should be married, but I never met anyone. Now I need to go with Aunt Gwen so I can live properly. Why wouldn't our parents be alright with that? It's for the best."

"I suppose… I had actually forgotten you're twenty one already. You look so different."

"That tends to happen, in case you hadn't noticed. People grow up and they change. I'm not the little six-year-old sister you left in Wales anymore."

"And I'm not the foolish fourteen-year-old boy who left his family anymore. I've changed too."

"Could've fooled me. If you've changed then why didn't you contact us? If I hadn't showed up on this ship you wouldn't have given a thought to those you left back home. Nothing has changed. You're still foolish."

"I did think about my family. All the bloody time, Mer. Can't you see that leaving was what I had to do? Look where it got me! A berth on the grandest ship on the sea right now. I'm doing well with my life and I'm doing what I love. I figured perhaps one day my family would be proud."

"We're not proud. Once you left you became the world's problem, not ours. We all gave up on you and any hope that you would return."

"I wanted to return. Believe me, I did."

"Shouldn't you be working now?" I asked coldly.

He was silent and then slowly turned to walk away. I watched him leave. That was nothing I hadn't seen before.

I returned to the boys, who were now leaning over the railing.

"Be careful." I warned then, but they didn't listen or care. If they fell over, it'd be their own faults.

"Merry, you've got to see this view!" Spencer grabbed my hand and pulled me over towards them. "Look. You can see the coast. Isn't it magnificent?"

"Yes," I grinned, "It is." The view was lovely, and I couldn't help but lean over the rail a bit too, despite my previous warning.

Soon enough we docked and began to take on more passengers. A very small number of people disembarked.

"Whoa, can this ship really hold so many people?" Adam asked.

"Actually, yes, it can." a voice said from behind us. We turned and there was James. "We're actually under booked. We can hold many more. Over a thousand more people could be on here."

"I would have assumed everyone would want to be on the most talked about ship." I stated. I, myself, hadn't really any preference about which ship I was placed on, but many other people were excited about being on the maiden voyage of the grandest ship on the sea.

"Not everyone. Some people were actually booked on other ships but the White Star Line switched them over to the Titanic. Although less people would probably be a good thing. There's only enough life boats for a little over half the passengers at the moment."

My jaw dropped a bit. "Excuse me… Half?!"

"That's what I said." he replied calmly.

"You must be joking. Is White Star actually that incredibly stupid? What if there's an emergency?"

Spencer placed his hand on my shoulder, "Relax, Mer. We're on an unsinkable ship. Nothing is going to happen, especially with capable crewmen like…" he pointed to James, at a loss for a name.

"Officer Moody." James interjected.

"Like Mr. Moody here. We'll be fine."

"You're in good hands, Meredith. Your brother and I will make sure of it." James said with a reassuring smile. "Don't worry your pretty little head over it."

I smiled back without meaning to. "I'll try."

"Good." James leaned in towards me, "could you meet me later tonight. When you've finished your dinner, around nine o'clock. I need to speak to you. At the stern."

"Sure." I replied softly, with my knees weakening a bit beneath me. Thankfully that went unnoticed by everybody.

James left, and I stood there lost in thought. He was a nice young man, and he had called me pretty! Or so I think… Perhaps he hadn't meant it that way. Either way, I felt a slight attraction to him. Alright, maybe it was more than just slight. I'm not one to 'fall in love' with every boy I meet, but I do go a bit crazy over certain men every once in a while. An attraction like this is rare for me to develop.

"Meredith?" Spencer was waving his hand in front of my face. "Are you alright?"

"Yes. Of course. My apologies. I was thinking."

They paid no mind to me then because the view of Queenstown was more exciting. Although I do believe they were more interested in the view of the pretty Irish lasses boarding through the gangway door below.

"Would you boys care to join me for some tea or lunch down at the café?" I asked after a few minutes of being bored nearly to death.

"Sure, I'm starved." Adam nearly began to jog down the deck but I caught him by the back of his shirt.

"How is it that you were actually raised in polite society but I seem to have better manners than the two of you combined?"

They just shrugged. Ugh… Boys…

They each took one of my arms as we walked down the deck and went to the café. Once we found seats we each ordered a cup of tea and got a few scones. There was just simple light conversation. I found out that Adam was in college and played football for his school. That was a game I was sure I'd never understand. Spencer had gone to college too, and he wasn't the most dedicated student, but still managed to graduate with high marks.

I had only gone to school 'til I was sixteen, but my mother did a lot of work with me at home. I learned more with her than I would have learned at school.

Spencer had spent his years after college working with his father's steel business that was thriving. I had spent my last few years at home helping my parents. I haven't done much with my life. I was a bit jealous of him.

Spencer and I were in the middle of a conversation when we noticed Adam was staring over at the door. Clarissa has just entered the room and sat down. He couldn't keep her eyes off her.

"Why don't you go say hello?" I leaned towards him and suggested.

"Do you think she'd be annoyed if I did?" He asked, still staring at

"Not at all." I stood up and grabbed his arm. "Come on."

"What? No." he protested but I still managed to drag him over to the other side of the room.

Spencer was laughing from our table.

"Clarissa?" she looked up at me.

"Oh hello. Meredith, Adam, how are you two?"

"We're great. Listen, I need to go talk to Spencer for a moment so could you keep Adam here company for a little while?"

She glanced at him and then to me, "Of course. I'd love to."

I lightly pushed Adam into the chair across from her and walked away. I could hear him stuttering while attempting to greet her.

I sat down in my seat next to Spencer and we looked at Clarissa and Adam. She was laughing and he seemed more confident. All he needed was a little push. I was quite satisfied with my work.

"He seems to be having a good time." Spencer pointed out and taking a sip of his tea.

After a half hour of waiting for Adam to return, he finally came back, with Clarissa behind him. "I'm going to walk Clarie back to her room."

Then they left, and I could've sworn that by the doorway she grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers.

"Perhaps we should go back to our rooms too. I'm sure my mother is going to be wondering where I am." Spencer stood up and offered me his arm. "I might as well walk you to our room. They're right across from each other anyway."

I hooked my arm with his and we were off to the B deck corridor.

"Here's your room, milady."

I giggled and put my key in the key lock of the door.

"Mer? Could I possibly swing by around seven thirty and escort you to dinner?" he asked and I stopped to look at him.

"Well aren't you just such a gentleman."

"It isn't proper for a single young lady to be seen without a man on her arm. I'm merely offering my services to you, seeing as we are friends. We are friends, right?"

"Yes, Spence, we are friends. Come by at seven thirty. But if you're late, I'm leaving without you."

He nodded and entered his room as I entered mine and collapsed onto my couch again. Spencer was going to escort me to dinner. Why did he sound so nervous? It's just dinner. We ate together last night. It isn't as though there's anything different, right?

Around 6 o'clock Emma knocked on my door.

"Come in." I called from my comfortably place on the sofa where I had been napping for the past few hours.

"Good evening, Miss." she shut the door behind her.

"Please stop calling me 'miss'. My name is Meredith. I'd prefer to be called by that."

"But-" I stopped her.

"I don't give a damn how inappropriate it is."

"Alright then. Meredith… Let's get you ready then, shall we?" she led me over to my dressing table again and began her normal routine. She was very good at applying make-up, I must say. However I wasn't used to seeing myself look so gussied up each night.

She went on to tighten my corset, which was rather torturous again. Then she opened my wardrobe, "What would you like to wear tonight?"

I chose a turquoise gown with a square neck, delicate black lace adorning the bodice, and dark beads trailing down the skirt.

There was a knock on the door. "Merry?" I heard Spencer's voice call from behind it.

"One moment." I replied as Emma finished the last hook on the back of my dress. "How do I look?" I touched my pinned up curls gently to make sure they were all in place.

"Ravishing, miss. I mean, Meredith. Sorry. It's something I must get used to."

"It's alright, Emma. Thank you for your assistance. You did a lovely job." She and I both walked to the door. She opened it and walked past Spencer, and then I walked out, closing the door behind me.

Spencer stared at me and didn't speak.

Good evening." I greeted softly.

He still didn't respond.

"Spence?"

He finally snapped out of his daze. "Yes, sorry. You- you look nice."

"Thank you. You do too." He was wearing a sharp looking tuxedo like all the men wore. Although I thought they make men look a bit like penguins.

I once again took his arm and we headed to the staircase and then down to D deck where the dining hall is located.

"Spencer!" we turned and saw the same pudgy man from last night.

"Yes, father?"

"You left ahead of all of us, but now I see why. Vernon Welch." he held our his hand to me.

I shook it, "Meredith Lowe."

"Who are you traveling with?"

"My aunt. Gwendolyn Quinley."

"Oh yes. My wife and I ate dinner with her last night. Such a kind woman. She told us about you."

"I hope she said good things."

"Only the best." his lips formed a smile underneath his grey mustache.

"Let's find a table, shall we?" Spencer said. We followed his father to a table in the middle of the room and sat down.

Mrs. Welch was already seated when her husband fell into the chair beside her. She was lanky, with the figure of an awkward adolescent girl but the face and mannerisms of a middle aged woman.

Spencer sat beside his father, and I sat beside him.

"Gwendolyn, how nice to see you. Please sit." I turned as I heard Mrs. Welch greet my aunt.

"How are you, Trina?" she replied before she noticed I was at the table. "Oh, Meredith. Joining us tonight?"

"Yes, Aunt Gwen, I am" I answered plainly.

She sat beside me. I could smell her perfume which she had over used tonight. I felt like I was choking on it, but I hid a small cough into my shoulder.

Adam showed up a minute after, with Clarissa behind him. She whispered something to him before they stopped and stood by his parents.

"Adam, who is this lovely young lady?" Mrs. Welch asked.

"Mother, this is Clarissa Buller-Hewitt." he stated proudly and smiled at her.

Mrs. Welch's smile faded, "Oh." was all she could muster to say.

"She's really a wonderful girl." Adam seemed very excited. He grabbed Clarissa's hand and dragged her to the two empty seats beside his mother. Did he not notice his mother's less than satisfied reaction?

Clarissa noticed. She was staring down at her lap the whole time, unsure of what to do. Then Adam said something into her ear and she cracked a smile.

For two people who had just met they seemed to be connecting well.

The night went on full of mindless conversations. The food wasn't bad though. I had lamb, which my aunt had ordered for me.

"How's the lamb?" Spencer asked me.

I finished chewing and then replied, "It's fine."

"I hate to pry, but was that really your brother?"

"That was my brother, Harold. But I wouldn't really consider him a sibling. He's been away for fifteen years."

"I take it you don't forgive easily."

"No, I don't. Not him at least."

"He seemed rather rude, in my opinion."

"Well, it was only because he wanted to talk to me so badly. Plus, I must admit, it was a bit funny when you said you were my brother."

"I didn't know." he whined, "Also, if you're so sore at him then why are you defending him?"

He had a point. Why was I defending my brother?

"I'm not…" I explained in an annoyed tone. Not at him, just in general.

After dinner ended, Spencer pulled out my chair for me. What a gentleman, right? Yeah… who was he trying to fool?

"Spencer, son, would you care to join us men tonight for a smoke?" his father asked.

He turned to me but didn't speak. "Go ahead." I told him.

"You won't be upset?" he asked. Why would I be? I didn't care about what he did. Besides, I had to go meet James.

"Not at all. Go have fun with your cigars and brandy and business. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

"Alright." he leaned in and kissed me softly on the cheek. I stood there motionless as he then walked away. Was I somehow sending him the wrong message? I'm his friend, and only that. Tomorrow I'd have to clear that up.

I headed up the main staircase and kept going up until I reached the boat deck. It was cold out, so I pulled a black shawl out of my small purse and wrapped it around my arms. Sadly that didn't do much. I still managed to walk in the bitter cold towards the stern of the ship.

I could see an officer standing there. He checked his pocket watch and leaned against a piece of metal. It was James.

I walked over towards him, "Cold outside, isn't it?"

He turned to look at me, but he didn't smile. He instead just rubbed his palms together. "Yes, it is. But I shouldn't be complaining. I'm wearing a coat. You must be freezing."

"I'm alright. I can handle the cold." That was a lie. I just didn't want to seem like I was weak. "You said you needed to speak to me?"

"Yes, I did." then he was quiet.

"Well… What is it?" I was expecting him to say something, but he didn't. He pulled out his pocket watch again and glanced at the time. "What's going on?"

"Nothing at all." he replied and put the watch away.

"You needed to speak to me and here I am."

"Here you are…" he seemed to be trying to come up with something to say. "Meredith…"

"Yes?" I asked, taking another step toward him.

"I…. um…." he stared at me at a loss for words. To me that said it all.

"I think I know what you asked me here for." I said with a smile.

"Oh… really?" he asked with a cute bewildered stare.

"Yes." I took another step toward him and placed my hands around his neck.

"Meredith…" he began, but stopped when I started to bring my face closer to his. We were only a centimeter away when he suddenly jerked his head away. "Shit…" he cursed loudly and placed his hands on my hips to push me away gently.

I turned around to see what he was now swearing about and I saw my brother storming over. "Moody! What the hell is this?!"

"Harry, I swear I was not doing anything with your sister. She came on to me."

"What?" I exclaimed, gaping at the two of them. "What's going on?!"

"I asked James to get you here so I could attempt to talk some sense into you." Harold explained. I looked over at James, who was looking at me with guilty eyes.

"Oh my God…" I put my hands over my mouth and then lowered them to yell, "You bastard!" at my brother. "You're not healing this at all. You're only making it worse. I used to just be upset with you, but now I utterly despise you!" Then I turned to James, "As for you, I am so sorry I misinterpreted what I thought were signals and I feel like an idiot now." a tear fell down my cheek. "Good night." I hissed to them both and ran off towards the first class entrance.

How dare they?! I felt so incredibly stupid! James tricked me, and I made a fool of myself. My brother was an idiot and I didn't care at this point if I never saw him again. I didn't even care if the bloody ship were to sink and take him with it. In my mind, I no longer had a brother named Harold. He was now just some sailor I've never set eyes on before, whom I wish to never set eyes on again. As for James, I don't think I can ever look him in the eye again. This voyage was turning out to be worse than I could have expected. The sooner we got to New York, the better.

* * *

_I was waiting about a week to update because I wanted to see how many reviews I could get on the first chapter. I got four and I'm thankful to those four people for their feedback and the time they took to read this. I hope you all enjoy chapter two. I'm finishing up chapter three and it'll be up shortly. Thank you and please review. Love you all! -Kell._


	3. Chapter III

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter III**_

I awoke in the morning on my own and rolled over onto my side. I drew my knees into my chest and stared blankly at the wall across from me. Last night was real. I remembered and once again felt so idiotic. I stumbled out of my bed and walked over to my dressing table to brush my own hair. I stubbed my toe on a dresser. I plopped into a chair and held onto my foot, waiting for the pain to go away.

There was a knock on the door. It was Emma, right on time. I called for her to enter. "Good morning, Meredith." she smiled, "See, I remembered."

"Thank you." I was still holding my toe.

"Oh my. Are you alright?" She kneeled down and looked at my foot.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just stubbed my toe. It will be okay in a few minutes."

Emma began to brush my hair for me. "How was your night? You were picked up by that handsome young gentleman. And I came by after dinner to assist you in getting ready for bed but you weren't back yet."

"I was not with him. I was visiting a friend of mine. That didn't exactly turn out well."

"What happened?" she asked while tying my hair back.

I then let it all pour out. I explained how I was mad at my brother, and how they fooled me last night, and how absolutely embarrassed I was now.

"That's awful. What terrible boys. They should be ashamed of themselves!" She exclaimed. Then she motioned for me to stand up and follow her over to my wardrobe to pick out an outfit for the morning. I pointed to a light blue outfit similar to what I wore when I boarded the ship.

She helped me into one of those dreadful corsets again. "I don't think I can look at him. It's too mortifying. I made an idiot of myself. I can't believe I thought he was interested in me. He was only interested in patching up things between my brother and I. That's an impossible task in the first place and it's also none of his business."

"He was only trying to help, but you're right, it wasn't his place to attempt to reunite you with your brother."

She fit me into my outfit and then put some light make up on me. I preferred that because with a ton of make up I felt like a painted canvas, and not a good one.

"You did a wonderful job." I complimented her work. "And thank you for listening to my rambling."

"I like to listen to people. It makes me feel useful."

"Trust me, you're very useful."

Aunt Gwen walked in. "Meredith, hurry now. We need to go eat."

"I'll see you later." I said to her and she nodded before leaving.

Aunt Gwen and I walked out of my room and I locked the door behind me.

I went around the corner and bumped into a male body. "I'm sorry." I exclaimed in surprise until I saw who it was. "Leave me alone." I walked faster.

"Meredith, please. Talk to me." Harold followed me.

"Excuse you, but who are you and why are you following my niece?" Aunt Gwen demanded.

"Aunt Gwen, it's me, Harold."

"Harold? My brother George's boy? The run away?"

"Yes." he let his head hang down.

I spoke up, "He's been following me and harassing me. I do not like it."

"I have not been harassing you! I only wanted to talk! Beside, you're the one who got violent and slapped me!"

"Meredith Lowe! You slapped him?!" Aunt Gwen was appalled. A refined lady should never become violent, in her opinion.

"I…. I was angry. I do not care to speak to my _former_ brother, and I wish he would leave me alone. I no longer wish to know him."

Harold was silent.

"Well then, Harold, it was good to see you. But your sister is under my care and she no longer wishes to deal with you. I must agree. It would be best if you do not come near her again during this voyage."

He looked apologetic. "Goodbye… Enjoy your life. Take care of yourselves." and with that, he walked away down the corridor.

I felt depressed because once again my brother had left and was never going to return into my life. Only this time I had pushed him away. This was what I wanted, right? I wanted him gone and he is… So why do I miss him?

Aunt Gwen and I decided to have tea in the morning at the café on board the ship. We didn't really speak, mainly because we had nothing of which to form a conversation about. We had nothing in common and had both barely seen each other during our lifetimes.

I saw Spencer walk in with his parents. Adam was no where to be seen. He locked eyes with me from across the room and to my dread he approached.

"Good morning, Meredith. And good morning to you, Mrs. Quinley." he greeted us with a smile.

"Spencer, could I speak to you for a moment?" I asked. He nodded and I rose from my wicker chair. He and I found an empty corner. "I wanted to ask you about last night. When you kissed me on the cheek."

"Oh… That was merely a friendly gesture." he explained hurriedly.

"Forgive me, but I'm unfamiliar with that one. Perhaps I was mistaken to suppose there was something more to it."

"There was nothing to it at all, alright?!" he snapped.

"No need to get angry with me. I was only asking-"

"Fine!" he yelled. I remained silent and mildly afraid. "I'm sorry. It was a rough night and I didn't get much sleep. My parents were arguing with Adam for hours about that girl."

"What about her?"

"They wouldn't say. Only that she is bad. Adam won't listen to them."

"He shouldn't. Clarissa is a kind girl as far as I know, and he's obviously quite taken with her. If he cares about her then I believe he should pursue it."

"My parents believe otherwise. I'm staying out of it, and I advise you do the same. It isn't our business."

"Right…" I remembered last night again.

"How was last night?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling slightly defensive.

"I mean did you get back to your room alright? Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. Yes, everything was fine." I wasn't going to even explain last night. It was embarrassing and I didn't wish to spread it around.

We were both silent for a moment.

"I guess I'll leave you to your tea." he started to walk away.

"Wait." I grabbed his arm, "I'll see you later, won't I?"

"Of course." he smiled, "You know you can't get rid of me."

He left to go join his parents and I returned to Aunt Gwen. "What was that about?" she asked.

"Nothing. I was thanking him for taking me to dinner last night."

She looked disbelievingly at me, but then went back to enjoying her tea.

That afternoon I was on the deck, enjoying the sunlight that warmed my cheeks every few seconds between the gusts of ocean breeze.

I saw a young couple strolling down the deck and laughing. Then I noticed it was Adam and Clarissa. "Well hello, Meredith."

"Enjoying the lovely afternoon weather?"

"Yes, very much." Clarissa commented.

"Clarie and I were just out for a walk." he explained.

"You both seem to be hitting it off rather well."

"Yes, we are." Clarissa smiled at Adam genuinely.

"I'm very happy for you two."

"I only wish my parents were…" he stated sadly, "I don't know why they don't like Clarissa." he looked to her, but she turned away discreetly.

"I'm sure everything will work out."

They soon went on their way, and I returned to my walk, stopping by the railing to look out at the sun glittering across the ocean.

"Meredith…" I turned, and there was James. I looked down at the deck. "Please allow me to explain."

"Alright then. Explain." I demanded softly and folded my arms.

"I was only trying to help you and Harold. I shouldn't have interfered-"

"You're right." I interrupted, not caring how rude I was being.

"I didn't mean to confuse you or to hurt you."

"You didn't…"

"Don't lie. I know I did. I feel awful. Harry does too."

"Well he won't be bothering me anymore." I said mournfully, but trying to hide it.

"I've never seen Harry try so hard at anything. He really does care."

"Unfortunately for my brother, I don't care at all. Tell him to give up."

"He'll be heartbroken."

"He shouldn't feel heartbroken. He broke a lot of hearts when he left. You should have seen my parents. My mother was hysterical."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm also sorry about that idiotic plan last night."

"I'm sorry for my misinterpretation."

"Perhaps it wasn't a misinterpretation…"

I stared at him curiously, "What?"

"You might not have been so wrong to assume something more."

"Why didn't you push me away?" I snapped at him, desiring a straight answer.

"I didn't want to…" he confessed, his sweet brown eyes looking at me from under the brim of his hat.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

"I mean if your brother hadn't shown up, I probably would have… you know…"

"No, I don't know. What are you talking about?"

"I would have done this." He gently grabbed my shoulder and pulled me towards him, awkwardly kissing half of my mouth and half of my face. He pulled away in a second and blushed, although perhaps his face was just red from the cold.

"I apologize. That was wrong of me."

"No." I grabbed his arm and brought him over to a more hidden area of the deck. I put my hands on the back of his neck and kissed him full on the lips. "That's how it's done." I grinned at the goofy smile on his face. "Although we do have a bit of an issue here. We don't really know each other very well."

"Very true." he offered me his arm, "I have a few minutes. Would you like to get to know each other? Then we can decide what to do with this 'awful' situation." he was smiling so handsomely I couldn't say no.

I took his arm and we walked down the deck.

I told him I was born in Wales and had four older brothers. He told me he was born in England and had two brothers and a sister. His mother had been deceased for thirteen years, and he missed her terribly. I spoke of my friends back home. They were mostly boys. They taught me how to fish, have sword fights with sticks, and a few of them taught me how to kiss. But that's a whole different story.

We must have been walking for a half hour just shooting the breeze when an older officer came by.

"Moody, you were supposed to be back on bridge a while ago." this man had a gentle face and spoke in a friendly tone.

"Alright. I'm sorry Mr. Murdoch." he left go of my arm. "By the way, sir, this is Harold's sister."

"Ah, yes, I heard about you." he looked at me, "I also heard you slapped him two days ago. I am in the presence of greatness." he bowed.

James grabbed his arm and pulled him back up, "Stop flattering the woman and let's get to work."

"Right. It was nice meeting you, Miss Lowe."

"It was nice meeting you too, sir."

"I'll see you later, Meredith." James said, and then leaned in closer, "I'll find you."

I nodded and watched them walk away.

Once they were out of sight I placed my hand over my heart and learned against a wall. He actually had feelings for me too. I was over the moon. It wasn't love, but I did have a feeling inside my chest of excitement and joy. My heart would not slow down, but I liked it.

I wandered around aimlessly in a cloud until my aunt found me by the A deck promenade. She was with a few other women.

"Ladies, this is my niece, Meredith Lowe." she introduced me, with that fake smile of hers.

"Lovely to meet you all." I stated politely to the ladies.

"She is coming with me to New York so we can arrange a proper marriage for her."

I froze.. The happy sounds of the ladies around me all faded. How could I forget about the reason I was here? To be married… What was I going to do now? I could see what happens, I suppose. Besides, I am twenty one years old. I could do whatever I want. My life is my choice. I think…

"Perhaps you should take my son into consideration, Gwen." laughed Mrs. Welch from the back of the group. "My eldest is twenty three."

"I'll certainly keep that in mind, Trina." my aunt replied. "Will I see you for dinner, Meredith?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'll be there."

"Good." They all went on their way, chatting and gossiping.

I approached one of the promenade deck windows and looked out. The water looked calm, but in my mind I could see stormy waters ahead. Whatever was going to happen in the future would not be easy, but I'd have to overcome it somehow.

I retired to the ship's library for the remainder of the afternoon and spent my time reading until it was time to return to my stateroom to dress for dinner.

Emma was walking down the hall the same time as I and we met by my door. I opened it and let her in. "How was your day, Meredith?"

"It was pretty good." I replied, remembering earlier. "How about yours?"

"It was alright. No different than the past few. I've been dealing with nasty women all day. They just love to verbally abuse the stewardesses."

"I'm sorry. First class women can be that way. They feel they're better than everyone, even though they're not."

She made me sit down and began to touch up my make-up.

"Emma, can you keep a secret?"

"Of course."

"Today I saw James. And he apologized, and we discussed everything…"

"That's good."

"Then he kissed me."

"Oh really, Meredith? He did? That's fantastic. How was it?"

I smiled, remembering the way he awkwardly only kissed half of my mouth, "It was sweet."

I was happy that now Emma would call me by my first name as I'd asked her to. I was also glad that she would talk to me like a real person. I know she was only a stewardess, but I needed friends. I've always been a little shy, but I try to make friends wherever I go. It looks like I've been successful with that on the Titanic.

She tied my corset, a pain I'd quickly gotten accustomed to. Then she helped hook me into and olive green and black dress.

Aunt Gwen walked in, "Almost ready, Meredith?"

"Yes." I replied just as Emma hooked the last button on the back of my dress. "Thank you." I said to Emma, who then left after curtsying to my aunt.

I picked up my small purse and locked my door behind me. Off we went to dinner.

In the dining room, people were dressed in their best, as usual. "Meredith!" I turned and saw Adam.

"Hey. Where's Spencer?"

"I'm not sure. I lost him somewhere in here. He's been looking for you, you know. All afternoon."

"Oh really? I was on the deck. I guess he just didn't check there." Spencer was starting to confuse me. He was only my friend. Was he content with that? "So where is Clarissa?"

"She decided not to eat with me tonight. My parents were being too judgmental about her for some reason."

I nodded. Should I tell him about what my aunt told me? No. It wasn't my business. They'd figure it out themselves.

Spencer came up to his brother. "Adam, Mother is looking for you. We're eating over there." he pointed to the corner of the room, and then looked to me. "Hello Merry. Joining us tonight?"

"Possibly." I was actually considering trying to find Clarissa. Since she appeared to be unwelcome at Adam's table. I didn't want her to be eating all alone.

I looked around, trying to find her, and politely smiling and nodding to the people walking past me. I felt like I really didn't belong here. I wasn't of noble breeding like the rest of them. I didn't walk like them or talk like them. I certainly didn't act like them. I was different. No other way to put it. I was just plain old different. As I passed these first class passengers, these grand and almost royal people, I could feel them looking at me. Looking at me like they could sense I didn't belong among them.

I saw Clarissa all alone at a table. She was staring at the strangers pass her, while wringing part of her skirt in her hands nervously.

"Clarissa, how are you? May I sit here?" I asked once I approached her.

"Of course you may, and I'm well. How about yourself?"

"I'm fine. How is everything with you and Adam?"

"Fine…"

"I just saw him. He mentioned you weren't going to eat with him tonight."

"That's because his family hates me. His mother especially."

"But why?"

She was quiet.

"Clarissa, whatever it is, you can tell me. I won't judge you at all."

"Well…" she bit her lower lip as she thought about how to word it. "I had an affair with a married man back in England. After most people got wind of it, he broke it off. Now I'm on my way to America to move on from this. I was hoping most people wouldn't know about it here, but apparently they do. Mrs. Welch included."

"Does Adam know?"

"No, he doesn't. His mother didn't say a word of it to him and neither have I. I suppose I'll have to tell him eventually."

"Maybe there is a chance he'll never find out."

"No… he'll find out… People talk. Plus, I- never mind."

"No, what?"

Her voice dropped to a barely audible whisper. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh my." So Aunt Gwen was right. Poor dear…

"Yea… I don't know what I'm going to do, Meredith."

"I'll help you out. Go to New York with me. We'll take the city by storm and paint the town red. And when your little one arrives I'll assist you. I love children."

"I should… I have no other plans. I sort of boarded Titanic on a whim. I thought it might be the answer. They called it the ship of dreams, so I assumed it might hold the key to whatever answers I'm searching for. Silly, right?"

"No, not really. I was forced to come aboard by my aunt, but I'm finding that some things on this ship aren't so bad. It's been an interesting voyage so far, to say the least. And it's only been three days."

"I am glad I chose the Titanic. I met Adam, and he's a wonderful guy. I just met him but I feel like I've known him forever, you know? I met you too, and you seem like a very nice person. You listen and you aren't judging me like everybody else. Thank you, Meredith."

"You're welcome, Clarissa. Anything you need, just let me know."

The waiter came by and took our orders, and Clarissa and I spent the rest of the evening joking about things. She was a good friend. She had a warm personality, despite the hurt she's been enduring. I admire spirits like that. The ability to remain personable and cheerful in the face of public scrutiny and heartache is what I consider to be an important virtue.

After dinner, Clarissa and I walked up to the deck to take in the air and the ocean breeze. I really enjoyed the salty scent in the air, and the freezing cold woke me up from the humdrum daze I acquired.

"Well hello, ladies." Spencer said from behind us. We turned to see the Welch boys out on the deck with us.

"Fancy seeing you two beauties out here." Adam flashed a handsome smile. He loved to say gentlemanly compliments sarcastically. I must admit, it was a bit amusing, no matter how irritating.

"Isn't it a bit cold for you two to be walking about?" I asked.

"I was going to ask you two the same thing." Spencer gestured to the way I was rubbing my exposed arms.

He took off his tuxedo jacket and handed it to me. I put up my hand to refuse it but he had already begun draping it around my shoulders. "Thanks." I murmured.

Adam followed this example and did the same for Clarissa. He went a step further and wrapped his arms around her tightly. She giggled, and they looked truly happy. If only the poor boy's parents would realize this.

Spencer made a move towards me like he was going to do the same thing, but then he stopped and put his hands into his pants pockets.

"How was dinner?" I asked, trying to break the odd silence between him and I. Adam and Clarissa were giggling and having a conversation all their own.

"It was fine, I suppose. I had hoped you'd be joining us though." he actually looked disappointed.

"I felt bad that Clarissa was all alone. I didn't want her to be by herself for dinner, so I ate with her."

Spencer was about to say something, when James walked over. "Hello all. Hell of a night, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." I couldn't contain a smile as he stared right at me.

"Meredith, I was wondering if I could please speak to you. It's something in regards to your brother."

"I don't want to hear about my brother. I-" then I noticed his wink and realized this was just an excuse. "On second thought, it may be important."

James took my hand and led me down to a small hidden area on the deck. "I've been thinking about you." he stated while still holding my hand.

"I've been thinking about you too. All day."

I couldn't quite see him well in the poor lighting on the area of the deck, but I could tell he was looking at me.

"So… Where were we when we last saw each other?"

I placed my hands on his shoulders, "I believe we were right about here…" and I leaned in to give him a sweet kiss.

As we pulled apart slowly, we laughed from happiness. I was too much in a cloud of my own joy that I didn't notice a very jealous Spencer Welch watching two silhouettes embracing in a dark corner of the deck…

* * *

I'm working on chapter 4 right now. Please be patient. I'm trying. Anywho, thanks for reading chapter 3. I'll update as soon as possible. Please review. Thanks!


	4. Chapter IV

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter IV**_

I woke up in the morning with a smile on my face that I didn't think could ever go away. Emma helped dress me, in a purple and off-white dress, and we didn't talk much, because I was in such a good mood I was in a cloud.

"Somebody seems happy this morning." Emma noted with a smile.

"Yes, I am." I couldn't control it.

After she was finished, I noticed I had a bit of time before Aunt Gwen came to take me for breakfast, so I grabbed the neatly folded tuxedo jacket off my dresser and went across the hall.

I knocked three times lightly, and waited for an answer. Finally Mrs. Welch came to the door. While fastening an earring into her earlobe she looked at me and asked, "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if I might see your son, Spencer, for a moment." I discretely hid the jacket behind me, so she wouldn't be asking me why I was holding a piece of her son's clothing.

"Sure, come right in." she gestured for me to sit on the sofa so I did and waited.

A minute later Spencer entered the room, "What do you want?" he asked rather rudely.

I stood up and held up his tuxedo jacket. "I came to return this."

He reached forward and took it, and then looked at me impatiently. "Thanks. Goodbye." he turned to walk away, but I grabbed his arm.

"Why are you acting this way?"

"Because… Forget it. It's stupid."

"No, just say it."

"Last night I witnessed two silhouettes embracing in a dark, secluded corner of the deck."

"Oh…" was all I could muster to say.

"Yeah…" he crossed his arms and looked down.

"But why would that bother you? We're only friends-"

"Are you honestly that stupid, Merry? Over the past few days I've developed feelings…"

Now it was I who was staring downward, "I thought so…'

"I guess I'll just be seeing you around."

"Spence…. It was only a friendly kiss." I lied.

"That is horse shit, Meredith." he snapped, "Excuse me for the language."

"I didn't mean to upset you." I put my hand on his shoulder.

"You didn't. I just feel really idiotic."

"I wish I could fix this."

"I wish you could too."

I stood there, biting my lower lip and thinking. How could I make it up to him? "Spencer, I don't want you to be angry with me. How can I make it up to you? Your friendship means a great deal to me on this ship."

"Well…" he stared at me and smirked suggestively.

I froze for a moment. I guess the only way to get Spencer to quit being a whiney little boy was to give him what he had been wanting. I pulled him closer slowly and before I could make contact, he quickly pressed his lips to mine.

During this, I was mentally screaming at myself that this was wrong, and I felt a pang of guilt for James. I couldn't stop the racing thoughts, until I was interrupted by the realization that Spencer was forcing his tongue into my mouth.

He pulled away a few seconds later, and there I stood, wide-eyed and speechless.

I heard somebody clapping slowly and we both turned to the far corner of the room where Adam stood. "Very nice, I must say." he smirked at us both.

"I-" I looked up at Spencer, not sure what to do. "I will see you later."

"Yes, of course… Later…" he watched me leave.

I returned to my room and shut the door behind me before collapsing very ungracefully on to the sofa. I'm such an idiot! That wouldn't help anything. I was only leading him on more now. My heart was pounding, and my thoughts were racing.

A knock on the door caused me to jump. "Meredith?" my aunt's voice called from the other side.

"Coming, Aunt Gwen." I replied, and took a deep breath.

Aunt Gwen and I walked to the café again and got tea and a few scones to nibble on.

I was very quiet, thinking about how this situation could possibly get any worse. Spencer obviously had feelings for me, as did James. I liked them both, only Spencer I liked more as a friend. This was insane. Boys didn't usually like me. What was it about these two that made them attracted to me?

"Meredith?" Aunt Gwen was looking at me as I was broken from my thoughts.

"Yes?"

"It isn't polite to stare off like that."

"Sorry, Aunt Gwen."

That afternoon, I was standing by the railing, thinking. The breeze tickled my face, and once again caused my dark brown locks to escape from the pins. Only this time, I didn't mind.

"Good afternoon, Mer." James joined me by the railing.

I couldn't look at him. "Good afternoon."

"I wanted to let you know that after yesterday, I've been a much happier officer." he smiled, and I couldn't help but smile back. He placed an arm around my shoulders and led me from the railing for a stroll down the deck. I felt a bit more at ease. "You got a loose hair." he stopped and pushed the fallen strand behind my ear. "You're very beautiful."

I giggled softly, "Thank you. You're one of the few who think so."

"Now, come on. That can't possibly be true. I'm certain there must be hundreds, or perhaps thousands of men who've thought of you as beautiful. If one hasn't, he must be positively insane."

"You're flattery is causing me to blush, Mr. Moody." I grinned, while trying to cover my reddened cheeks with my hands.

He grabbed my wrists gently and moved them down. "Don't ever hide that pretty face of yours. That would be depriving the world of the beauty it desperately needs sometimes."

"James…" I couldn't come up with words to respond to that.

"Meredith…" he looked at me with the handsome stare he always had.

I leaned forward to kiss him, but then realized we were in public.

"So has your voyage been enjoyable so far?"

"Yes, actually. It has. A tad crazy at times, but none the less enjoyable."

"What have you been doing, anyway?"

"Mostly just talking to you, or the Welches, or that other girl, Clarissa. I even made friends with my stewardess, Emma. They're all very nice people. I've also been spending some quiet times in my room writing down each day's events in my journal."

"Oh, a journal? Am I part of it?"

"Now you are."

"What else have you written about?"

"Nothing really. Nothing of interest, anyway. I wish my life had more adventure in it."

"Not all adventures have to be dangerous or grave situations of which you must overcome using strength and agility, like in some books and stories. An adventure can be something that makes you feel excited. Like falling in love is an adventure. It can be the feeling of learning something new. No life is wasted with dreariness and indolence. Everyone has something in their life that stands out and makes them proud, or makes their heart beat fast. That, Meredith, is adventure."

"That makes sense." I felt stupid because I couldn't come up with an intelligent response to match that.

We kept walking along the deck, until I froze in my tracks. I saw Harold up ahead. He approached, not noticing I was there.

He stopped walking. I think he noticed now. He was looking right at me.

"Hello Harry." James greeted him politely.

"James… What's going on here?" he asked suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing to be worried about. I was merely showing this young woman around the deck."

"Oh… Well just remind my sister that crew and passengers aren't supposed to mix romantically."

I spoke up, "James, please tell my insolent brother that I am aware of that and that I do not need him looking out for me."

"Tell my sister that perhaps sometimes she needs looking out for. She can be rather stubborn sometimes, and very immature."

"Tell my brother that he is a piece of sh-"

"Enough! Do I look like a telegraph?!" James snapped out of annoyance.

I looked down out of embarrassment.

"Sorry, James." my brother said, and went on his way.

James was looking out towards the water, with an annoyed look on his face that gradually softened as he witnessed the tiny waves roll across the sea.

"James… I'm sorry. That was very juvenile of me…"

"It's alright. I just wish you would patch things up with Harry. He's a friend and colleague of mine, and you're a friend of mine too. I just want everybody to be on good terms with one another."

"I'll work on it…"

"No, you won't…"

"You don't understand, James. He abandoned me. He left my family and everything in Wales behind without caring who he hurt. I was left behind to deal with my distraught parents. I also lost my best friend and role model. Being only six years old, you can imagine how that felt."

"I understand that hurt you, Mer, but you have to move on. Being angry with him won't change a thing. The only thing you can do is move on from this. Get to know your brother again and make up for lost time. It's the only productive solution."

"I suppose you're right. I'm just angry with him. I want him to feel what its like to have family not care."

"But you obviously do care since you're so upset."

"So what if I do? Of course I care, I just don't want him to know that."

"Listen. Harry is upset. He feels awful. I think this has gone on long enough. Just go talk to him. Fix this. You won't regret it."

"I'll try. I cannot guarantee anything, but I will try to talk to him."

He put his arm around my shoulders again. "Good." he looked around to make sure nobody was near, and then lightly kissed my forehead.

We walked around the deck for a few more minutes, talking and joking about nothing in particular.

A woman approached me. "Hello Meredith." Clarissa greeted, smiling from underneath her sun hat.

"Good afternoon, Clarissa. Allow me to introduce my good friend, Mr. Moody. You may have seen him for a moment last night?"

"Oh, yes. I remember seeing him." she commented and then extended her hand to him. "I'm Clarissa Buller-Hewitt."

He gently shook her hand and smiled. "Pleasure to meet you."

"So, Meredith, I heard about this morning."

I froze, giving her the dirtiest look I could muster. "Whatever do you mean?"

"I-" then she got the hint, "I meant how you spilled a cup of tea. Dreadful, isn't it? Will that stain come out of your aunt's dress?"

I smiled at her gratefully, "Yes, I believe it will."

"I'm glad to hear it. Well I suppose I'll be off." she stated, and then continued aft.

"I should be going too. I have a shift soon." James muttered.

"Alright. Will I be seeing you later?"

"Perhaps. I may try to get some sleep during my next break, but I'll come find you sometime tonight. Don't you worry."

"Okay. I'll see you tonight." I leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, but I saw some people approaching. "Goodbye James."

"Goodbye, Mer."

I decided to head inside and see what kind of activities people were up to in there.

I turned into a corner of a corridor and saw Spencer coming my way. I tried to go back the other way before he saw me, but I was too late. "Meredith! There you are. I've been looking for you."

"Oh, hello, Spencer. I was looking for you too." I lied, so he wouldn't assume I felt odd about this morning, which I did.

"How was your morning?"

"It was fine. I drank some tea, and enjoyed some fresh air on deck."

"That's nice." he said, and then there was an awkward sort of silence between us.

"So…" I searched my mind for anything to say to break the discomforting quiet.

"Would you like to wander around?" he suggested, since we were standing right in the middle of the hall.

"Sure." he took my arm and linked it with his. Off we went, but this still didn't fix the silence.

"I-" he began to say, until he was interrupted by a dark-haired man coming towards him.

"Spencer Welch! How nice to see you again." the man greeted with an insincere smile.

"Caledon Hockley?" he asked, and the man nodded. "It's been a long time."

"Yes, it has. How is your father?" Caledon asked.

"He's splendid. How about your parents?"

"They're good. Still incredibly wealthy, so of course they are doing well." the man chuckled haughtily to himself.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"This is my good friend, Meredith Lowe." Spencer gestured to me.

Caledon took my hand, and instead of shaking it, he kissed the back. I cringed. "What sort of business is your family in, Miss Lowe?"

"My parents aren't exactly in wealthy professions. I'm traveling with my aunt, Gwendolyn Quinley. She's a widow to a railroad owner."

"Ah, yes. I think I met her two nights ago. Lovely woman."

"Yes, she is." I replied softly.

"So, Spencer, we should have a smoke sometime and discuss business. I trust your father's steel business is going well."

"Yes. Very well."

"Hockley Steel was considering buying Welch Steel Co." Caledon laughed. "That or putting you out of business entirely."

"Leave my father's business alone, Hockley." Spencer was annoyed now. I could see his face reddening and his knuckles whitening a bit as he tensed up.

"We'll see. All's fair in love and war, but not so much in business, Mr. Welch."

"Mr. Hockley, leave Spencer alone, and don't even bother with Welch Steel Co. Are you really that greedy? Is your business not profitable enough for you? Stop being a selfish jackass and leave other thriving industries alone."

Spencer was shocked, but then his lips curled into a proud smile.

Caledon looked shocked too, but this morphed into anger. "Take that back, Miss Lowe." he demanded tensely.

"No. I don't have to. I meant what I said. Now please, sir, if you will, leave us to our stroll."

"Fine. But you'll regret speaking to me in such a manner. Nobody speaks to Caledon Hockley that way, Miss. You'll surely learn that soon." he turned and began to walk away.

"You didn't have to do that, Mer."

"I know I didn't have to. I wanted to. Something about him irritates me. He acts so fake and arrogant."

"I've never liked him. Our families know each other, and I'm forced to act civil."

"I hate the way people are in this society. They're all so snooty and proper. I wouldn't fit in at all. And my aunt intends to make me a match with some wealthy bachelor. That'll be easier said than done. No gentleman is going to want a girl like me. I don't fit in."

"Sometimes it's better not to fit in. As you can see, Adam and I are different even though we were raised in this society lifestyle. I find it to be much more fun to be different and to be myself. Otherwise I'd just be one of the crowd."

"I'm glad you're not one of the crowd. That would be so boring. We're different, and it's a very good thing."

He smiled. "Yes, it is a very very good thing." He leaned in towards me, and I turned away quickly. "I should probably be off. I told my aunt I'd meet her for tea."

"Oh. Alright then. I'll see you for dinner?"

"Of course." I hurried off down the hall. Once I had found my stateroom, I shut the door behind me and leaned against it. Spencer definitely had the wrong idea. My small act of charity towards him seemed to have just made everything worse.

I waited for Emma to arrive. She showed up a little later than usual.

"Good evening, Meredith." She quickly ushered me towards my chair and began to apply powder to my cheeks. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"It's alright, Emma. It's not like you work for me."

She pulled my hair up and pinned it back. "How was your day?"

"Very… confusing." I responded.

"How so?"

"I found out Spencer has feelings for me. And we sort of kissed."

Emma let out a soft gasp, "but, miss, what about James?"

"That's the issue. I care for him, not for Spencer. I kissed him out of charity and to keep his friendship, but I fear I've only made it worse."

"What are you going to tell James?"

"I'm not going to tell him anything. I hope he doesn't find out."

"Good luck hiding that."

Emma finished my hair and make-up, and then helped hook me into a dark orange gown.

"I love this dress on you. It's stunning." she smiled.

"Thank you. It's one of the dresses I picked out myself when I went shopping with my aunt. She chose most of my outfits, but she let me have this one."

There was a knock on the door. "Meredith? We have to go now."

"Coming, Aunt Gwen. I'll be out in a moment." I grabbed my small purse off the dressing table.

Emma walked out of the door, and left after her, locking my door behind me. Aunt Gwen was waiting there in a high-necked gown.

"Come now, we'll be late." she said hurriedly as we walked.

Once at the dining hall, we searched for our usual company. My aunt spotted Mr. Welch and his wife speaking to another gentleman, and she dragged me over with her.

"Vernon, Trina, how are you?" Aunt Gwen greeted with a forced smile.

"We're well, Gwendolyn." Vernon Welch grinned at us. "How about yourself and your lovely niece?"

"We're very well, thank you. Right, Meredith?" she looked to me.

"Yes, ma'am. We're doing marvelous. Thank you for asking, sir." I stated politely. Aunt Gwen seemed pleased.

"Will you both be sitting with us tonight?" Trina Welch asked.

"Yes, we will be. Where will we sit?"

An older woman came over to us. "Katharina Welch? How are you?"

"I've been wonderful." Trina turned to us, "Go find a table and my family will join you soon."

So Aunt Gwen and I found a vacant table and sat down while we waited for the others to join us.

"Hello, Meredith." I looked up and saw Spencer standing behind my chair. He sat in the chair beside me.

"Hello, Spencer." I replied softly. "Where's Adam?" I asked, hoping to start a conversation that wouldn't be awkward.

"I'm not sure. I haven't seen him all afternoon. He's probably sneaking around with Clarissa."

"I take it your parents still aren't alright with her?"

"Not one bit. But Adam is infatuated with her, and I also think she's a great girl. Whatever happens, happens, right?"

"Right." Mr. and Mrs. Welch arrived at the table to join us.

"Spencer, where's your brother?" Trina inquired.

"I think he was feeling a bit ill this afternoon. He said he might go lie down." Spencer lied.

His mother nodded and turned to converse with somebody else.

"Nice save." I commented to him.

Dinner wore on, as did the boring chatter amongst the elder adults. I ate slowly, occasionally interrupted by a comment from Spencer. We didn't talk much though.

After dinner, I felt somebody pulling on the back of my seat. It was Spencer attempting to gentlemanly pull out my chair for me.

"Thank you." I turned to follow my aunt, when Spencer's hand caught my elbow.

"Merry, it's a nice night out. Would you like to… take a walk… with me?" he asked awkwardly.

I felt bad turning him down, so I agreed. He linked arms with me and we headed up to the boat deck.

"So…." I hissed, searching my mind for words to start a conversation with.

"I was thinking, Mer… about this morning."

"What about it?" I asked hurriedly.

"Well, I just can't get it out of my mind. I felt something between you and I. Something unavoidable, Merry. I know I've only known you since Wednesday, but I do care for you. I want you to know that."

"Well," I was a bit taken aback, although I knew this all very well already, "I care about you too." I meant I cared as a friend, but I knew if I said it that way he'd be hurt.

"Yes, but do you care _for _me? In a romantic way as I do for you." he stared at me expectantly.

"I-" I stammered a few times, trying to figure out a delicate way to put it. "Of course." I looked down at my feet, feeling remorse for my lie.

He wrapped his arms around me tightly. "Oh, Mer!" he was stroking my hair, "Merry, I'm so glad to hear that."

"What's all this?" we pulled apart to see James standing there looking on.

"James…" I said, staring at him, and then looking back and forth between him and Spencer.

He was quiet, suspiciously looking at us.

"Good evening, sir." Spencer greeted and then from behind me wrapped his arms around my shoulders. "Wonderful evening, isn't it?" I could sense by the tone which he spoke in that he was smiling uncontrollably. He began to nuzzle his face into the crook of my neck and collarbone. I froze.

"I suppose so…" James answered slowly, "What is going on? Meredith?" he looked to me.

I was silent. I didn't know what on earth to say. I was caught, and the jig was up.

"We kissed this morning. She told me her kiss with you was merely a friendly one." Spencer explained, and I could now see the anger building up inside James.

"James, wait. I- I can explain this entire misunderstanding."

"I'll just leave you and your lover alone." James said in a tone that stung me emotionally. He proceeded to turn away.

I caught his arm. "James! No! He is not my lover. You have to believe me!" I begged.

"I don't think I'll ever let myself fall so fast for a lady again, if one could even call you that. I should have expected I'd get hurt." his eyes bore a hole right through my heart. He escaped my grasp on his arm and left.

I didn't stop him, instead I turned to Spencer. "You imbecile! Why?! Why did you have to ruin everything?!"

"Because I care for you. You told me it was only a friendly kiss with him! I heard you say that you cared for me too…"

"Well, I don't. The kiss we shared was the friendly one. I cared for James, Spence. Not you. We're just friends. Although right now, I don't even think we're that."

"Fine by me." he crossed his arms.

"Fine." I tried to hold back tears as Spencer stormed off, and I was left standing all alone.

* * *

_Sorry that took a while. Thank you for reading chapter 4 of Overprotective. It is now the evening of April 13th, 1912 in the story. One more day until the collision. What events will occur? You'll just have to read chapter 5 to find out. Thanks. Chapter 5 will be up soon. Please review. Love, Kell._


	5. Chapter V

**_Overprotective_**

**_Chapter V_**

I cried myself to sleep, and in the morning I awoke to a soaked pillow underneath where my eyes lay and dried tears around my puffy lids. I rose from my bed and stumbled over to the dressing table to look in the mirror. I looked a mess. I looked like I hadn't slept in ages.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in," I mumbled, not moving at all and still staring at the mirror.

Emma walked in, "Hello, Meredith. How-" she took one look at me, "Oh, good lord, what happened to you?"

"Nothing." I whined, while trying to hold back tears, "I'm fine, see." I attempted to force a smile, "I'm happy. Everything is alright."

"I don't believe that for a second." she kneeled beside me. "What happened?"

"Everything fell apart last night, Emma. Everything… James found out about Spencer, and it just created a huge mess. I don't know what to do. James will likely never speak to me again, and I really do not want to see Spencer right now. I broke both of their hearts." I began to sob again.

"Oh, Meredith, I'm sorry. There's no way to make it up to them?"

"I don't think so. Now I've lost a friend and a man I really cared for."

"It's all going to be okay. I'm sure it will work out eventually." she tried to sooth me.

"No, it won't!" I whined, "It's utterly hopeless…"

There was a knock on the door. "Meredith. It's Aunt Gwen. Are you ready to go?"

My heart skipped a beat, "No, Aunt Gwen. Couldn't you go to the church service without me? Please?"

"Why? What's wrong?" she asked through the door. She didn't sound like she cared, she just wanted to know for the sake of knowing.

"Nothing." I stated plainly.

"Meredith, it is not polite to carry on a conversation through a door. Let me in."

I looked at Emma, who nodded sympathetically and went to answer the door.

"My God! What happened to you?" my aunt rushed to me, "You look dreadful!"

"Thanks…" I spoke under my breath, and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Meredith Wynne Lowe, I demand that you tell me this instant why you're in this state? What happened?" she asked strictly.

"I had a slight altercation with a friend. That's all." I was still viciously wiping my eyes. Emma offered me a handkerchief which I gratefully accepted.

"Well… You're sure you don't want to go to the morning service with me? I could wait a little while for you to get cleaned up." Aunt Gwen said softly. I smiled at this offer, but declined.

"I'd rather just stay here for a while. Also I don't wish to hold you up. Go without me, and I'll see you later."

"Alright. If you're sure. Fine." she turned and left, shutting the door behind her.

"Now, let's clean you up." Emma said and took her handkerchief back. She began to wipe my eyes gently with it. "We're going to make you look gorgeous."

She went on to fix my hair to be in loose ringlets, and she applied my make-up in a way that nobody would ever have guessed I had spent the entire night crying. I looked normal again, but I certainly didn't feel that way.

She tied me into my corset, and my mind was elsewhere so I barely noticed the pain.

Emma then helped me into a white undershirt that gave me just an appropriate amount of cleavage, and a maroon skirt with a matching jacket. I looked ravishing, but for who? Now that James hated me, who did I have to look beautiful for today?

"You look ravishing." Emma smiled at me, "Now cheer up. Your smile is too pretty for you not to show it off."

"Thanks." I replied softly, staring down at my hands.

"Keep your chin up, Meredith. It will all work out. Trust me."

I nodded, "I'll try."

Emma left, and I plopped onto my bed. I wanted to just stay here all morning, but I also felt restless. If I stayed in this room, I'd just be alone and miserable. So I decided to go out on deck, assuming everybody went to the Sunday morning service and would be occupied for at least another hour.

I stared out at the ocean, and slowly walked to the railing. I stared down at the small waves caress the ship's hull.

I took a deep breath in, and then I slowly let it out. I took another deep breath, and then I was interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. I spit out the air and turned to see Adam behind me.

"Why are you out here and not at the morning service?" I asked with my hand to my chest. He'd nearly given me a heart attack.

"I was going to ask you the same." he stood beside me at the railing, also looking at the glistening waves. "I heard about last night."

"Oh…" was all I said, trying not to cry again. I couldn't cry. I wouldn't let myself. Not in public.

"Yea…. Spencer came in last night crying. He rarely does that. I asked him what happened and he told me the whole story. He's been pretty upset all night."

"Poor him." I said bitterly.

"I suppose you had a difficult night as well."

I turned to him with wet eyes. I couldn't hold it in entirely no matter how hard I tried. "What do you think?!" I let out a sob, and furiously wiped away one escaped tear.

He put his hand on my back just over my shoulder blade. "Meredith, stop. Please."

I took a deep breath. "This is all so idiotic. I can't wait to get off this god-awful ship. I don't think I've ever wished for New York to be closer."

"Spence feels awful, Mer. He was telling me this morning how he wishes he could find some way to put everything back in place. He wishes he could make you not angry with him anymore."

"I'm sorry, but as of right now nothing he says or does can make this better."

"Clarissa is avoiding me." he said, changing the subject.

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure. She fell ill this morning, and when I asked if I should escort her to the doctor she got very defensive."

I nodded. I understood why. Clarissa was experiencing morning sickness.

"Don't worry. Probably just a bout of sea-sickness. That's bound to make a person irritable. She'll come around once she's feeling better."

"I hope. Over the past few days I've really come to care about her, you know? If she was sick I'd want to take care of her." he smiled, "She's really beautiful. Her hair is like golden silk, and she has this sort of glow about her. She's radiant, and she lights up any room she walks into. Don't her eyes remind you of a lake? They have that pale green color. I can't help but stare."

I smiled back at him. It was adorable how much he cared about her. "She is one of the prettiest girls I've ever met." That was the truth. I was almost jealous of how beautiful Clarissa was, and her ability to, as Adam put it, light up any room she enters.

"How she ever came to like me I'll never know. I don't deserve such riches. I don't even deserve to be on the same ship as such beauty."

"Oh shush. You do too deserve to be on the same ship as her, and she likes you because you care and you make her laugh. She's been going through some rough times lately and needs a laugh every now and then."

"Rough times? Like what? What happened?" he asked worriedly. I shouldn't have said that.

"Nothing." I answered after hesitating for a moment, "Nothing at all. Really."

"Are you certain?" he stared at me suspiciously.

"Yes. Of course, Adam. Leaving England was hard for her. That's what I meant."

"Alright." He dropped the subject, and I sighed a breath of relief.

"Why are you out here?" I asked again, remembering we'd strayed from that subject.

"I didn't feel like attending the church service. I also noticed your aunt leaving your room without you, and I thought I should find you to make sure you're alright."

"Well, I'm fine. Thank you. I'm just feeling like a pretty awful person now. Look at the mess I made." I put my forehead on the railing.

Adam placed his hand on my back and rubbed it soothingly, "You're not an awful person, Mer. And everyone makes mistakes. The worst mistake though would be not taking any measures to fix what you've done. Trust me, this is mendable."

I picked up my head and nodded. I knew there was one way to show James I cared. It was something I dreaded, but perhaps this action could prove to James that he's important to me. I had to go find my brother…

Adam walked with me for a little while, and we just talked about life back home. I believe he was being friendly and trying to calm me down. It was working.

The morning church service finally let out and a few people had come onto the deck to enjoy the sunshine. To my displeasure, Spencer was one of them.

He stopped as soon as he saw Adam and I, and only stared.

Adam put his hand on my back and led me forward. "Adam." I hissed, "Stop. What are you doing? I don't want to-" and suddenly I was right in front of Spencer.

"Hello, Meredith." he said nervously.

"Hello." I responded bitterly, crossing my arms and looking away from him.

"Well, perhaps I should be going." Adam said and walked away.

"I should be going too." I turned to leave.

"No, wait!" Spencer said and I turned around, "Merry, I'm sorry."

"That's nice."

"I really am. Perhaps you are too…"

"Why are you looking for an apology from me?"

"Because you lied to me. You told me you cared for me. Did you really think that this entire situation would work out in your favor if you lied?"

"I wasn't exactly thinking. All I knew was that you didn't want to be my friend if we weren't something more."

"You could have told me the truth."

"I did!" I yelled exasperatedly. "You didn't want to speak to me then, remember?"

He was quiet. He knew I was right.

"Spencer, just leave me alone. I need to fix this mess somehow. I don't know how to do it, but I will. Good day." I walked past him, towards the bow of the ship.

Up ahead I saw my brother, Harold, speaking to another crew member. I got a feeling of butterflies in my stomach, and as much as I was dreading this, I knew it had to be done. James wanted me to make peace with my brother, so now was the moment.

I began walking towards him, and it took a moment for me to register that I was actually moving. There was not turning back now. "Harold." I said as I was right in front of him.

He looked surprised, "Meredith…"

"I was wondering if I might speak to you."

"Sure." he looked to the other crew member who seemed to get the hint and left. "I thought you wanted me to leave you alone."

"I did. But now I feel like I really need to talk to you."

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I promised a friend of mine that I'd try to fix our situation."

"Your situation. I tried to be nice, but you wouldn't let me into your life. You made this a situation."

"I believe we're both at fault. Anyhow, I made a mistake and now that friend is angry with me. I need to set things right, and one way to do that is to settle our dispute."

"So this isn't because you actually want to talk to me. This is about you trying to mend a friendship? You're so unbelievably selfish, Mer."

"Harry, I-" I took a deep breath and prepared for what I was about to say, "I actually did want to talk to you. I've wanted to for days. I've just been so angry with you. I was hurt, and I didn't want to forgive you."

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I just don't understand how. I went to go make a life for myself."

"But you left me. Harold, you don't understand, but you were my hero. I looked up to you and when you left I was alone. When I was six I didn't have many friends. I played with you, and then suddenly you just up and left without any explanation."

"I said goodbye."

"You told me you were going away for a little while and that you'd be back soon and you'd take me fishing. Well it's been fifteen years, Harry. That's a little more than 'soon'. You were never going to come back, were you?"

He looked down, ashamed, "Probably not…."

"Our mother was distraught for weeks, and father wouldn't even talk to anybody."

"It was because of him I left. He wanted to make me an apprentice, but I wanted to be paid for my work."

"I waited for you to come back. I'd sit on the swing in our front yard, every single day for a year, waiting for you to return. You never did. And all I wanted was for my best friend to come home…" I fell forward and wrapped my arms around him. I believe he had a surprised look on his face, but then embraced me as well.

"Merry, I'm sorry. I really am."

"I was just a little girl, Harry. I needed a role model and you left. You abandoned me."

He kissed my cheek, "I'm not going anywhere at the moment."

"But you will be. I'll be in New York, you'll be at sea. We won't see each other again."

"I can visit you in New York, and I will. That's a promise I'm definitely going to keep. Believe me."

"Please don't abandon me again…" a tear escaped from my eye and was absorbed into his blue officer jacket.

"I won't, Merry. I promise."

I loved how he was calling me Merry. Spencer did sometimes, but it was so much better to hear it from my brother. He used to call me that all the time when I was a child. He was one of the only people I let call me that. I was Meredith to everybody else. Although now I couldn't stop the Welch boys from calling me Merry, so I just gave in and let them.

"Would you like some tea?"

"Sure." I nodded, and he led me to the bridge and into a room called the officer's mess hall. It was a small room with tables and a little kitchen attached to it. I sat down at one of the tables.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to make the tea." he disappeared into the kitchen to put on a the teakettle.

I looked around at the plain white walls that were the same shade as the hallways. The wooden tables were sturdy, and everything seemed clean for the most part. That was the thing about new ships. Everything was clean and used for the first time. Even my room, which would be used for many voyages to come, would still have been slept in first by me. Such a magnificent ship she was. Shame this was the only chance I'd have to be on her.

Suddenly the door to the mess hall opened and James walked in. Upon seeing my face, he started towards me. Oh no…

He sat down in the seat across from me. "Hello, Meredith."

I was silent. Why was he speaking to me? He was angry with me. I was puzzled out of my mind.

"It's alright, Mer. I'm not mad at you."

"What?" now I was very confused.

"I spoke to your friend. Mr. Welch. He came and found me a little while ago."

"What did he say?"

"He told me that he liked you and that he sort of pressured you into kissing him. You just didn't know what to do and he was too stubborn to take no for an answer."

I nodded, because it was true. I couldn't believe Spencer found him and told him what really happened.

"I was actually about to smash his face in for it, but we were able to have a calm man to man conversation and sort this all out. We were able to come to a conclusion." he stood up and moved to sit in the seat beside me.

"And what conclusion would that be?"

He leaned in towards me slowly, "That you're still mine." and he kissed me softly, then pulled away with a smile. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to me again to kiss him strongly, surprising him and myself by my boldness. We didn't part until we heard the clearing of somebody's throat. There was Harold standing before us holding two cups of tea.

"James… What on earth do you think you're doing to my little sister?" I've never seen his eyes so wide before.

"Oh… Harry… I was just-" he had no idea what to say to get out of trouble. Neither did I. "There really is no explanation for this other than I care for her."

"Do you both have any idea how bad this is? Crew and passengers are not supposed to mix romantically. You could get in trouble, plus my little sister is too young for you, James."

I sighed, "Harold, I'm twenty one years old, in case you've forgotten. I can do what I please, and he's only three years older than me. That's not a huge difference."

"Fine." he looked to James, "Just know that if you break my sister's heart or hurt her in any way, I'll hurt you twice as bad. And please do keep the kissing to a minimum when I'm around."

"Will do, sir." he saluted sarcastically.

"Moody, I am senior to you in ranking. Do not test me." Harold said sternly, and then broke into a smile, "Now go grab a cup of tea and sit with us. That's an order."

He followed my brother's orders and joined us at the table. Harold dug out a pack of playing cards and they taught me how to play blackjack. I was a rotten card player, and I lost nearly every round. I got lucky only twice. Harold and James were both very competitive with each other.

Around six o'clock I had to rush back to my room to meet Emma so she could help prepare me for dinner. She was there waiting for me when I arrived, and I opened my door to let her in.

"Judging by the smile on your face everything is good now?" Emma asked, while looking through my wardrobe for a dress.

"Yes, everything is perfect. You were right. Everything worked out fine. Spencer went to James and fixed the whole problem, and I even talked to my brother."

"That's great, Meredith." she pulled out a dark navy blue dress with black beads, "How about this one? It's stunning, and it will really bring out your eyes."

"That dress will be perfect, Emma." She helped me into it after she tightened my corset. "This dress makes your eyes look bluer."

She then touched up my make-up, and moved on to my hair, "Do you want me to leave it down in the loose ringlets instead of pinning it up? It still looks beautiful, in my opinion."

"Pin a few back away from my face, but leave the majority of it down." I suggested, and she listened. I smiled at my own reflection in the mirror. I did look good, and I had Emma to thank for that. "You did a wonderful job, Em. Thank you."

"You're very welcome, Meredith."

Aunt Gwen knocked on my door.

"I'll be seeing you later, Emma." I smiled as we walked to the door.

My aunt was waiting there in a modest, ivory gown. "Meredith, dear, are you feeling better now?"

"Yes, Aunt Gwen, I am. I feel much better."

"Everything has been worked out?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Now let's go eat. I'm starved."

She and I once again proceeded to the first class dining hall on D deck.

There I saw the many people all dressed in their best, as usual. Back home I rarely saw anybody in clothing like this, and the only time anybody wore their nicest clothes was for church on Sundays. But those outfits were nothing compared to these extravagant gowns.

I saw Spencer a few feet away from me. He looked sad, and I smiled at him so he'd know everything was okay. He nodded back at me, but still didn't appear to be any happier.

Aunt Gwen and I sat with the usual company of Mr. and Mrs. Welch, Adam, and Spencer, and a few other people I didn't know very well. Adam decided to sit beside me to my left, and Aunt Gwen was on my right. Beside her was Trina Welch, then Mr. Welch, and then Spencer who looked distraught still.

"What's wrong with Spencer?" I asked Adam quietly.

"He's upset that another man has you. But he's happy that you're happy."

"I hate seeing him like this. But what can I do?"

"I'm not sure. I'll attempt to talk some sense into him later. He's just been having a rough day."

I decided to change the subject to get my mind off of Spencer. "Have you spoken to Clarissa yet?"

"Not really. I went by to see her, but she said she was busy. Although she wouldn't specify with what. I don't know why, but I'm afraid she doesn't want to talk to me anymore."

"That's impossible. I'll go see what's up with her after dinner, if you'll talk to Spencer for me and find out a way I can fix this. I owe him anyway, since he spoke to James and everything is better now. I want to patch things up."

"You got a deal."

So after dinner, I went in search of Clarissa. I found her, leaving the table in the corner of the room, where I assumed she had been eating alone.

"Clarissa!" I called to her, waving my hand so she'd see me. She looked up like a frightened fawn.

"Meredith. How lovely to see you." she stated unenthusiastically. "What brings you here?"

"I was eating dinner." I responded, trying not to sound insulting. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, of course. I'm fine." she began walking away.

"And you actually expect me to believe that?"

"Yes, Mer. Now leave me."

"What is going on?" I grabbed her arm somewhat harshly. "Adam says you won't even speak to him."

"I don't know what he's talking about. I did talk to him."

"Barely. Come on, Clarissa. Tell me what's wrong." she looked into my eyes and sighed.

"Fine…" she pulled me over to the side of the room. "This morning I got sick, and Adam was suspicious. I almost told him the truth… But I got too scared to. And then I've been paranoid out of my mind that he knows."

"He has absolutely no clue. He just thinks you don't want to see him anymore."

"That's not it at all. I do want to see him, I'm just afraid of how he'll react."

"If he cared about you as much as he says he does, and believe me he does, then he'll understand."

"I'm so afraid of his mother telling him, because I'm sure she knows. She's done nothing but judge me for the past four days. This is why I won't eat dinner with them, and why I've been trying to stay away from a lot of people. I'm afraid of somebody saying something about me being pregnant. If he finds out I want it to be from me, but I'm too afraid to tell him."

"Calm down. It's all going to work out." I attempted to make her stop rambling because I could tell she was getting more upset.

"How can I calm down? It's all I can think about."

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. "I have a way to get your mind off of it. Come with me."

I led her down to my room, and we waited about twenty minutes. "Meredith, what are we waiting for?" she asked, when suddenly there was a knock.

I answered the door and there was Emma. I stepped aside to let her in, but she immediately froze upon seeing Clarissa. "Who's she?" she whispered to me.

"A friend of mine. Emma, meet Clarissa Buller-Hewitt. Clarissa, meet Emma Winfield."

Clarissa stood up from my chair and stretched out her hand to Emma. In return she nervously curtsied.

"Emma, stop. Clarissa isn't going to care if you act like a stewardess or not."

"Yes, honestly, I don't mind." Clarissa still had her hand held out.

Emma shook her hand nervously and smiled, "So, what's going on?"

"I thought we could all get together and talk or something. You're both nineteen, and I assumed you'd get along well. Plus, you have no idea who Clarissa is, right? You've never even heard of her until now?"

"I don't really know much about the passengers here except for the gossip I heard occasionally, but I've never heard a word of her."

I turned to Clarissa, "See, here is a person with no clue of anything about you, not even who you are. Here is somebody who will not judge you."

"Good, because I need somebody not to judge me. I've gotten enough dirty looks on this ship."

Emma spoke up, "I'm not even going to inquire as to why. It doesn't matter to me."

Clarissa grinned and turned to me, "I like this girl."

I laughed, "Me too."

We sat around, talking for a while, when Clarissa had an idea. "Why don't we go for a walk? Em, would anybody notice you're out?"

"Well the uniform is a sort of dead giveaway that I'm not supposed to be hanging around passengers." she gestured to her stewardess outfit.

I rushed to my wardrobe and pulled out a long maroon coat, "Here, put this on." I handed it to her and then Clarissa took the white hat out of her hair. "Now nobody will know you're a stewardess. We just have to avoid any of your coworkers."

We went up to the deck, and since by now it was about half past eleven, it was nearly abandoned.

"I haven't really been out on the deck much. My work is mainly inside and then I just go back to my quarters while off duty." Emma stated. There was a handsome fellow who looked a little younger than thirty years old a bit further down the deck staring at her, and she was staring back.

"Ooh, I think someone has taken a liking to you, Miss Emma." Clarissa teased.

"Yeah, Em, looks like you've got an admirer." I said, and she giggled, still looking at the stranger.

Suddenly I heard a few yells from far away. I couldn't understand what was being said from where I was, but it didn't sound good.

"What do you think all the yelling is about?" Emma asked, and I was about to respond when I saw a large looming figure ahead.

"Ice…" Clarissa gasped

The ship was slowly turning, and we looked about to miss it, but then there was a slight rumbling beneath my feet as the hull of the ship collided with the iceberg. A few chunks fell onto the deck, and I pushed my friends back even though we weren't exactly near the ice.

We passed the iceberg, and a few people were not looking over the side of the ship to see the damage.

"Do you think it's anything serious?" Emma asked.

"No, likely nothing more than a close shave. It's going to be alright. The Titanic's crew is more than capable to deal with this." Clarissa commented and then they both looked to me, waiting for my say on the matter.

"I think we ought to head inside. Come." I led them back to B deck towards my room, where I met Adam in the hall.

"Meredith, did you girls see what happened? We felt something, and the engines have stopped."

"We've hit an iceberg. We saw it. I'm not sure how bad it is though." I told him.

"Come into our room. Please." he opened the door to his family's staterooms.

Clarissa and I entered, and Emma stayed back, "I'd best go see if there's anything I can do. I'll see you later." she took off my coat and handed it to me.

In the main room, Mrs. Welch was sitting on the sofa, and Mr. Welch was leaning against the mantle. Spencer was standing in the far corner.

They saw Clarissa standing behind me. "What is she doing here?" Trina asked rudely.

"Mother, don't speak to her that way." Adam snapped.

"Well, I don't want her hanging around you, dear."

"I'll just leave." Clarissa was shaking slightly, I could see it.

"No!" Adam grabbed her arm, "Stay. Please." then he turned to his mother, "What problem do you have with her? She's sweet, beautiful, and in our class. What more could you want? Tell me, why do you hate her?"

"Please, Adam, just let me leave. I don't wish to stay here any longer." she wished to run. I wanted to help, but I didn't know how. It wasn't my place to interrupt.

"No, Miss Clarissa. Stay." Trina Welch smiled evilly, "Adam, let me tell you what I've heard about your little miss sunshine over there. Do you remember your Uncle Louie's friend, Mr. Tyrus Barks? The man you met that afternoon, along with his lovely wife, Sophie?"

"Yes, I remember him, but I don't see what he has to do with anything. I've met him once." I saw Adam grab Clarissa's hand and hold it tightly.

Clarissa was shaking more now, and she had a look of utter shame on her face.

"His wife almost left him last month, because he was having an affair with a nineteen year old harlot."

"She is not a harlot!" I yelled, and then stepped back meekly, surprised I had just said that.

Adam looked at Clarissa, completely shocked. "You… You had an affair, with Mr. Barks?"

She couldn't even muster a nod.

"What's more is that I hear she's also carrying his love child. He knows, of course. Almost everyone does. But he sent Clarissa packing. Now she's here, making a mockery of herself by gallivanting around the Titanic with my son."

"Are you really carrying his baby, Clarie? Is all of that true?" Adam looked her straight in the eye, and she diverted her gaze.

"Yes." she muttered. "It's all true."

"Wait, but isn't Mr. Barks like, fifty?"

"He's forty one." Clarissa answered softly, near tears. "I should be going." she turned to leave, when a steward knocked on the door.

"Sorry to convenience you all, but the Captain would like everybody on the boat deck as soon as possible in warm clothing and lifebelts." he stated politely.

"Thank you. We'll get right on that." Vernon Welch answered from where he was sitting.

The steward moved on to the next room, and Clarissa fled to the hall. I went after her, and Adam followed. To my surprise, so did Spencer.

"Clarissa…" Adam began to say something, but wasn't sure of the words.

"I'm so sorry, Adam. I should have told you. I'm damaged goods. I know you want nothing to do with me, and I'll just be going back to my room where I'll be spending the remainder of the trip." she was struggling to hold back a sob.

Adam placed his hands on her shoulders. "Clarie, I want you to tell me what happened, in your own words."

"Well…" she took a deep breath, still holding back her sadness, "I was vacationing in France with family, and Mr. Barks was on a business trip. One thing led to another, and the affair continued in London. I thought we were in love. He told me I meant everything to him and that I was the one he wanted to spend his life with, but when his wife learned about me, he told me it was over. Just like that." now she covered her mouth to suppress a sob, "Tyrus wouldn't fight for me."

Adam looked her intensely in the eyes, "I'll fight for you." she sniffled and looked at him too, searching his eyes for a glimmer of sincerity. I assume she found it, because she then threw herself against him, molding against his body in a tight embrace. He stroked her hair gently, "I swear to you, I'll fight tooth and nail just for the chance to be with you, Clarie. I don't care about Mr. Barks, or about the baby. I'll help you through this."

"But, I don't wish to be a burden. You're family won't allow it-"

He cut her off. "I don't give a damn about my family. I can make it fine on my own. I want to be with you."

She kissed him softly, and I smiled. He was sweet, and just the kind of man that Clarissa needed.

I looked over at Spencer only to find he was looking at me as well. I think he had been the whole time because I could feel his eyes boring a hole into me.

Spencer cleared his throat and announced, "I hate to break up this display of love, but we ought to get up to the deck like the steward told us."

"He's right. Whatever this is, it cannot be good. Let's go." Adam said, taking Clarissa's hand.

Then up we went to the boat deck, with no clue as to what was in store.

* * *

Sorry for taking a while. This is the longest chapter so far. I hope it didn't disappoint. Anywho, the sinking has begun, Clarissa's secret is out, Mer is continuing her fling with James, she's mended things with Harold, and Spencer is still being emotional and sulky. At least he felt bad enough to explain things to James and fix everything, so he isn't that selfish. I hope you'll all continue reading. I'll get chapter 6 done soon. It should be pretty exciting. Please review. I love getting reviews. They let me know people are actually reading and enjoying. Thank you. Love, Kell.


	6. Chapter VI

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter VI**_

Spencer, Adam, Clarissa, and I arrived on deck and heard steam billowing from the smokestacks. It was more than deafening.

I covered my ears, and looked over to see that Adam had clamped his hands to the sides of Clarissa's head.

"What's going on?!" I tried to yell over the sound.

"What?!" Adam yelled to me because he obviously couldn't hear.

I leaned in towards him and yelled again, "I said, what's going on!?"

"I don't know!" he screamed back.

There weren't many people on the deck at the moment. Only a few were strolling around, curiously looking for a clue about what happened.

The steam finally stopped, and we all looked around for the source of this blessing.

"Hey, Mer, isn't that your brother?" Adam asked, pointed towards a group of sailors standing around a boat.

"Yes, it is. I'm going to ask him what's going on." I walked towards Harold, and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Oh, Meredith. How are you?" he asked. His cheeked looked red from the cold.

"I'm fine. Harold, what's going on? I saw the ship hit an iceberg, and they told us to put on lifebelts and come up here. What's this about?"

"Nothing." he answered quickly. "Just a drill, that's all." he looked nervous.

"Harold, I don't think you're being honest with me." I crossed my arms and stared him square in the eye.

"I'm not really supposed to be telling anyone. Our job is to just get as many people as we can off this ship without a panic."

"Panic? Why would anybody panic if it is only a drill?"

He sighed, "Merry, we're sinking."

I froze and my heart stopped. I suddenly had the unpleasant feeling in my stomach of the ground falling beneath my feet, which it actually was slowly but surely.

He grabbed my shoulders, "You can't tell anybody, Merry. It'll create madness."

"But if people don't know, they might not make any effort to save themselves. They need to know something serious is happening."

"Mer, everything will be fine, I promise you. Do not worry. Just take your friends and get onto a boat."

"I know there's only enough boats for half the people. James told me a few days ago. Not everyone can be saved, Harold."

"I'm aware."

"There will be chaos soon, Harold!" I hissed sharply, "When everyone realizes the ship is sinking and there aren't enough boats for everyone, they'll panic sooner or later."

He didn't answer. He looked back at the boat he was near. There were only a few people inside.

"Lower away, men!" I heard the first officer demand from a few feet away.

"Wait." Harold yelled to him, and the men all stopped. "Meredith, please get in. I need to see you get off safely."

I looked into the boat, "Harold, this boat is only half full. There's room for many more. You could save so many more lives."

"Meredith, look around. Nobody seems to want to get in."

"Because they have no idea how serious this is." I looked to Mr. Murdoch, "Sir, please fill this boat to capacity before lowering!"

"We're doing all we can, Miss Lowe." he explained.

"Merry, get in the boat, now." my brother ordered.

"I cannot. I need to find James and some other people first. Then I'll get off." I went to go back to my friends, but Harold grabbed my arm.

"Meredith, please, you must go now. Go get that girl you've befriended and get in the boat. Men can't go yet, but-"

"Then they'll never get off! They'll die, Harold!" I yelled a bit too loudly.

"Meredith, stop it! Get in the boat!"

"No! Let me go!"

"Get in the goddamn boat!"

"No!" I yelled in his face again, and I suddenly felt the sting of his palm slapping my cheek. I brought my hand up to my face slowly and touched the spot, then looked at him incredulously.

"Merry…" he started slowly, "I'm sorry… Mer, I didn't mean it." he held out his arms to pull me in for an embrace.

I pushed his arms away, "Go to hell!" I shrieked and stormed off.

"Meredith!" Adam and Clarissa ran to me, "Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just glad to be far away from him." I looked around, "Where's Spencer?"

Adam turned around in a circle, "I have no idea."

"I think he said something about going back to his room." Clarissa said.

"Mer, can you go find him? Perhaps a walk will do you some good. Clarie and I will stay here and find out some information."

I thought about it for a moment. The ship was going to sink, and I wasn't sure if I should tell them yet. I'd go find Spencer and then I'd tell them all what I know. "Alright. I'll be right back. Stay on this side of the ship though so I'm able to find you again."

I walked off towards the first class entrance and went down to B deck.

"Excuse me, miss." a man with grey hair came up to me, "My name is Mr. Lovejoy, and I was wondering if you could help me. My young daughter won't leave our room, and I was hoping you could coax her out for me."

"Oh… Sure, I suppose. I was looking for a friend of mine. Spencer Welch. I'm not sure if you know him, but if you've seen him-"

"I've seen him. I'll help you look for him on the way to my stateroom." he said, and I followed him down the B deck hall.

"So what is your daughter's name?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"Her name is…" he hesitated for a moment, "Rose."

I looked at him suspiciously. He seemed to be lying, but before I could question him about it, he stopped by a door. "This is my room." he opened the door, and then pushed me in harshly.

"Hey!" I yelled, and then looked to see Mr. Hockley staring at me. "You!"

"Hello, Miss Lowe. Welcome to my room." he said casually.

I looked behind me and saw the man, Mr. Lovejoy, if that was his actual name, was blocking the closed door.

"Why did you have that man bring me here?" I asked, glaring at him angrily.

He came to me, "Nobody insults me and gets away with it." he hissed.

I tried to slap him, but he caught my wrist. He grabbed my other arm and held tight. I tried to pull out of his grip. "Let go of me!"

Lovejoy came over and put his hand over my mouth.

"From what I hear, this ship is going to founder. You will be going with it." he nodded to Mr. Lovejoy, who slipped his hand around my waist, with his hand still over my mouth. I bit him, and he pulled his hand away quickly.

"That was a bad idea, Miss Lowe." he said, and put his hands around me strongly, pulling me backwards into the next room.

I kicked at him, "Let me go!" I yelled as loud as I could.

He dragged me to a door, opened it, and shoved me inside. I hit my head on a porcelain sink and fell the to floor, as I heard the door slam and lock.

"Meredith?" I looked and saw Spencer sitting in the corner. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, Spencer." I lunged to him, throwing my arms around him.

He chuckled and then turned serious, "Are you okay? You just hit your head."

"Yes, I'm fine." I touched the back of my head and hissed slightly.

"Let me see that." he looked at the back of my head, "Just a bump. But you may want to put some ice on it when we get out of here."

"Thank you." I said softly.

"So I take it you're not still mad at me?" he asked.

"No, I'm not. James came and found me, and he told me that you explained it all to him."

"I did."

"If it wasn't for you, he probably wouldn't have spoken to me again. Thank you."

"It was nothing, Mer. I just couldn't stand you being mad at me."

"Well, I'm not anymore."

"Now, how do we get out of here?" he asked me.

"I was about to ask you the same question."

"I've been sitting here the whole time trying to get out. The door is locked tight."

"Why did he put you in here?"

"I don't know. He's never liked me. He was also mumbling something about how he hates his fiance. I assume he's in an extremely vengeful mood."

"Spencer… I need to tell you something, but you have to promise you won't get scared."

He looked at me questioningly. "What is it?"

"Promise first."

"I promise I won't get scared. Now just say it."

"My brother told me that the ship will sink. And unless we find a way out of here, we'll be going down with it."

His eyes widened in terror. "You're joking, right?"

"No, Spence. We need to find a way out of this bathroom quickly."

He stood up and went over to pull on the door handle. "It won't open."

"Of course it won't. It's locked. You knew that already." I stood up too.

He rammed the door with his shoulder a few times.

"Spencer, stop. You're going to hurt yourself." I said, as he stopped and held his sore arm.

"How much time do we have?"

"I'm really not sure. Things didn't look too bad when I was on the deck."

He sighed, "Well, there is one good thing about this."

"What's that?"

"If I die right here, the last thing I'll see is your beautiful face." he stated sheepishly.

"We won't die in here, don't worry." I replied, taken aback by his sweet comment, and trying to calm his fear.

"But what if we do. What if we don't make it out of here?"

"Then that would be quite unfortunate. I don't know. What do you want me to say, Spencer?"

"I really don't know…."

Suddenly I heard a noise followed by footsteps. "Did you hear that?" I looked to Spencer who just put his finger to his lips to prevent me from speaking.

"Hello! Anybody in here?" A voice called from two rooms away.

"Yes! Help! We're locked in the bathroom!" Spencer yelled. In my mind I was praying that he was heard.

"Hello?" the man's voice called as it came closer.

"We're in here!" I yelled loudly.

The doorknob began rattling. "You're locked in here?"

"Yes, we are." I answered.

The door was kicked down, and there stood Mr. Andrews. I'd seen him a few times, and everybody on board knew him.

"Are you two alright?" he asked worriedly.

"Yes, we're fine." Spencer answer, putting his arm around my shoulders and leading me towards the door. The three of us walked into the living room.

"You both should get topside as soon as possible. There's a big drill going on, you know." Mr. Andrews said worriedly.

"Sir, I know this isn't a drill." I stated.

"We're trying not to start a panic, Miss. Who told you about what's going on?"

"My brother, Harold Lowe."

"Oh, I heard he had a sister on board. It's nice to meet you. I'm Mr. Thomas Andrews." he held out his hand to me.

I shook his hand, "I know. I've seen you. I'm Meredith Lowe. This is my friend, Spencer Welch." They shook hands as well.

"Might I ask why the two of you were locked in a bathroom?"

"Caledon Hockley found me and brought me into his room to talk, and then his valet pushed me in there. Then he somehow tricked Meredith in here and they shoved her in too. He doesn't like us very much, but we never thought he'd go that far."

"Oh my. I have had an odd feeling about that man ever since I met him."

"We should be heading for the deck now." I said, remembering the fact that the ship was sinking.

"Yes, you should. Now go, please." Mr. Andrews begged. "God bless you both."

"Same to you." I said softly and took one last look at him as Spencer grabbed my hand and pulled me gently out of the room.

"Where's Adam and Clarissa?" he asked.

"Somewhere on the deck. I told them I'd get you and then go find them again. I left them on the starboard side."

"Let's stop by our rooms first to see if there's anything we should bring with us." Spencer suggested, so we went down the hall. I entered my room, and he entered his. I picked my journal, and then went to my wardrobe to get a coat. I then remembered I lent it to Emma and she left it in the Welchs' room. I grabbed a few small items and went into the hall, shutting my door behind me and then going across to Spencer's room.

"You get everything you need?" he asked, putting on a black coat.

"Yes, I just needed this." I picked up my maroon coat and put it on, placing my journal and small trinkets in the pockets.

"Alright, let's go find the others quickly. We have to leave the ship as quickly as possible." I said, and off we went down the hall.

A young blonde stewardess accidentally bumped into me, and I realized who it was, "Emma!" I yelled and she turned to face me. She looked exhausted.

"I can't talk now, Meredith. I'm busy rousing the passengers." she explained and knocked on another door.

"Emma, I need to talk to you." I walked over to her, Spencer followed behind me.

I waited for her to finish speaking with an elderly couple, and then I made her stop by me. "Em, the ship is sinking." I looked her straight in the eyes.

"Oh, rubbish. The Titanic is unsinkable, you know. She's a fine ship. Very sturdy. I have all the faith in the world in it. This is only a drill, mind you."

"This is not a drill. I heard it from my brother. It doesn't look like a drill to me. You saw the iceberg as clear as I did. Something is wrong, and you know it."

She sighed, "Meredith, I do not have time for this right now. I need to do my job and wake up the passengers." she turned to go to another door.

I grabbed onto her arm, "Emma, do you feel that slight tilt? The ship is listing. We're going to founder."

She searched my face for sincerity. "You're serious? You ain't pulling my leg or anything? The ship is really going down?" she whispered to me, as a few passengers passed by.

"Yes. I think you should go get your coat, and lifebelt. Perhaps a few small items. Then you should get up to the boats. I'm afraid to say there aren't enough for everyone aboard."

"My cabin is down a few decks. Would it be flooded?"

"I'm not sure. Would you like me to accompany you?" I asked, trying to be nice.

"If you'd like."

I nodded and then turned to Spencer. As soon as I opened my mouth so speak, he interrupted me, "No, Mer, I will not go on without you. I'm not just going to leave you down here. Let's go."

And with that, we all traveled down three decks. Emma led us down what felt like a hundred different corridors. I hoped she'd know her own way out.

A young woman with auburn hair came up to Emma, "Do you know what's going on?" she asked.

"Yes, I do." Emma answered, and the girl grabbed her wrist and dragged her through the crowded hall.

"Wait! Emma!" I yelled, trying to push through people. I couldn't lose her here. I had no idea how to get back up to the deck. Spencer was following behind me, also yelling her name. But it was no use. She was gone into the crowd. "Spence," I turned to him, "I have absolutely no idea where we are right now."

"Me either." he confessed. We wandered around this maze of halls, still not getting even a glimmer of hope that we would find our way out. I saw a few clusters of passengers in an array of different outfit. Their clothes was nothing like what I'd become accustomed to over the past few days in first class. "I think we've wandered into steerage." Spencer said from beside me.

There were men, women, and children, and standing around speaking in a variety of languages. Spencer and I made out way towards a crowded stairway.

"They've locked the gate!" I cried.

Spencer put a comforting arm around my shoulders, "I'm sure it will all be fine."

A man approached us carrying a baby. He began to speak in Italian, and Spencer and I could not understand him.

"Sir, I cannot understand you. I do not speak your language." I tried to say. Then the man thrust the baby into my arms, and ran off down the hall. "Excuse me, sir! What do you want me to do with this?! Wait!"

Spencer looked down at the baby in my arms. "Did that man just abandon her with us?"

"Yes, I believe so." I murmured, and held the now crying infant to my chest. "Shush, dearie. Please stop crying. It's all going to be alright." I rocked the child back and forth trying to sooth her.

A piece of paper fell from the child's blanket it was wrapped in. Spencer bent down to pick it up. "I can't read the handwriting too well, plus I think it's in Italian, but as far as I can try to make out from this, the child's name is Lucia, and her father lists a place to find her relatives in America. That's good. At least she won't be homeless."

"What are we going to do about this, Spence?" I looked to him helplessly.

"I really don't know. I guess we'll take her up to the boats."

"How do you suggest we even get to the boats?"

Spencer placed an arm around my waist and led me and the baby through the crowd by the stairs. "Excuse us! Please let this woman through! She has a baby!" he yelled and a few people moved. We made it almost to the top of the stairs. There was a steward standing by the gate. "Sir, please let us through. We need to get to the boats."

"No, I'm sorry, I cannot. Now please go back and wait like you've been told to." The steward responded rudely.

"There's women and children down here that need to get to the boats. This is serious. There's a woman and a baby right here. Please let them through." he begged. "We're not even in steerage. We're first class passengers, if you couldn't tell by our attire."

The man looked us up and down. "Well, how in the world did you end up down here?"

"We're not sure. Just please let us up."

"I can let the lady and the child up, but not you. Men must stay back." the steward ordered as he fumbled for his keys in his pocket.

"Spencer, I'm not going without you. I can't leave you down here. I refuse to." I rambled, "Please, don't make me leave you here." I begged. I couldn't leave without him. He'd helped me out so far, and he was my friend. I wouldn't leave him locked down here to die. But I had the small stranger's child in my arms to think about. No, I couldn't leave Spencer.

"Meredith," he placed his hands on my upper arms, "You must go. I'll find my own way out of here, I promise you. What I need right now is for you to go find Adam and Clarissa. I need you to get that baby to safety, and I want you and Clarissa to board a lifeboat. Please. Do it for me." I've never seen him look so serious. A tear escaped my eye.

"I can't. I don't want to leave you. What if you don't make it out of here?"

"Then I will have died knowing you were safe."

The steward opened the gate and let a few women through. "Miss, are you coming?" he looked to me.

"Yes, she is." Spencer answered for me. "Now go. And tell my family I love them."

I kissed his cheek softly and walked through the gate which was then locked behind me. I took one last look at him.

"Take care of yourself, Mer." he called, and that was the last thing I heard as I made my way down the hall. I brushed away a tear, and hurried up the decks until I reached the boat deck. I still had the now calmed infant held against my chest. "Lucia, we're going to get you onto a boat, alright?" I whispered to her, holding her tightly to keep her warm.

I was on the port side of the ship. I had left Adam and Clarissa on the starboard side. I hoped they wouldn't be too far from where I'd left them, but since it had been a long time since I'd seen them, I doubted I'd find them easily.

I looked over and saw a large mob around a few boats. They seemed to be the last ones on this side. I rushed over to them. My brother Harold was loading people into one, and James was loading people into the other. I pushed through a few people to get near James.

"Miss, please step lively. Quickly, now." he touched my arm and tried to lead me into the boat, but then he saw my face and stopped. "Meredith! I've been so worried about you!"

"I've been worried about you too." I stepped back a step away from the boat.

He looked down at the arms, "Who's child is that?"

"I don't know. Some man in steerage handed her to me. I brought her up here. Could you get her into a boat?"

James held out his arms. "Here, give her to me." I handed the baby to him and he turned around to the boat. "Look after this, will you?" he said as he handed the baby to a stewardess. He grabbed my hand gently and said "Well, come on. Get in."

"I cannot. I need to find my friends. I'll get off in another boat though. Don't worry."

"I can't leave my spot right now. There's too much to do. But I'd come with you if I could. I need to make sure you leave safely."

"Are you going to leave?" I asked.

"Of course. Only a fool would stay here now."

I kissed him softly, not caring who watched. "I'll go find my friends, get on a boat, and I'll find you again as soon as I can."

"Promise?"

"Of course." I attempted to smile.

We both looked over at the other boat as we heard gunshots and screams. Harold was in the descending boat, firing a revolver. "Now don't any other man try that or this is what he'll get!" he screamed angrily. I looked at him and could see terror reflected in his eyes. He was frightened, which was understandable.

He saw me standing by Jim, "Meredith! I'm sorry!"

I didn't respond.

"James, please get her on a boat!" he called as his boat descended out of view.

I turned to James. "I'm going to find my friends, and get on to a boat."

"Be careful." he said worriedly, and with that I walked off, heading for the starboard side of the ship.

* * *

_Thanks for reading chapter 6. I have a snow day right now in NJ. It's great. Anywho, please review. I'll greatly appreciate it. The ship is still sinking. Oh no! What will happen? You'll have to read chapter 7 to find out. It will be posted soon. Thanks. Love, Kell._


	7. Chapter VII

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter VII**_

There were now many more people on the deck. I kept frantically looking in every direction as I made my way to the other side of the ship. I needed to locate Adam and Clarissa. Perhaps they'd left already? I hoped they did. But men weren't allowed in boats. So I'd most likely find Adam somewhere around here. Then I'd try to find some way to get him off the ship.

I tried to find any thought to keep my mind off Spencer, but I couldn't. I couldn't help but think about how he'd be stuck down there and drown… It pained my heart. He was my friend, and I loved him like a friend. It took a lot to not run back down and find him.

"Meredith Lowe!" I turned to see Adam running towards me. And behind him was Clarissa, grasping his hand.

"Adam, Clarissa. Why didn't either of you leave yet?" I asked worriedly.

"I can't get her to leave me. The ship is sinking, Mer." Adam said.

"I've known ever since I spoke to Harold. We need to get both of you off the ship."

Clarissa looked horrified. "I won't leave without Adam, but they won't let him onto a boat."

"We'll find some way, Clarissa. Don't worry. You're in a condition. You need to get off safely." I tried to persuade her, but she just wasn't listening.

"No. I refuse to go anywhere without Adam." she grasped his hand tighter.

"Where's Spencer?" Adam asked.

I looked down. "He's down on E deck…"

"What?!" his eyes widened, "Why?!"

"Well, you see, we got very lost, and they're keeping the steerage passengers behind a gate down there. We got stuck and they only let me through. He couldn't come with me."

"So you left him?!" Adam cried.

"I didn't know what else to do! I didn't want to, but he begged me to go. He said he'd find a way out of it. But if he didn't, he wanted me to tell you he loves you and the rest of your family."

Adam shut his eyes, and then covered his face with both hands.

Clarissa placed her hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright, darling?"

"Yea… I'm fine." he said after a few moments.

"What are we going to do?" Clarissa asked.

"I have absolutely no idea." I replied. It was the truth. I had no idea where to go from here.

"I want to go find my brother." Adam stated, staring not at me, but through me, as in deep thought.

"No, you can't. You'll get stuck down there too and die." Clarissa reasoned, grabbing his arm.

"Come on." I gestured at them both to follow me. I went to a sailor and asked, "Where are the other boats?"

He was picking up a rope from the deck, "They've all gone, I'm afraid. There's perhaps one left all the way forward."

"Thank you." I grabbed Adam's arm and ran down the deck with my friends in tow.

The deck had a steeper tilt to it, and we hurried down towards the bow of the ship, and stopped as we saw water washing over the deck. We were able to see a boat that was in the water being swamped by frantic people and flooded by sea water.

"I don't think we'll be able to get into a boat at this point." Clarissa stated. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the rising water.

Adam grabbed both of our hands. "We need to find some way off this ship. Now." he dragged us back the way we came.

We stopped by the railing, and I looked over the side of the ship. It didn't look good. The green ocean was surging up over the wood, engulfing the ship.

"I think we're going to have to jump, Adam." I yelled to him, trying to be heard over the voices of more panicking passengers.

He nodded. "We're all going to have to jump as far out from the ship as possible. Then try to swim to a nearby lifeboat. It looks like our only choice at this moment."

Clarissa looked worried, so he grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly.

"The water is going to be freezing once you hit it. It's going to hurt, and it's going to be unbearable. Just please when you surface, try to find each other again and we'll swim to a boat. If you don't see anyone, swim to a boat anyway. You both understand me?"

Clarissa and I nodded. I swallowed nervously and looked down the side of the ship again. Adam climbed over the railing and carefully helped Clarissa over. Holding hands, they both jumped down and hit the water below with a splash. I waited for them to surface. I waited a long time… Perhaps they'd swam underneath the water and surfaced elsewhere? I had no idea. But now it was my turn.

I climbed over the cold white railing slowly and gripped the metal tight once I was on the other side facing out towards the black night. It was now or never. I took another glance to the water crawling up the deck and the people running up past me to the stern. I faced forward, closed my eyes, took a deep breath and jumped with all my might out towards the cold abyss. I felt like I fell for an eternity, but as soon as my body hit the water I couldn't think about anything else besides the stabbing cold. It was burning right through every inch of my body. I surfaced, gasping for air as soon as I came up.

I looked around, trying to find anybody I knew in the water, but all I could see was strangers splashing on every side of me. "Adam! Clarissa!" I screamed, looking for any sign of them. "Spencer! James!" I also yelled, desperately wishing to find one of them. "Harold!" I had to admit, I'd even take my brother's company at the moment. I didn't care. I just didn't want to be alone in this freezing hellhole.

A person jumped and landed about two feet away from me, splashing me with more freezing water. I decided to swim for a boat. I hadn't swam much. Only a bit as a child. I also had no lifebelt. I should have grabbed one before I left my room. Oh how stupid I was.

I paddled my way through the cold water to the edge of the crowd forming in the ocean. I could see a boat lingering around the area. I swam frantically to them.

"Oh, dear, here's another one." a woman stated, and I felt hands being reached out to me, and I was lifted up out of the water and found myself in the sanctity of the lifeboat.

A blanket was wrapped around my shoulders, but that didn't help much since my clothing was soaked entirely and clinging to my skin, keeping me frozen.

The boat picked up two more men after me, and then they rowed off, trying to get away before the ship finally foundered. I watched in horror as the lights on the ship flickered and burned out completely. The hull groaned under the stress, and suddenly boards snapped and steel tore. It was such a sickening sound, and despite it being so dark out, I could swear the entire ship had broken in half. I cringed at the sound, looking away from the silhouette of the once mighty Titanic.

I had the feeling of a knife being shoved into my heart as I remembered I had left Spencer down in steerage, and I'd lost Emma on E deck, and I had absolutely no idea where anybody else was.

The ocean claimed the Titanic, sucking the leviathan beneath the waves.

Hanging my head down, I suppressed a sob with no tears. I held my hand to my mouth, but I wished to scream or cry or do something. I had absolutely no way to deal with the feelings.

"Oh my God…" a woman said after a few moments. "It actually sank…"

"I left my husband on there!" another woman cried.

"Oh, shush now." a sailor ordered, "All your crying is getting on my nerves."

I heard a sniffle a few seats behind me, "I left my husband and two sons on board." a familiar voice muttered.

I turned to see Trina Welch wrapped in a large fur coat. "Oh, Miss Lowe!" she noticed my presence I the boat, "You were with my sons. Have you seen them? Where are they?"

"I don't know, ma'am." I replied, not wishing to tell her what I knew.

"But you must know something! Where are my boys?!"

"I know nothing, Mrs. Welch. I am sorry. I have not seen Spencer or Adam in a while. I'm sure they're fine though. Please do try to calm down and keep positive."

She settled down and stayed quiet in her seat.

That's when I noticed the wailing rising from the wreck site. Hundreds of people were behind in the water, dying, and crying out for help.

"We should go back." an older woman said from behind me.

"No, we can't!" Trina Welch yelled hysterically, "They'll swamp the boat!"

"The lady is right," the sailor in charge stated, "Those people will pull us right down and we'll only end up where they are now. It isn't worth it."

"But that might be my husband out there!' the older woman yelled out. "Can you actually sit here and ignore those screams?" she turned to Mrs. Welch, "Any one of those screams could belong to one of your sons," and then she turned to speak to everyone else, "They could be belong to any one of your husbands or friends. Are you really just going to stay here as they die?"

"Yes! Now shut your mouth!" the sailor snapped as he rubbed his hands together to keep warm.

A few minutes later, a few of the boats nearby floated closer to ours. "Oi! Boats 10, 4, 12, and collapsible D, drift closer together!" a familiar voice called, "We're going to tie up these boats to one another." I looked to a boat rowing towards the little cluster and I saw Harold shouting commands to his sailors.

We found some rope stored under the seats in our lifeboat, as did the other boats, and we used it to tie them all tightly together.

Harold shone a flashlight towards the grouping. "Right, listen to me, men. We have to go back. I want to transfer all the women from this boat into that boat, as quick as you can. Make some space over there. Move forward and aft." he kept shouting out directions.

Women were being moved from his boat one by one and distributed between the others.

One woman was moving quickly and he feared she may fall or trip while switching boats. "Not too quickly madam." he said and pulled on her scarf. The scarf came off and the woman turned around quickly to face him. Then it was obvious that this was not a woman. This was a man pretending to be one. "How dare you! Get in there!" Harold yelled and pushed the man into the boat beside mine.

Once his lifeboat was empty except for himself his few crewmen, he commanded with a strong voice of leadership, "I need some men to come with me to search for survivors. Who's up for it?" he looked around, searching the faces. "You, you, you, and you." he pointed to a few random sailors, "You'll be coming with me."

As those men were switching into his boat, I decided to stand up. "Harold!" I called, and he turned quickly towards me.

"Meredith? Oh, thank God, you're alright!" he attempted to smile, but failed.

"Harold, I'll go with you."

"No, you will do no such thing. It's not safe for you."

"I'm twenty-one years old, Harry. I can decide for myself what's safe and what's not. I want- no, need to go back." I hoped I'd be able to save any of my friends who might be left behind.

"Merry, sit down. You're staying in that boat, and that's final." He barked at me.

I sat down and crossed my arms. How dare he tell me what to do.

Soon he and the other men rowed off, and it was silent in the cluster of boats he left behind.

How could I have left Spencer behind? He was most likely dead now because I didn't fight him hard enough to attempt to come with me. And the worst part about it was, his mother was sitting a few seats away wondering where her sons are, and I know. I just wouldn't dare tell her. I never saw Adam or Clarissa surface after they jumped. For all I knew, they could be dead. I was hoping they made it to a boat. I should think positive for now. Worrying will get me nowhere.

I looked over at Mrs. Welch. Her face was extremely pale, and she looked expressionless. But I could somehow sense the worry in her. I shared the same worry.

The moans from the wreck site continued for at least another half hour until they died out entirely. I heard a few calls in the night, which I assumed to have been my brother's voice looking for survivors.

The four boats tied together drifted for what seemed like hours. People in my boat were quiet, trying to grasp the situation.

"This man that was pulled from the water," a young woman beside me said softly, "he seems to have died…"

I looked over to see a pale, lifeless body on the girl's shoulder, and she had a shawl wrapped around his shoulders, which didn't seem to have helped him.

Two men shifted their seats and came over to lift up the man. "We'll throw him overboard to make more room. His body will be picked up with the others."

I turned my head away. I couldn't bear the sight of the dead man.

The air was bitterly cold. My nose lost all feeling in it, as had basically every part of my body. My clothing was still soaked, and I was shaking uncontrollably.

"Miss, are you alright?" a sailor asked me.

"Y-yes." I stuttered.

"Here, take my coat." he took off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders over the blanket. I was too freezing to decline.

"Thank you."

We drifted longer in the darkness, silently waiting.

"Look! Over there!" one lady stood up in the boat, "A light! It's a boat!"

"No, it's not. Sit down." a sailor commented irritably while hunched over and shivering.

"She's right! It's a ship!" somebody else in the boat beside us exclaimed. I looked towards the light and could make out a faint shape of an ocean liner in the lightening distance. I was too numb to become too excited over it, but the idea of rescue not being far off warmed me slightly. Although I still felt like falling asleep, I knew I couldn't. Being in damp clothing in this weather could cause me to freeze and succumb to hypothermia.

As the sun gradually rose and spread it's light over the sea, the other lifeboats came into view.

"Is that a group of men on a funnel?" somebody pointed, and we all looked to see about thirty men all floating on some sort of object.

"Do you need help?!" the sailor in our boat asked.

"Yes!" came the reply, "Come take us off of this!"

We cut the four boats loose, and ours along with one other went to help them.

We pulled up beside them to find the men were all standing atop an overturned lifeboat. A few carefully climbed into our boat, but most went to the other.

I turned my head to looked down, but then I looked back. Did I just see… No, it couldn't have been… I thought I'd just seen Spencer, but I must be mistaken. I didn't see him now.

Our lifeboat then started towards the ship ahead. I could make out the name Carpathia on the side. We approached slowly, and after waiting for a long time, it was our boat's turn to be rescued. Our lifeboat pulled along side of the ship.

"What lifeboat is this?" a man on the deck yelled.

"Number four, sir!" answered a sailor.

One by one the occupants climbed the ladder. The weak and the injured, and a few children were lifted up in a sack. When my turn came, I grasped the rope ladder with both hands and slowly began to climb. It felt unreal, but so relieving to be so close to food and warmth. As soon as I reached the top, two men helped me over the railing and steadied me on the deck. It felt like ages since I'd stood on a solid deck. The coat and blankets were removed from my shoulders and a warm dry one replaced them, and a warm mug of tea was placed in my hands. I went to go sit down on a bench on deck, and I sipped the tea slowly, letting the warmth fill me up.

"Miss Lowe, have you seen my sons anywhere?" Mrs. Welch rushed to me.

"No, I have not. I've only just gotten aboard, Ma'am, as have you." I answered.

She sat on the bench beside me and looked straight ahead. "The last time I saw my son Adam, I was horrible to him… I spoke the truth, but now I worry I should have just bit my tongue. I'll have to apologize to him when he comes aboard, and to that girl. Although I still will not accept her into my family."

"Ma'am, pardon me, but shouldn't you care more about the fact that she makes your son the happiest he's ever been? Shouldn't that be all that matters?"

"People dream of that, but in our society, Miss Lowe, it is an impossibility."

I took another sip of my tea. I thought it best not to argue with her right now. I didn't have the strength to. She sat with me awhile, keeping me company. More survivors boarded. I saw many familiar faces, as different as they appeared. Everybody looked disheveled and tired, but it wasn't as if I'd expected them to all arrive looking as thought they were going to meet the Queen.

I finished my tea and put the mug down beside me. I had no idea what to do next. No idea where to go, or how to act. I looked up at the last few survivors climbing the ladder, and then I saw a familiar face. But it couldn't be…

"Spencer!" Mrs. Welch yelled and ran over to the man I had just been looking at. He looked up at the sound of his name and his mother embraced him.

He was alive. I hadn't been mistaken when I thought I'd seen him. I approached him and Mrs. Welch.

"Spencer, dear, I'm so glad you're alive." Mrs. Welch finally let him go, "Have you seen your brother anywhere?"

"No, mother, I haven't. I'm sure he's around here somewhere." he answered.

"Alright, I'm going to see if I can track down anybody who may know Adam's whereabouts." she hurried off.

"Hello, Spence." I greeted softly.

He smiled slightly at me, and I returned the grin.

I threw my arms around him, which surprised him and myself.

He laughed and wrapped his arms around my back. "Well you seem happy to see me for once."

I pulled away, "I thought you had died."

He raised up his arms and then dropped them back down to his side, then turned around completely, coming back to face me. "I'm pretty certain I'm still alive.

"And I couldn't be anymore grateful. How did you get out of the mob on E deck? The gates were locked."

"They finally let us all go up and I rushed to the boat deck just in time to see people fiddling around with one of those collapsible boats. It was upside down on the deck, and I tried to help them with it, until a wave rolled over the deck and washed all of us and the boat into the ocean. I climbed onto the overturned boat and there we all stood all night until two other boats came to take us off. I'm freezing."

I took the blanket off my shoulders and handed it to him. "I can go get myself another one. Take this."

Normally I'm sure he would have made me keep it, but he was just to cold now that he couldn't help but accept my gesture.

"So did you get that child onto a lifeboat?"

"Yes, I did. I gave her to James and he put her in a boat. Then I went off to find your brother."

"Did you find him?"

"Yes, and Clarissa. We all jumped off the side of the ship together, in order to swim to the lifeboats. I haven't seen them since." I wasn't going to tell him that I hadn't witnessed either of them surface. I didn't want to cause him to be alarmed.

"I'm sure we'll find him around here somewhere. Probably in the dining room stuffing his face." he laughed, as did I.

He led me inside where we found a stewardess distributing blankets. I took one. "The water was freezing last night." I commented to him.

"I know." he grabbed the blanket from my hands and wrapped it around me. "You should probably get out of those clothes somehow. They must be soaked and freezing."

"They are." My dress was still damp and sticking to my skin.

"Meredith!" I turned to see Aunt Gwen approach me. Her hair was falling out of it's bun from underneath her hat.

"Hello, Aunt Gwen." I greeted, and she placed her hands on my shoulders and examined my face.

"You're alright, aren't you? Not hurt at all? Dear me, my brother George would kill me if I allowed any harm to befall his daughter."

"I'm fine. Believe me. How about yourself? You make it off alright?"

"Yes, I got into an early boat. Oh, but how dreadful that all was. Such a large ship, filled with so many fine things. Gone."

"Aunt Gwen, there's a lot more than just fine things gone. Did you even take notice of how many people were still aboard in the end? There's got to be hundreds of casualties."

She was silent.

"What's going to happen now? Do you think they'll be taking us to New York?" Spencer asked.

"Hopefully. I have a gala to attend next weekend, and I have to go shopping for a new outfit before."

I just stared at her. She didn't seem to get it.

"Oh, and Meredith, I already spoke to a first class woman I've met before. Mrs. Hoplin. She is going to move into her daughter's room and give us hers. And, Mr. Welch, I saw your mother and already told her that I was able to secure a stateroom for you all as well. It's room A-65.

"Thank you, ma'am."

Aunt Gwen went to go sit down in a chair, and Spencer and I followed. "Did Iris survive?" I asked, inquiring about the fate of her maid.

"Oh, yes. She is resting now. I gave her time off until we make it to land."

A man came over to us, "Excuse me, may I take your names? Full names please."

"Gwendolyn Mildred Quinley." Aunt Gwen responded.

Then me, "Meredith Wynne Lowe."

"Spencer Lucas Welch."

"Thank you kindly." The man wrote down our names and left.

"I'm going to go find Trina, to go see if she'd like to join me for some tea. I'm dreadfully cold." Aunt Gwen said, and walked off.

Spencer offered me his arm, and I took it as we proceeded to promenade down out of the large dining room which was now being set up with bedding, and we walked down a few hallways in silence.

"Anything you wish to talk about?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Not really. I don't even know what to say. What happened last night almost doesn't feel real…"

He nodded, and we continued our silent walk. I felt comfort just from the fact that I wasn't alone.

I wondered where Adam was, and Clarissa, James, and Emma. I hadn't seen any of them yet. I wasn't too worried about James, because I was certain he'd made it onto a boat. He'd find me eventually. It was the other three who I had no idea about the fate of, and this thought was gnawing at me inside. Although after the sinking, I was too shocked to really think straight.

We ran into my aunt again. "Hello again, Mrs. Quinley." Spencer greeted politely.

"Hello. You- Your mother needs to see you. She's in room A-65 right now." she instructed, and Spencer looked to me.

"I'll see you later, Mer." he then walked off in search of his mother.

Aunt Gwen and I began to walk.

"So what was that all about?" I asked.

"Nothing, Meredith. I'll explain it later."

If it was truly nothing, then what was there to explain? I could see the worry etched into her face. "Aunt Gwen, please tell me."

She paused, and remained silent, staring at my pleading face for at least a full minute before sighing. "Mrs. Welch has lost a son." Aunt Gwen explained.

"What? That can't be… Spencer- Oh God." I covered my mouth. "Adam." I rushed out of the room and down the hall to find the room where Spencer and his mother told me they'd be.

I knocked on the door frantically until Spencer opened it. His eyes were shining with fresh tears, and his mother was in the corner sobbing uncontrollably.

"So… It's true…" I said softly, and Spencer nodded.

I collapsed into his arms. "This can't be happening. It can't be."

"Well it is happening…" he then got very quiet.

The only sound in the room was that of Trina Welch's sobs.

"What is Clarissa going to do now? She'll be heartbroken." I cried into his shoulder.

"Meredith…" he began, "Clarissa didn't make it either…" he sniffled and furiously wiped a tear with the back of his hand.

"No… She can't be dead, Spence!" I cried, and then whispered, "She was pregnant, for God's sake."

He covered his face with his hands and I could hear another sob. His mother started to cry harder in her chair in the corner.

I slumped into another chair in the room, and felt a tear fall from my eye and roll down my cheek. Adam and Clarissa were gone, and I was possibly the last person to see them alive. I should have done something to help them… Even though I couldn't find a reason to blame myself, I still did. I too began to sob along with Spencer and his mother. I couldn't imagine how this whole nightmare could get any worse.

* * *

_I'm sorry this took a while. I was sick, and there was some stuff going on, but I finally got this up. Chapter 8 will be up soon. Yea... So Adam and Clarissa are gone, and no word yet on Emma or James. What will happen? You'll have to keep reading to find out. Thank you for reading. Please review. Love, Kell._


	8. Chapter VIII

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter VIII**_

Spencer and his mother wanted me out so they could have some time alone, and I understood entirely. I was able to hold in my tears until I reached the deck, and I plopped down onto a bench and let it all out.

"Meredith!" I heard heavy footsteps approaching me fast. I looked up to see my brother.

"Oh, Harold…" I said emotionlessly, and then I had a hard time speaking. "How are you?" I managed to choke out.

"I'm managing as well as possible, under the circumstances. Are you alright? You're crying."

"Really, Harry? Am I?!" I screamed at him sarcastically.

He sat down beside me and put his arm around my shoulder. Leaning in towards me he whispered, "Merry, it's going to be okay." he began rubbing my upper arm in an attempt to calm me down.

"No, it's not. Two of my close friends are gone…" I explained with a broken voice.

"I'm sorry, Mer. I really am. I would offer some sort of advice if I could, but I'm just as confused and shocked as everybody else who survived last night. I probably lost half of my friends, seeing as they were crew members. They were also brave men who stayed to the end trying to help others. I saw a few of them last night, in the water when I went back for survivors." his eyes were now tearing.

"How many people are dead?" I asked, staring into his eyes that I could sense were filled with pain like mine.

"From what I hear, it could be well over a thousand… I saw hundreds of bodies last night. The ocean was so thick with corpses, it was difficult to row through them. I saw men, women, children. I even saw a woman with a baby frozen to her chest in her arms. And I also came across a young man and woman. They were hanging onto a floating chair, with their hands clasped together, and their other arms were tightly around each other. It was as if they were doing a waltz. The girl was so beautiful too. Her blonde hair was frozen over, but that gave it the appearance of glittering gold. She was about your age, I assume."

It actually sounded like Clarissa. "What did the young man look like?"

"Brown hair. He looked about your age as well. The sight of them broke my heart a little."

Yes, I'm pretty sure that was them. I began to cry again at the thought of their frozen bodies.

"Meredith… I want to apologize for hitting you last night. It was out of line and I never meant to hurt you. I was just becoming frustrated at the fact you were being so stubborn."

"I forgive you, Harry."

"Do you really?"

"Yes. No point in wasting time being angry at you. Life is too short."

"That it is…"

After a minute of awkward silence, I asked, "Have you seen James anywhere?"

"I'm afraid he is still unaccounted for, as far as I know." he answered, not making eye contact with me.

"Oh…" I looked away from him. What if James wasn't here? He had to be though, right? He would have gotten right onto a boat. I'm sure of it… He had to….

"Don't worry, Merry. We'll find him."

Another officer approached us. I could tell that by his uniform, which was wrinkled. He looked disheveled, but still attempting to seem unfazed.

Harry stood up, "Mr. Lightoller. It's good to see you've made it out alright."

"You too, Harold." the too men shook hands.

"This is my sister, Meredith." he introduced me, and we shook hands.

"Very nice to meet you, miss." he said kindly, "Harold, the surviving officers are having a meeting for a few minutes, just to discuss a few things. We need you to come."

"Sure. Would you mind if I brought my sister along? I don't want to leave her alone."

"That'll be fine." he said, and we followed him to a stateroom where two other men sat. They stood up as I entered the room.

"Meredith, this is Third Officer Pitman, and Fourth Officer Boxhall. Men, this is my sister, Meredith Lowe." Harry said, and I shook their hands and we all sat down.

"First of all, I'd like to express how grateful I am to see that you are all alive and well after last night's events. And I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the men and women who we've lost."

We all bowed our heads slightly and remained silent.

"We lost Captain Smith. He was a good and honorable captain who went down with his ship. We also lost Chief Officer Wilde, and First Officer Murdoch. Possibly Sixth Officer Moody as well, seeing as nobody has been able to locate him."

My heart jumped into my throat.

"Charles," Harold spoke up, "What are the chances of us finding him on this ship?"

"I'd say not good, Lowe. All of the lifeboats we had were picked up by the Carpathia, along with every passenger and crew member to survive. He wouldn't be able to survive in the water at this point. If he isn't on this ship, then I'm afraid that would mean he perished as well."

"He must be on the ship! He must be!" I cried out. I couldn't contain it.

Harold put his arm around me. "Mer," he said soothingly, "Calm down, please. I'll do whatever I can to find him. Try to stay positive."

I was shaking now, and all the men in the room had their eyes on me, looking bewildered.

"Miss Lowe, what is going on?" Officer Lightoller asked worriedly.

"Nothing." I answered with a shaky voice and I fled the room.

Harold came after me, and when I stopped in the middle of the hall when I was overcome by tears and a flood of anxiety, I could feel his arms around me. "Shh…" he tried to quiet my sobs, "Merry, it's going to be alright. I promise you."

"You find him, Harry!" I screamed between sobs, "You find him, and you bring him back to me!"

"I promise you, I'll do my best to find out any information I can about him." he was softly stroking my hair.

I sniffled, "Thanks, Harry."

Officer Lightoller stood in the hallway, "Excuse me, Harold, but we have a few issues to discuss. We need you to rejoin us."

"Would you please excuse me for a few moments? I need to walk my sister to where my Aunt is staying. She is very distraught and in need of my assistance."

"But, Harold, this is important." Officer Lightoller urged.

"Family comes first, Charles." he said, which caused me to smile slightly. He placed his hand on my back and led me down the hall.

We saw Aunt Gwen opening a door and she looked over to see us walking. She stopped and approached us. "Oh, Meredith. Are you alright, dear?" she asked. This time I actually felt sincerity.

"Yes, Aunt Gwen, I'm fine…" I said emotionlessly. "I'd just like to lay down for a while."

"Sure, come right in." she opened the door and led me to a bed. "Just lay right here and relax."

I slipped between the sheets, and Harold came over and tucked me in as if I were a little girl again. "Thank you, Harry." I whispered.

He gave me a smile and a kiss on the forehead.

The warmth of the sheets was so wonderful. I was still wearing the same blue beaded dress from last night, and it was dry now. I wished for new clothing. Perhaps I'd find some later. But for now, I was exhausted from crying so hard and my eyes were sore. I quickly drifted off to sleep.

I awoke later to find the room was now dark. I had that groggy feeling of waking up after a long slumber. I pulled the blankets off of me and stood up. There was a plain, light green dress hanging up on the wardrobe that wasn't there before. Iris entered the room holding a cup of tea. "Oh, Miss Meredith. You're awake." she handed me the tea. "I figured you would be awaking soon, so I fetched you something warm to drink. If you hadn't woken I probably would have drank it myself." she laughed for a slight moment.

"You can drink it, Iris. I don't need it." I held it out towards her.

She took the mug graciously. "Thank you, Miss. A warm cup of tea will surely warm my bones." she smiled, taking a sip. She then put the cup down and went over to the green dress in the corner. "We must get you out of that dress."

She unhooked the back of my old dress and took it off, and then threw this new one over my head. The light green fabric was soft, and it had sleeves that went down to my elbows. There were tiny white flowers embroidered onto the bottom and the ends of the sleeves.

"The passengers of the Carpathia have been donating clothing to the survivors. Some kind woman gave us this for you. It fits well, and I'm sure it is more comfortable than that other dress you've been stuck in all day."

"Yes, it is better." I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was unkempt and looked ratty. I could smell the scent of salt water in my locks. My blue eyes now appeared to be a dull bluish grey.

Iris began to brush my hair.

"I thought my aunt gave you off so you could rest?"

She made eye contact with me through the mirror and smiled, "She did. I just thought I'd be nice. I heard you had a rough day. Plus I can't just sit about and do nothing."

"Thank you."

She put my hair up in a comfortable and simple bun, which I was thankful for.

"What time is it?" I asked, having no idea what hour of night it was.

"It's after eleven. You slept the day away."

After Iris left a few minutes later, I went up to the deck to walk around. The night was cold, and for a moment I thought I was back on the Titanic.

I saw a man leaning with his back against the railing. He was staring down at his shoes, not moving. As I looked closer I realized it was Spencer again.

I didn't approach him. I stood by another section of railing and stared out into the ocean. How could something so beautiful have killed so many? Why did the sea have to take my friends from me?

A felt a tap on my shoulder and turned. Spencer had found me.

"How are you holding up?" I asked him.

He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Not so good." I was thinking of something to say when he added, "My father is gone too…"

"Oh, I'm so sorry." I reached out my arm and placed it on his shoulder.

"It's fine. Adam and my father died as men. And Clarissa, God rest her soul, is at least with Adam now, in a place where nobody can take away their love and their happiness."

"What about her unborn child? It will never get a chance at life…"

"It is very unfortunate. I had hoped they would have gotten married. She would have been a wonderful sister-in-law. Her child could have been my nephew. I would have accepted them, even if my mother wouldn't."

"Speaking of your mother, how is she doing?" "Well I couldn't get her to take any supper, but she's gone to bed. Some rest ought to do her some good. She laid there for a bit, calling out their names. She's really torn up over this, as am I. I'm just trying to act strong, you know? For my family."

I was quiet. I wanted to say something to cheer him up, but could come up with nothing.

"I really miss him. I never thought I'd actually miss my little brother this much," he chuckled for a moment, as if remembering something from long ago, "But now that he's gone, it's hard to deal with it. I actually miss all the times he annoyed me."

"I wish I'd gotten to know him better. He was a sweet guy. I mean, did you see how he dealt with the news about Clarissa and that affair? Most men would shut her out of their life. But he wanted to help her and be with her."

"He was always a hopeless romantic. When he was little he always used to say how one day he'd meet the perfect girl, and he'd treat her like an angel. My mother would tell him that she'd find a good first class girl for him, but he'd argue he wanted to meet somebody on his own. And he did. The only thing really keeping me together right now is the fact that he was happy in the end, and he's with Clarissa now in a place nobody can stop them."

"Their love found a way." My eyes were tearing a bit, but I smiled at the thought of Adam and Clarissa finally able to be together without judgement.

He gestured me to go sit on a bench, and I did. He sat beside me. "So you'll be going to your aunt's home in New York City?"

"Yes. I've never been there before. Never actually left Wales, so this should be interesting. You'll be going to New Hampshire, right?"

"That was the plan. I'm not sure my mother is ready to go back home without my father and brother. Your aunt has actually invited us to stay with her for awhile. And I think my mother accepted."

"So you'll be staying with me?"

"Yes." he smiled, "We can stay up late and invade the fridge and talk about men!" he squealed in a fake way.

I found myself laughing uncontrollably. "And we can discuss how we like to wear our hair, and what is in the latest fashion magazines."

He chuckled so much that he ended up snorting. Which only resulted in more laughter. "The reason I'm so excited to get off this ship now is because I can't wait to spend all the time possible with my best friend, Merry."

"It will be fun." I grinned, and our eyes locked for what felt like hours, but in reality was only seconds. I averted my view to my lap, "Perhaps we should go back to our rooms. It is late."

"No, please don't leave me." he pleaded, grabbing my arm. "I don't want to be alone right now. I've lost most of my family…"

"Alright." I couldn't just leave him by himself. He was right. He did lose two out of the three people in his family. He needed a friend right now, and at the moment I was the only friend he had. He rested his head on my shoulder, and I put my arm around him, and stroked his hair. He soon fell asleep right there, and instead of waking him up, I fell asleep too, on that bench on the deck. If James found us like this, I'm sure he'd understand. I couldn't wait to see him. Oh how I hoped Harold had found him. I couldn't think about this anymore, I just wanted to go back to sleep. And that's exactly what I did.

My eyes opened slowly, and I covered them with my hand because the morning sunlight was so bright. I could feel Spencer stirring next to me. His head lifted off my shoulder, and he stretched his arms overhead while yawning. "Good morning, Merry."

"Good morning, Spencer." I stood up and straightened myself up. My back was aching from sleeping in a sitting position on a bench.

There were a few people walking around or sitting, having light morning discussions. A lot of the survivors didn't look sad, and they didn't look hysterical. They were more in shock than anything. They all seemed to simply not know what to do with themselves.

"Would you like to go track down some tea with me?" he asked, and I accepted this offer. We went inside and to the dining room, where we saw a steward pass, "Excuse me, sir, are you busy?" Spencer asked, and the man shook his head timidly, "Could you bring us two cups of tea?" the young steward nodded and ran off.

"I'm still waiting for information about my friend Emma. She was a stewardess. Also James is still unaccounted for, last I heard…"

"I'm sorry to hear that. And I actually do mean that. I hope they find him alive."

"Me too."

The steward returned with two steaming mugs of tea, which we took and sipped. "How about we find a list? We can check and see if that girl's name is on there."

Before I could answer, he had already grabbed my arm and was dragging me off to the deck again, where we saw a steward with a list, surrounded by a few women.

We waited a few minutes, listening to a few of the woman lament, and a few become overjoyed. Once they were all gone, we approached the steward. "Excuse me, sir. I was wondering if I might trouble you for a name." He nodded, so I continued, "A young stewardess by the name of Emma Winfield."

He shook his head, "No survivors by that name, Miss. I'm sorry. Although I do think a body may have been recovered and identified by that name. Some blonde stewardess who froze to death in the boat."

I almost started crying. Spencer spoke up, "Is there anyplace we can see the body?"

"I'm not sure. I think they've been keeping the few recovered bodies packed in ice in one of the holds. You'll have to ask a sailor about that."

"Spence, I'm not sure if I want to actually see my friend's frozen corpse!" I yelled at him irritably.

He looked to the steward, "Are you sure that was the name of the body?"

The man flipped to a page in his list. "Yes, it's right here. 'Emma Louise Winfield. Age 19. Stewardess. From Liverpool.' That's the identification given to us by some of the other surviving stewardesses. If any of that matches your friend, then I'm sorry, Miss. She's gone."

I turned and tried to hide my tears. Another dear friend of mine was gone. "Thank you." Spencer said and turned to me. "Do you want to ask about James?" he asked.

"No. Harold is looking for him. Any news, I want to hear from him."

"Go sit down for a bit. I'll join you in a second." I found a deck chair and sat, while watching him walk away.

Emma was gone. I had tried to save her. If we hadn't gotten separated, she could be here right now. At least her body is on the ship, and her family would have something to bury. Oh my… Her family… Her mother is dying, and there is nobody to take care of all her siblings. Perhaps I could find out where they live and send them some money. It's the least I could do for her.

Spencer returned, looking like somebody had punched him in the gut.

"Spence! What happened?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just asking that steward about a friend of mine. He's been lost." he spoke nervously.

I embraced him, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." he sat down on a chair next to me. He was speechless.

"Who was he?"

"Oh… He was a friend. A friend of mine." he was stuttering worriedly, which was making me suspicious.

"What was his name?"

"Uh. His name… It was Frank." he hesitated a little, which made me wonder if he actually was telling the truth.

"You're lying." I looked him straight in the eye until he looked away.

"No, I'm not. I just lost a friend of mine. How dare you accuse me of lying?"

"Because I know you are. Now what's really going on?"

He didn't answer, and I saw Harold approaching. His hat was in his hands as he walked over to me.

"Harold!" I jumped up from the deck chair.

"Meredith, sit down, please." he said in a regretful tone.

I remained standing. "James is dead, Harry, isn't he?" he spoke I a voice stronger than I would have believed I could muster.

"Mer, sit." he spoke in a commanding voice.

"No. Just tell me, Harry. Just say it. Tell me what I'm sure I already know." I said, now becoming hysterical and unable to control it.

"Sit down now, Meredith!" he yelled irritably, tossing his hat on the ground.

I sat, and Spencer put his arm around me. Harold knelt down beside me and took my hands. "Merry, I've looked everywhere. I've searched this whole ship, and I've spoken to every person I can. James isn't here. He's gone, Mer. I'm sorry. I really am." his voice broke, "He was a good friend of mine. So young. And he meant so much to you. I'd do anything to bring him back for you, Mer. If that were possible."

I swallowed a cry, "It's fine, Harry."

"Are you going to be alright, Mer?" he asked worriedly, stoking the back of my hand with his thumb.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Perhaps you should go lay down. You should-"

"I said I'm fine, Harold!" I snapped, causing him to flinch.

I turned to Spencer. "You were lying. There is no Frank. You asked the steward about James, didn't you?"

"Yes." he hung his head down. "I'm sorry. I would have told you, but you said you only wanted to hear it from Harold."

"I have to go." I stood up, as did Harold and Spencer.

"Where?" my brother asked.

"I don't know. Anywhere but here." I could feel more tears welling up inside my lids. I walked away quickly before either of them could notice.

"Meredith!" I could hear them both yelling. "Please, come back!"

I didn't listen to them. I didn't want to. I just wished to run away and go somewhere to be alone with my thoughts. I stopped by the stern of the ship, and leaned on the railing. Oh cruel and vile ocean… You've taken four people from me. Adam, Clarissa, Emma, and James. All gone… I'd only known them for a few days, but I was hurting as if I had known them a lifetime. My heart was torn, and I don't think I'd ever felt so alone in my life. Except for the day my brother left. Now I had him back, but I lost so many others. Oh, beautiful ocean… Cruel ocean… Merciless ocean…. Why would you tear these four from me? Why?

* * *

_Thanks for reading chapter 8. Now that James, Emma, Clarissa, and Adam are all dead, what is Meredith going to do? You'll have to keep reading to find out. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you're looking forward to the next one. I'm working on chapter 9 right now. Thank you. Reviews are appreciated. Tehehee. Love, Kelly._


	9. Chapter IX

**_Overprotective_**

**_Chapter IX_**

My heart was aching. I know that a few days is not enough time to fall in love, and I was not in love. I had an attraction to James, and I had feelings for him. There was certainly potential for it to have turned into a love, if he were not dead now.

I stayed in my room for the remainder of the voyage to New York. Iris came in with tea, and with more borrowed clothing. We didn't speak. Aunt Gwen would try to talk to me, but I would shoo her away. Harold and Spencer dropped in occasionally over the two days to sit with me, but I wouldn't converse with them either. I just wanted to be alone.

Aunt Gwen walked into the room, and pulled back my blankets. Iris was following her. "Come on. Get up, Meredith. We can see New York."

I sat up. "What day is it?"

"It's Thursday. April 18th. You've spent the past two days locked in here. Now it's time to leave. You can't stay cooped up in this room forever."

Oh but I wish I could. Aunt Gwen left, and Iris stayed to help me get ready. She helped to dress me in a long sleeved white blouse and a black skirt. She pulled my hair back into a neat ponytail and let it flow over my left shoulder. My eyes looked dead and puffy, so Iris lightly applied make up to my face to make me appear more alive than I felt.

Aunt Gwen entered, "Are you ready?"

"Yes, ma'am." I spoke softly, and followed her from the room.

"Iris returned the clothing we've borrowed and thanked them for you, and the outfit you're wearing now they said you may keep seeing as you'll be disembarking in it."

The three of us made our way to the top deck, only to find it was raining. I could see land ahead of us. Something I hadn't seen in a long time.

"Ugh, this weather is disgusting." My aunt complained, staying indoors where most of the people were. I walked out into the rain. "Meredith. Get back inside." my aunt hissed.

I ignored her, and took a few more steps before stopping. I could see the most beautiful thing I think I've seen in a while. It was what I heard was called the Statue of Liberty. My friend's brother sent a letter home about how he first saw it on his way to America and to him it was a beautiful maiden of freedom, welcoming him into the land of opportunities. He was so excited about his new home, until he came down with a fever, and an illness followed that killed him.

The statue was inspiring, reaching her torch to the heavens. She was entirely green, clad in a flowing robe, and a pointed crown was upon her head. It was a lovely sight. A sight that I don't think I could ever forget.

"She's a beaut', isn't she?" I heard and looked to my side. There was Spencer, looking up at the statue just as I had been.

"Yes, she's magnificent." I responded, and he smiled to me. I grinned back, and we both continued to stare up at the statue in awe, like two fascinated schoolchildren.

"So are you feeling any better now?" he asked, moving his eyes to me.

"Yes, I suppose. Not entirely, but of course who out of anyone here could feel completely well and normal yet?"

"I know I'm not better yet at all. I'm hurting pretty bad inside, but I'm just hiding it better, I guess."

"Things are going to be very different."

"Change is a part of life, as is death. It's things we just have to deal with, and we have to keep on living."

"I already knew my life was changing from the moment I heard my aunt discussing with my parents that she wished to bring me to America with her. But I had no idea I would make friends and lose friends in such a short amount of time. I didn't know that my heart would be torn in so many different directions so quickly."

"Put your heart at rest. Things should calm down. I hope."

"I hope so too. I wish I were back home in Wales, in my own bed, listening to my mother's knitting needles click together to a steady beat."

"If you'd like, I could stay up and tap some knitting needles together for you." he said jokingly.

I couldn't help but smile at this attempt. "Thanks, but no thanks. I think I'll be fine." I looked to the statue again, "So this is really New York?"

"Yes. Your new home."

"Our new home. You're staying with us for a while, remember?"

He nodded. "I think we'll be getting off of this ship soon."

And he was right. Soon enough we were nearing the pier. There were flashbulbs in every direction as reporters took photographs and shouted questions. How insensitive could the media get? There were literally thousands of people awaiting the arrival of the Carpathia. I've never seen so many people in one place at once. It was almost hard to believe there could be so many people in one city. This certainly wasn't going to be anything like home.

Spencer followed me inside to my aunt, and I saw Mrs. Welch beside her, looking ill.

"Mother, are you feeling alright today?" Spencer asked, taking her hand.

Her colorless lips moved as very little as she answered emotionlessly, "Yes, dear. I'm fine."

"That's good." he said, not actually believing her, but taking her answer anyway.

"Spencer, do go fetch your father and Adam for me. We're going to be leaving soon I hear." she said in a voice that suggested she was mentally far away.

"Katharina," Aunt Gwen hesitated for a moment, and then explained, "Vernon and your son are gone."

"Where have they gone off to?"

"They've perished, ma'am. They went down with the Titanic three days ago." I blurted out, hating to be the one to say it now.

"Oh…. That's right…." Trina Welch sniffled. "My boy… My baby, Adam… I was terrible to him the last time we spoke. I hope he knows I love him."

"He knows." Spencer answered.

Trina grabbed onto her son's shoulder and cried into it, and he wrapped his arms around her gently. She was so thin and frail looking, that she looked almost like a child in Spencer's arms.

"And that girl. She died too, right?" she asked, with her face still pressed into her son's shoulder.

I gulped, "Yes. Clarissa is dead."

Mrs. Welch seemed to be in denial. She didn't want to believe any of it, so she made herself forget. I wished I could forget, because I too didn't want to believe any of this. I wished it was never real.

I saw my brother walking through the door from the deck.

"Merry," he came to me, "Are you feeling any better? You've been shut up in that room for days. I missed you."

"You've been away for fifteen years. I don't think you could have missed me too badly after only two days."

"I did miss you, Mer. And now that I have you back in my life, I don't want to lose you."

"You won't. Will you be staying in New York for a bit with us?"

"There's rumors circulating around the crew of a possible US Senate inquiry. I might be forced to stay in the country for a while. If so, I'm probably going to be in a hotel."

I turned to my aunt. "Aunt Gwen, what's your address?"

She asked a man for a slip of paper, and Harold pulled a pen from his pocket so she could write it down for him.

"Thanks, Gwen." he folded it carefully and placed it in his pocket.

"Come visit me, please." I begged him.

"I'll try to."

"I'm going to be in a strange city, with people I've only known for days. I don't even know Aunt Gwen that well."

"It'll be fine. I'll visit as often as possible."

"Good." I hugged him tightly.

"Meredith, I've wired your parents a two days ago to let them know we're safe." Aunt Gwen said, "Also I've arranged for somebody to come meet us here when we dock."

"Who?" I asked curiously.

"You'll see when you disembark." she smiled.

I nodded and turned back towards my brother. "Have you ever been to New York before?"

"No, actually. The Titanic was the first time I've ever been on the North Atlantic route between Europe and New York. So this will be both of our first times here."

"We're Lowe's. We can do anything. We'll take this city by storm."

He chuckled. "Yes, we will."

Soon enough, the ship stopped at the pier, and first class passengers were told to prepare for disembarkation. Trina Welch, Spencer, Aunt Gwen, Iris, and myself all stuck together closely as we were all let to the gangway. As soon as the gangplank was attached, we were told we may leave. There was no pushing or shoving. Everyone was solemn and quiet as they walked one by one down the gangplank into the curious mob. I could see it was a sea of flashbulbs and spectators. As the first survivors disappeared into the crowd, I heard a barrage of reporters' questions, more flashbulbs, some crying, and some sighing of relief.

Spencer put his hand on my back, "It's our turn." he said softly, and led me down the gangplank behind my aunt, her maid, and his mother.

Strangely everything seemed like slow motion, yet at the same time it was all a blur. We stepped off the gangplank and entered the crowd.

"Miss, are you a Titanic survivor?" one man with a notebook yelled at me.

"Excuse me, sir," another yelled to Spencer, "How did you survive?"

"Ma'am, have you lost anybody?" another reported yelled to Mrs. Welch.

We all ignored the reporters and pushed our way through.

"Miss, would you please answer a few questions?" a reporter was asking me, following me with a notebook as I walked. "Miss?" he asked when I didn't respond.

"No." I answered softly.

"Please, it would only take a moment of your time-"

"She said no, alright?!" Spencer turned to him and yelled. "Now please, leave us alone. Good day." and we continued on.

We made it to the edge of the crowd to an area where hundreds of cars were parked.

"Oh, I do hope we're able to find him…" Aunt Gwen muttered worriedly.

"Find who?" I asked, and soon enough my question was answered. I saw a dark haired man approaching. His facial hair was dark and full, and he held onto the hand of a small five year old girl whose hair was also dark, and her eyes were brown like her fathers. I recognized them immediately and ran to them. "Arthie!" I threw my arms around him, and he hugged me too.

"Hello, Meredith." he smiled.

I bent down and hugged the girl. "Jenny, you've gotten bigger again I see."

"Yes. Daddy says I'm going to be tall like him one day, Auntie Merry." she responded cheerfully.

Aunt Gwen, Iris, Mrs. Welch, and Spencer joined us a few seconds later.

"Hello, Arthur, dear. How are you?" Aunt Gwen asked.

"I'm doing very well, Aunt Gwen."

"That's good. Trina, Spencer, this is my nephew, Arthur Lowe. He's Meredith's eldest brother. He's been in New Jersey with his wife and daughter for a few months now, and I've arranged for him to meet us here and drive us back to my home."

"Nice to meet you." Spencer said, stretching his hand towards him, and they shook. Mrs. Welch stayed silent.

"This is his daughter, Jenny." Aunt Gwen introduced the young girl standing beside her father, once again clutching his hand.

I bent down and picked her up as she giggled.

"Oh, Jenny, I've missed you!" I raised her up and spun around in circles.

"Auntie Merry, it's only been seven months since we moved to America." she said in the typical cute childlike voice.

"Yes, but that's much too long for me to have to not see your faces, dearie." I set her down.

"We should probably get out of here. It'll be madness trying to get out of here." Aunt Gwen announced. "I've arranged for two of my cars to be sent for us."

"They're right over here." Arthur led us to them.

Spencer, myself, Arthur, and Jenny climbed into one, and Aunt Gwen, Trina Welch, and Iris climbed into the other. We were soon on our way through the crowded New York streets.

"How long are you going to be here?" I asked my brother.

"Jenny and I are planning to leave tomorrow night. We have to return to our farm."

"Oh, yes, how is the farm?"

"We've got cows!" Jenny said excitedly which caused me to laugh.

"Cows? Really? What are they like?" I asked her.

"They're white with black spots and they eat grass and go moo!"

We all burst into laughter. I loved my little niece. I used to play with her everyday when my brother and his wife still lived in Wales.

"Arthur, how's Sarah? I haven't seen her in so long."

"She's doing well. She's befriended a lot of women in the town, so she's hopefully not too lonely with Jenny and I gone right now. And I've actually got some good news. She's pregnant." he smiled broadly.

"Oh, Arthur, that's wonderful! How far along?"

"She's about six months. We should be expecting the little one in July." he explained.

Then Jenny, smiling, said "I'm going to be a big sister!"

"You'll be a wonderful big sister, Jenny." I said assuringly.

"So who is he?" Arthur asked, pointing to Spencer.

"This is my friend, Spencer Welch. He and his mother are coming to stay with us for a bit while they recover from…" I stopped, remembering.

"The sinking?" Arthur asked, trying to finish my sentence.

I nodded.

"I lost my father and my younger brother." Spencer explained solemnly.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Arthur sounded sincere. "Meredith, you didn't lose anybody, right?"

"I made five new friends. Four of them are now dead." I replied softly, staring at my lap. "I also found Harold. He's fine. Not sure where he's going though."

"I know about that. And I think he and the crew are spending the night at a hotel for seamen here in the city. I'm going there tomorrow to have a word with him."

"May I go with?" I asked. I wished to be part of this small reunion.

"Sure. We'll go right after breakfast."

The ride to Aunt Gwen's took about a half house, but soon enough we pulled up to two tall black metal gates which were opened and we drove slowly up the driveway until we reached the house. This didn't even look like a house to me. It seemed more like a castle. The walls were grey stone and it stood about three stories high. I'd never seen a house this large back in Wales. And to think, this was going to be my new home.

We all hopped out of the car, and climbed the few steps to the front door. It was opened by a meek looking maid. "Welcome back, Ma'am." said the frail middle aged woman stepping aside as we walked in.

"Thank you, Janice." Aunt Gwen responded, and then ushered us into the sitting room. "Iris, you have a week off to recuperate."

"Thank you kindly, Ma'am." she curtsied and left.

"Janice," Aunt Gwen called and the meek maid appeared, "Please take my niece, her friend, my nephew, and his daughter upstairs to the guest rooms and help them with anything they need."

"Yes, Ma'am." Janice motioned for us all to follow her up the stairs.

Once upstairs, Janice pointed to three doors.

I picked the first, Spencer chose the one next to mine, and that left Arthur and Jenny with the third. Mrs. Welch, whenever she came up, would end up with the fourth room.

I shut the door behind me and laid down on the bed. I had nothing to unpack since I hadn't any possessions left. I had lost my journal, all my new clothes, and every item I had brought with me. I'd be starting over again in a new city with none of my old things. I was a new person. Nothing tying me to the past except for my memories now. I fell onto the bed, my face against the sheets. The silence was welcoming, but it once again sent me back to the thoughts I had attempted to push out of my mind for a bit. James, Clarissa, Adam, and Emma were all gone. No more good times laughing with Adam or Clarissa, or having heart to heart discussions with Emma. And no more secret meetings with James that would make my heart flutter wildly. I began to cry at the thought.

The door was opened and Janice entered, noticing my tears, "Oh, dear, Miss. I'm sorry. I'll just leave you be. I brought you some extra blankets, and I came to see if you were in need of anything. Anything I can do for you before I go?"

I still had my face pressed into the sheets, so my reply came out muffled. "No, I'm fine. Thank you."

I heard the door slowly shutting when I popped my head up and called, "Janice! Wait!"

The door opened fully again. "Yes, Miss?"

I wiped at my tears with the palms of my hands. "Could you ask that young man in the room beside mine to come here for a minute. I wish to speak to him."

"Surely." Janice answered and then left.

I didn't want to be alone right now. I needed someone to be here. Even if we didn't speak. Just having somebody sit here who was in the same, if not worse, pain than I was.

"She wishes to speak to you, Sir." I heard Janice whisper outside my door, and the light coming from the hallway was once again blocked by a body. I looked to see Spencer standing in my doorway. His eyes were puffy and he looked like he'd been crying just as heavily as I was now.

Without speaking, he approached me, and sat down on the side of my bed. I swung my legs around to the side of the bed and sat beside him.

He wrapped his arms around me, and began to cry on my shoulder. He was hurting, and this was something I understood all too well at the moment. We shared a sort of silent understanding. I knew his pain, and he knew mine. I wished with every piece of me that I could take it away.

"Meredith…" he said softly and lifted his head off my shoulder to look at me.

"Yes?" I turned my face to him.

"You're pretty much all I have right now." I was silent as he went on, "I don't have my father. I don't have my brother. I don't have a wife or children. My mother is probably never going to be the same as she was. All of my other family is way too far away. I didn't have too many close friends. I've felt pretty alone these past few days. Except for when I've been with you. I don't feel so alone. You're my best friend, Mer. You're all I got."

"You're my best friend too, Spence. I'm in a completely new place with completely new people. And I feel like out of everybody, you probably understand me best. Nobody else in this house knows me like you do."

"Please don't leave me alone, Mer. I can't stand to be alone." I could feel his hold on me tighten.

"I won't leave you alone, Spencer. You can stay in here if you'd like. You can take the bed and I'll sleep in the chair in the corner."

"No, I'll take the chair. I'm the gentleman, and that's where I want to be. I'm just happy to not be alone tonight." he kissed me on the cheek. "By the way, that was a friendly kiss. In case you were wondering." he smiled innocently.

I smiled back. "Now let's get some sleep." He went over to the chair. I made sure the door was wide open so it would in no way seem improper. I took one of the extra blankets Janice had brought in for me and I draped it over him. He was seemingly asleep, but I saw his eyelids open slightly and then quickly close as he saw me looking at him. He was awake, and just pretending.

I went to my bed and pulled back the sheets gingerly before crawling between them. It felt so good to lay down again. It wasn't long before I fell fast asleep.

* * *

_Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than the others. They are all now in New York at Aunt Gwen's house. Arthur is Meredith's oldest brother, as was mentioned, and Jenny is his daughter. In case anyone missed that. Thank you for reading chapter 9. Chapter 10 will be up as soon as I finish writing it. Please review. It'll make me very happy. Thanks. -Kell._


	10. Chapter X

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter X**_

"Spencer!" I woke up to the shrill scream of Mrs. Welch. "Where's my son?!" I could hear her going down the hallway. "Spencer!"

I jumped out of bed and made it to the doorway just as she did. "Meredith, have you seen my son? He's gone and I can't find him!" she said so quickly I could barely understand her.

"He's-" I began to say until she interrupted me.

"I need my son!"

"He's right here, Mrs. Welch!" I said a tad irritably, stepping aside.

Spencer was still in the chair, looking like he'd just woken up. "Mother? What's going on?"

Mrs. Welch pushed me aside and ran into the room. "What on earth is going on?"

"I didn't want to be alone, so Meredith kindly allowed me to sleep in the chair." he explained.

"The door has been open the entire time and he stayed in the chair just as I stayed in my bed. Nothing improper occurred at all."

"I must go lie down." Mrs. Welch said and left.

Spencer stood up and hung the blanket over the back of the chair. "I should go."

"Yes, you probably should." I said softly.

He headed for the door, "Thank you."

I smiled at him, and he left.

I turned on the lights and sat down on my bed. In the corner was a dark wooden wardrobe and the door was opened slightly. Last night it hadn't been. I went to it cautiously, and opened the door to find a few lovely dresses and some simple outfits. I knew Aunt Gwen must have arranged this.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in." I called as I was too busy admiring the different colors and fabrics.

I turned to see an older woman. "Good morning, Miss. My name is Tracy. Your aunt sent me up here to assist you in getting ready."

She helped me into a simple dark blue dress and she put my brown locks up into a bun. She went very light on my make-up, which made me look very natural.

"Thank you, Ma'am." I said while staring at myself in the mirror.

She quickly left as soon as she was finished, and I decided to go downstairs. Once in the main hall I had no idea which way to go. Janice, the maid from last night, was passing by with an arm full of laundry. "Excuse me," I tapped her on the shoulder and she turned to me with a frightened expression, "Which way is the kitchen?"

"The kitchen is down the hall to the left, but I believe you're looking for the dining room. Only staff belongs in the kitchen. That'd be the room right next to it." she pointed.

"Thank you." I went down the hall and to the left and saw two doorways, only one covered with a door. The doorless room was the dining room which I entered to see Aunt Gwen sitting there, enjoying a cup of tea.

"Oh, Meredith, dear. Good to see you up. What was all that screaming about upstairs?" she asked while lifting her cup for another sip.

I took to a deep breath and walked around the table to the chair beside her. "That was Mrs. Welch. She couldn't find Spencer and she was becoming frantic. She can't imagine losing another son. The thought absolutely terrifies the poor woman, I can tell."

"And where was the boy?" she asked.

"Well, last night we were talking. He didn't want to be alone, so I allowed him to sleep in the chair in my room." I watch Aunt Gwen's facial expression turn to an angry one. "He stayed in the chair, and I in my bed. The door was open all night as well. Nothing inappropriate happened at all. Please, believe me Aunt Gwen." I explained in a fast, begging tone.

"I believe you. Just don't let it happen again." she then gestured for a maid in the room to come to her. "Please get a cup of tea for my niece. Meredith, how do you like it?" They turned to me.

"With a lemon. That'll be fine." I answered, and the maid nodded, proceeding to fetch my tea.

"So I hear you and Arthur will be going to visit Harold today?"

"Yes. He would like to see him before he leaves for New Jersey tonight."

"Very well. Just do not be out too late, and please be careful. You haven't even been in the country for a full day."

"I'll be very careful, Aunt Gwen. Plus I'll have Arthur with me, and I'll probably drag Spencer with me as well. Plenty of protection."

The maid reappeared to place a steaming cup in front of me, and then went back to the kitchen.

Spencer appeared in the room and took a seat beside me. "My mother is too ill to come down. She'd rather stay in bed."

"If that's what she wishes, that is alright with me. I'll sent someone up to check on her later." Aunt Gwen stated.

Arthur came down next, carrying Jenny up high like she was flying. He even made a few whooshing noises for him, and she was giggling uncontrollably. He set her down by the table. "Mer, we'll go in a little bit. I asked Aunt Gwen if we could borrow one of her cars to get there. Are you ready?"

"Yes, I am." I turned to Spencer, "Would you like to join us?"

"I have nothing better to do." he answered. We rose from the table, and I took one last sip of my tea before we left the dining room.

Arthur led us outside to the driveway and there was a large garage as big as my house back home was. We entered and saw the same car as yesterday. The driver walked in, and promptly opened the door for me, taking my hand to help me up. He did the same for Jenny, and Spencer and Arthur entered on their own. Soon we were off, into the city, and down by the pier where we were just last night.

There was a five story tall brick building. It was unmarked, except for a broken sign in the front that said "All Sailors Welcome!"

The four of us entered, and saw a receptionist who looked insanely busy and frazzled. We approached her just as she hung up the phone. "What do you want?" she asked rudely.

"We're looking for the Titanic's crew. We heard they'd be staying here." Arthur explained.

"Yeah, you and everybody else. We have senators, reporters, and curious citizens wandering in here asking to see the crew. The phones are ringing off the hook. I can't take any more of this." she rambled irritably.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I only wanted to see my brother, Harold Lowe. He was the fifth officer." Arthur said, and smiled kindly at the lady. "Please let me see him."

"Alright. Go ahead. They're on the second and third floors. Go check there." she pointed to the stairs to the right of the desk.

"Thank you." her muttered and we all headed up to the second floor and scanned the room. There were hundreds of cots in lines, and the room was crowded by sailors everywhere, looking disheveled and bored.

After searching for about fifteen minutes, we decided to check the next floor. It was the same scene there, and we made our way through the crowd. I held onto Jenny's tiny hand so she wouldn't get separated from us.

"I'm the fifth officer, for Christ's sake! I think I deserve my bloody pay!" I heard a familiar voice yelling. I turned towards the voice and saw my brother yelling at a man in a suit.

"There he is!" I pointed and gestured for everyone to follow, and we approached.

"Listen, Mr. Lowe, we cannot pay you until your return to England. I am sorry. It's company policy." the man explained.

"I don't understand why the White Star Line offices right here in New York can't just pay me my salary. I did my duty, and I deserve my money." I could easily see my brother was becoming very irritated.

"There is nothing I can do. You'll have to wait for the end of the inquiry to return to England and get your money." the man calmly explained. "Good day, Officer Lowe." he then walked off.

"Harry!" I called, and he turned around, and instead of seeing me, he came face to face with Arthur, and he appeared frightened.

"Hello, Harold." Arthur said calmly.

Harold studied his face for a moment. "Arthur?"

"Correct, little brother. How have you been?" Arthur asked, crossing his arms.

"I've been better." Harold answered skeptically. "You aren't going to hit me, are you?"

"What? Why would I?"

"Well, our beloved little sister here slapped me when she first saw me again."

Arthur turned to me. "You hit him?" he sounded shocked. I nodded. "Good work!" he clapped his hand on the back of my shoulder.

"Why must everybody congratulate her for this?" Harold asked bitterly.

"Who else has congratulated me on that, Harold?" I asked.

"James told me Murdoch bowed to you for it." he laughed. "Those crazy guys." his smile gradually faded. "Damn, I miss them."

I stayed quiet and looked down. Spencer, who had been standing behind me, placed his arm around my shoulders.

"How about we go get something to eat?" Arthur suggested. "Come on, Harold."

"That sounds fine, but I have no money, as you may have heard."

"It's on me. I'm buying you lunch." Arthur put his arm around Harold in a friendly way. "Let's go, Harry." he smiled.

We all left and walked down the street to a small restaurant. The room was half full, and we settled into a booth in the corner.

"So, how's mum and dad? I haven't seen them in months." Arthur asked me, while reading a menu.

"They're fine. A little sad that all of their children have left home though. Probably been frantic the past few days. I don't really know. I haven't seen them in nearly three weeks."

"Well I haven't seen them in over seven months."

Harold interjected, "Excuse me, the two of you, but I haven't seen them in over fifteen years. I can barely remember what they look like!"

"They shouldn't be too upset to have an empty nest right now. Edgar still lives right down the street, doesn't he? And George is in the next town."

"I think it's more about the fact that all of their children are grown up and don't need them so much anymore." I explained.

A waitress stopped in front of our booth. "What can I get for you all?"

I ordered a salad, and zoned out at everyone else ordered. I thought I had left my family behind in Wales, but I felt a lot more comfortable that I had family members I hadn't seen in a while here in New York with me, at least for a little while.

"So how did you manage to find each other on such a large ship?" Arthur's question was directed at Harold and I.

I thought back to that first day. "Well, I saw a few men in uniforms ahead of me on the deck. One of them looked familiar, and I asked somebody about them. They confirmed it was Harold, so I went and slapped him."

Arthur laughed.

"That hurt, you know." he commented to me, and then looked to Arthur, "She's stronger than she looks."

I smiled mischievously.

"If you don't mind me asking, what was the sinking like?"

Harold, Spencer, and I all froze and looked at each other. Who would be the one to explain it?

"It was a very tough and confusing event, Arthur. At first, we didn't know what was going on. Then as time went by and the ship listed more and more, everyone understood the Titanic was dying." I explained. "Harold told me about it, and I fought with him about filling lifeboats. It was so stupid." I laughed to myself without even meaning to, "I went to go find Spencer, and this man who did not like me very much locked me in a bathroom with Spencer. Eventually we were let out, and followed my friend Emma below decks." I forced myself to continue speaking even though the thought of the last time I saw Emma was killing me. "We lost her, and were stuck behind a gate, Spencer and I. They made me leave him." I looked to Spencer with tears in my eyes, "And I didn't want to. If he died, I would have felt responsible. I-" I couldn't keep explaining. I didn't want to remember anymore.

"Meredith, it's alright. You don't have to go on." Arthur said sympathetically.

Spencer put his arm around me. "Would you like to go out for some air?"

I nodded and then sniffled. He slid out of the booth and then took my hand to assist me in standing up. We walked out to the sidewalk and I leaned against the wall of the building.

"I'm sorry, Mer." he said while leaning on the brick wall right beside me.

"For what?"

"For making you leave me down there. It was all I could do, and it worked out fine. But I didn't mean to upset you so bad."

"It's fine. I was just so scared. The decks were sinking beneath our feet, and I had no idea where my friends were, and I had no way to help anyone. I didn't help anybody. I lost everyone."

"You didn't lose me. Or Harry. You did save somebody too. Remember that baby? She's alive now, thanks to you."

I smiled at that. "I miss everybody so much. It doesn't feel right that I'm walking around uninjured, and they're all dead. Why did I live, when their lives were much more meaningful than mine? Clarissa was going to have a baby, and she and Adam were going to run off and be married. I know it. Emma had siblings to support back home, and a dying mother to care for. And James… he was supposed to end up with me…"

"You lived because you are strong. You're meant to do great things. I'm not sure why they all died. But, I do know they are all watching us. They'd want you to be strong, Mer. You survived. Don't live your life in mourning."

"I'll try. But it's too soon, now. I need time to mourn, and then I'll begin to live again."

"We'll help each other to heal. That's what friends are for, right?" he held out his arm.

I linked arms with him, "Yes. That's what friends are for." and we walked back inside.

"So, she and this boy were having a fling?" I heard Arthur ask, and Harold nodded.

"He perished. So she's definitely going to be a bit off for a while. I've been worried about her for days."

I cleared my throat and they both looked up at me.

"Meredith! I-" Harold began to speak, but I turned away and crossed my arms.

"Save it, Harold. I'm fine, and you don't need to worry about me."

"Mer, just sit down. Please." Arthur pleaded. I sat down, and Spencer slid right next to me. I ate my salad in silence. Nobody else spoke.

How dare Harold talk about me to Arthur. How dare he just call this a fling. That makes me sound like an ignorant lovestruck child. They don't need to worry about me, because I am perfectly fine.

We dropped Harold off and returned in the car quietly back to Aunt Gwen's home. It was about five o'clock.

"How was your visit?" Aunt Gwen asked as we all walked in. I ignored her and rushed upstairs.

"It was alright." I heard Arthur answer. "I need to go pack. Jenny and I need to board the train in an hour." he, carrying Jenny, walked up the stairs behind me. I could also hear Spencer's footsteps ascending as well.

I entered my room and fell onto my bed. I gathered the sheets up around me and cried again, just as I had every night. Perhaps I was a bit off... But I didn't want any of them to know that...

_

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_

Thanks for reading. I know this chapter is shorter than the rest. I have much more planned for chapter 11 which I hope you'll read as soon as I am able to post it. This has been a pretty awful week, and I just had no will to write half the time, but I did when I could. Sorry if this isn't much. I'm working on Chapter 11 right now, and will have it up soon. Thanks. Please review. It'd really cheer me up. -Kell.


	11. Chapter XI

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter XI**_

It was now Tuesday, April 23rd. The past few days had been uneventful. I hadn't seen Harold since Friday, Mrs. Welch kept to herself, Spencer was just as broken as I am, and Aunt Gwen was just completely at a loss.

It was the afternoon, and I had just been dressed in a dark purple dress. I had been wearing dark colors all week due to mourning. I was just sitting in my room, reading a copy of Macbeth that Aunt Gwen had bought for me.

"Miss Lowe?" I heard a soft voice and a light tap at the door.

I opened it to find Tracy, the maid. "What is it?" I asked.

"Your aunt requests you in the parlor. She wishes to speak with you."

"Thank you." I shut the door. I went over to my mirror and made sure I looked presentable. I did, so I went downstairs and found the parlor.

"Meredith, please sit." Aunt Gwen gestured to the couch across the coffee table from the stuffed chair she was situated in.

I sat down slowly. "Am I in trouble?" I asked, because of the serious tone in her voice.

"No, not at all, dear. I just wanted to speak to you about something important." she snapped her fingers at a maid and the woman shut the doors and left.

"What is this all about, Aunt Gwen?"

"I think I have found a suitable match for you."

I nearly choked on the my own breath. "Excuse me? Already? I haven't even been in the country for a week!"

"Well I think this would be a very beneficial marriage for everybody."

"Who is it?" I asked.

"Trina's son, Spencer."

Once again, I choked on air. "Spencer?! You want me to marry Spencer Welch?!"

"What's so bad about that? He's handsome, wealthy, and you two are very good friends."

"Yes, we're friends. Which is exactly why I cannot marry him!" I cried.

"Meredith, wouldn't you rather be married to a friend than to a stranger?"

I was quiet as I thought about it.

She continued, "And also, think about this. His father died, and the will states that his sons must be married to receive their inheritance. He can only gain that money once he's married. And Adam's money is split between him and Trina, so he inherits even more."

"I don't care about the money, Aunt Gwen. What does Mrs. Welch think about all of this? She doesn't want to lose another son, not even to marriage, does she?"

"Actually this was her idea. She's afraid that if she loses Spencer, she'll never have grandchildren, and she can't have anymore children of her own."

"She wants me to marry her son for procreation purposes?" I asked.

"Not just that." She stood up and came to sit next to me on the couch. "Meredith, dear, think of how wonderful and inspiring this would be. Two Titanic survivors marrying. It would be pretty big news. It'd be such a happy occasion after such an awful tragedy. Plus this would make your parents and I very proud."

I thought for a moment. "Do I have to?"

"You don't have to. But we would all really like you to." she stared at me, expecting an answer now.

She lied. I did have to. Her face and her words said it all. "Fine."

"Oh, Meredith! I'm so proud of you. This is going to be wonderful, you'll see." she hugged me lightly.

Yea… I'd see, alright…

I went back up the stairs, and I saw Spencer leaving his mother's room looking a bit shocked. He smiled, shaking his head happily, until he looked up and saw me. "Oh, Merry…"

"Hello, Spencer." Instead of making eye contact, I looked at his forehead.

He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand nervously. "How are you?"

"I'm alright, I suppose. How about you?"

"Oh, I'm fine. "

"That's good." Then we both fell silent.

"I'm just going to go take a walk. Excuse me." he walked past me and down the stairs. I assumed his mother must have had the same discussion with him that my aunt had with me.

I returned to my room to continue reading.

Once I finished act three, I set the book down on the nightstand with a hair ribbon keeping my page.

I crept down the stairs and out the door. I'd heard that Titanic's crew had been moved over the weekend to a hotel only five blocks away. So down the street I walked. The weather was fairly sunny, and within ten minutes I was standing at the front steps of the hotel. I approached the receptionist, who was an old man.

"Hello, miss. How may I help you?" he asked cheerfully.

"I'm looking for my brother. He was the Titanic's fifth officer."

The man opened up a book. "Name, please?"

"Harold Lowe."

The man checked his book. "He's in room 509. Up on the fifth floor. Take the lift. It's quicker."

"Thank you." I went to the lift, and an middle aged gentleman in a suit asked me what floor I wanted. I answered the fifth, and up we went.

I found room 509, and knocked three times.

A familiar young man answered. "Oh, Miss Lowe. What brings you here?"

"Hello, Mr. Boxhall. I'm here to see my brother. Is he here?"

"Yes. He's using the loo. He'll be out any moment."

And with that, Harold appeared from the other room. "Joe, who's here?"

Mr. Boxhall stepped aside to reveal me.

"Oh, Meredith. Come in."

I walked into the room.

"I'll leave you two alone for a while. I need to go see what Lightoller is up to anyway." and Mr. Boxhall left, shutting the door behind him.

Harold sat down on one of the two beds in the room, and gestured for me to sit down next to him, so I did. "What's going on, Mer?"

I blurted it out. "Aunt Gwen has decided she would like me to marry Spencer."

"She would suggest this so soon? Is she insane? This is definitely the wrong time to rush you into marriage."

"I know! I've only been in this country since Thursday night, and I lost very close friends of mine a week ago. I'm not ready for this."

"Why does she want this?"

"Spencer will receive his inheritance when he gets married. So then I'll have money to support myself. His mother wants grandchildren soon, so she suggested I be used for procreation. And Aunt Gwen thinks we'd be a good match, plus she things it'd be a nice gimmick. Two Titanic survivors marrying…"

"She does have a point, but it is a bit ridiculous. What did Aunt Gwen say when you told her no?"

"I didn't say no. I said it'd be fine. I was nervous."

"Well then, Mer, it looks like you're engaged."

I stood up. "I didn't think I could say no. The way Aunt Gwen was staring at me, I knew it was either I do this or have her hate me forever."

"Maybe you should tell her about James. She may understand."

"Understand?" I laughed, "She'd kill me! I'd be out on my ass in a heartbeat!"

"Possibly."

I grabbed his hands. "Please, help me. I don't know what to do. I don't even know what's going on anymore."

"Meredith, there is nothing I can do." he answered calmly.

"I need to calm down, don't I?"

"Yes. Having an anxiety attack won't do any good. Just relax, then go home, and rest. Sleep on it."

"Probably the best idea. Yes, I'll go do that."

"Good." he smiled and led me to the door. "If you need me, come find me here. Except for tomorrow. It's my day to testify at the Waldorf Astoria." he rolled his eyes.

"I'll be there." I said and then proceeded to walk down the hall.

"Wait, what? Why?" he called after me.

"For support, Harry." I smiled, and entered the elevator. "Lobby, please." I told the middle aged gentleman, and he kindly obliged.

Once I made it back to Aunt Gwen's, instead of the door opening to reveal a maid, I came face to face with my aunt. "Where have you been?!" she grabbed my arm harshly and dragged me inside, slamming the heavy wooden door behind me.

"I went to go visit Harold. Is seeing my brother such a crime?"

"No, but you did not tell me where you were going. I was about to have the police out searching for you."

"Aunt Gwen, I was only gone an hour."

"I do not care. Now go up to your room. I'll send Tracy up for you when dinner is ready."

"Yes, ma'am." I ascended the stairs and went to my room. I fell asleep until it was time for dinner.

Tracy knocked on my door, and after I failed to get up and answer, she opened the door and just walked right in. "Miss Meredith, it is time for dinner."

"Thank you, Tracy." I answered, my face buried in my pillow. Once she left, shutting the door behind her, I sat up and fixed my hair. Then I proceeded down to the dining room.

Everybody was already seated, and I could see that Mrs. Welch had decided to come down and try to eat something.

"Meredith, you finally decided to join us." Aunt Gwen said in a rude tone.

"Yes, ma'am. I did." I said as politely as possible and sat in the chair beside Mrs. Welch. She looked like she was about to puke even though she was only nibbling quietly on a dinner roll.

A maid placed a plate of chicken in front of me, and I ate silently. Everyone was quiet. Once we all finished our supper, the maids brought out coffee and tea.

"Meredith, I bought you a dress to wear tomorrow night." Aunt Gwen said to me.

"A dress? For what?" I asked, feeling confused.

She took another sip of her tea. "I told you a few days ago. We're attending a gala being held by friends of mine, Mr. and Mrs. Parks in honor of Mr. Parks' birthday."

"Oh. It must have slipped my mind." I replied.

"Spencer is going too. I've gotten him a tuxedo." she stated, and turned to him, "You saw it, right? It's hanging up in your closet."

"Yes, Mrs. Quinley. Thank you." he answered, not looking up from his tea cup where he was stirring a lemon around the bottom slowly.

"Aunt Gwen?" I asked, and she looked to me, "I was wondering if I may attend the Titanic inquiry tomorrow at the Waldorf Astoria. Harold is going to be speaking and I wanted to go to support him."

"I suppose that would be fine. As long as you take Spencer with you. It wouldn't be proper for you to go out alone. Also you must be back home before five o'clock."

"I will, Aunt Gwen."

After dinner, I went up the stairs and was about to open my bedroom door when I heard Spencer call my name from behind me. "Mer? Can I talk to you?"

I stopped and turned to him. "Sure. Go ahead."

"I'm going to take a guess here and assume your aunt had the same discussion with you that my mother had with me."

"What makes you think that?"

"The fact that you know what conversation I'm talking about. Also you've been acting strange all day."

"So have you."

"Well it's an odd situation."

"What would be so odd about it, Spence? This is exactly what I came to America for. To be married off to somebody."

"So you're alright with this?"

I stayed silent, and he stared at me suspiciously, looking for a response.

"Meredith?" he asked impatiently.

"Of course." I replied as sincerely as I could muster.

He looked at me, not believing my answer, but he took it anyway. "Fine then. I guess we're engaged."

"Yes. I suppose we are. This is definitely how I dreamed of being proposed to." I stated sarcastically.

He chuckled, and then jokingly got on one knee. I laughed, pulling him back up to his feet.

Once the laughter changed into nervous giggling just to fill in the gap in the conversation, we both finally fell silent, staring at one another.

"Well… I'm off to bed. We'll have to wake up early to make it to the inquiry. I'm sure it will be packed if we don't get their early."

I nodded. "Goodnight, Spencer. See you in the morning."

"Goodnight." he leaned in and kissed my cheek, then walked down the hall to his room. This action stunned me. Not in a good way. I hurried into my room, shut the door, and fell onto my bed.

I missed James. I'd prefer to have him kissing my cheek. Not Spencer…. But James was gone, and Spencer was all I had. I still felt insanely guilty for accepting this engagement. But what could I do? Tell my aunt about James and my feelings? She'd kill me. Besides, this is what I was meant to do. I've known this since I left home. I should have been more prepared. If only my heart wasn't still aching, and on top of that it is thoroughly confused.

The next morning, I woke up, went downstairs, and silently drank a cup of tea placed in front of me. Aunt Gwen was sitting at the head of the table as usual. "Meredith, I've received a letter from your mother, and it's addressed to you." she handed me a folded paper.

I unfolded it and held it down on the table.

_Dear, Meredith, Once your father and I heard about the sinking, we were terrified. We read the newspapers everyday, hoping for some news. The moment we saw your name and Gwen's name on the survivor list we were both able to breathe a sigh of relief. I'm so grateful for your safety, as well as your Aunt Gwen's, and your brother Harold's, who we hear was also on board. If you see him, pass on our love to him. We love you, and miss you very much. Hoping all is well. Much love, your Mother._

I refolded it, and placed it under my teacup.

Spencer came downstairs soon after. "Good morning, everyone."

"Good morning, Spencer. Your mother isn't feeling up to any breakfast?" my aunt asked.

"No. She's feeling a bit under the weather again. She may come down later." Spencer answered, and then looked at the clock on the wall. "Mer, we should probably get going soon if we want to find any place to sit in the inquiry room."

"Yes, of course. Let's go. I'll be home by four, Aunt Gwen." I stood up.

"Alright. Be careful." she called as we left the room.

The driver was already waiting for us by the car, and he helped me up into the seat. Once we were in, he drove us to the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, where the hearings were taking place.

There were already people there. A few reporters setting up their cameras, and some curious bystanders. Spencer led me over to some seats in the middle of the audience section. Before long, the chairs around us had filled up and the senators entered the room to take their places up front. I saw Harold sitting with a few other men at a table in the corner. He was wearing a dark blue suit and had combed his hair back. I thought about waving, but figured it may be a bad idea.

A man gestured for the doors to the room to be closed, and then he cleared his throat. "I'd like to welcome you all to another day of the investigation into the Titanic disaster. I'm Senator William Alden Smith. Today's first witness is Harold Godfrey Lowe, fifth officer."

My brother walked up to the front of the room and sat in the seat beside the panel of senators. He looked nervous sitting up there, as they asked him questions about the way the ship was run, the sea trials, the lifeboats, etc.

"Mr. Lowe, I've heard a rumor that I wanted to take a moment to confront. Some witnesses say they saw you strike a first class woman during the loading of lifeboat number five. Is this true?" I froze in my seat. I knew it was me. Harold took a deep breath. "Yes, it is true."

"Why did you hit a passenger?"

"She was my sister, Meredith Lowe. She wouldn't get into a lifeboat like I begged her to."

"Is she here to confirm this?" Senator Smith asked.

Harold looked around and his eyes connected with mine. He hesitated, but answered truthfully, "Yes, she is in this room. She came to support me."

"Will Miss Meredith Lowe stand up, please." Senator Smith called out loudly.

I stood up. "Yes, Senator?"

"Is Harold Lowe your brother?"

"Yes, sir."

"Did he strike you on the Titanic?"

"Yes, sir. He did. But I hold no ill feelings towards him. I love my brother. I made him frustrated on the ship when I refused to leave, so I believe his actions to be forgivable and excusable."

"Thank you, Miss Lowe. You may sit now." I sat down, and saw Harold smile at me.

They questioned him a bit more, and then finally moved on to another person.

It was now about three o'clock. I tapped Spencer on the shoulder and then pointed to the clock. We both stood up and made our way past the other seated people, and tried not to make too much of a disturbance.

We walked out into the hallway, and saw Harold walk out after us. "Hello, Merry, Spencer."

"Harold!" I nearly squealed, and pulled my brother into an embrace, causing him to chuckle. "I missed you."

He hugged me back. "I missed you too, Merry."

"They were asking you pretty hard questions." Spencer commented.

"They are being extremely thorough about this. Sadly, they're moving us all to Washington D.C. in a few days to continue testifying there. So I'll be leaving. Then after that I'll be on a ship back to England."

"Harry! I don't want you to go." I felt like a child again.

"Don't worry. I'll visit right before I leave, and I'll visit every time I'm back in New York."

"And you'll write me, won't you?"

"Of course I will. I have Aunt Gwen's address, so I can definitely write to you and update you on my many adventures." he showed off a wide smile.

"Good."

"Meredith, we ought to get going. Your aunt wanted us home by four." Spencer grabbed my arm gently.

"Oh, yes. I'll see you soon, Harry."

"Goodbye, Merry."

Then we left, hopping back into the car, and going back to Aunt Gwen's large stone house.

As we walked through the front door, Aunt Gwen was leaving the parlor and saw us. "Oh, good. You're right on time. Be ready to leave in an hour and a half. I'll send Tracy up for you, Meredith. And Spencer, I'll have my butler, Gene, sent up to assist you."

"Thank you, Mrs. Quinley." he said, and we both went upstairs to our rooms.

I walked into my room and shut the door behind me. Hanging on my wardrobe door was a beautiful dress. It was made of shiny gold material, covered by black lace with embroidered black flowers. The sleeves were very short, and the neckline was a square shape.

Tracy came in, and helped me into a corset. She tied it tight enough for me to look very thin, but left me just enough room to breathe. Then she fit the dress on me over my head, and hooked it in the back. She then lightly applied make up to my face, making me look natural. I stared into the mirror, and I couldn't believe my eyes. It was stunning._ I _was stunning. Once my hair was pinned up, and she looked me over, she told me I was ready.

"Thank you, Tracy. You did a wonderful job." she then left, and I looked at the mirror again, striking poses and spinning around like a young girl would.

"Meredith." Spencer opened my door without knocking, and I turned around to face him, blushing with embarrassment. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was just going to tell you we need to go soon."

"Thank you. I'll meet you downstairs in a moment." he shut my door, and I took one last look in the mirror, smiling at my reflection, and then I went down the stairs to the hallway and then into the parlor when my aunt was sitting on the couch, and Spencer was sitting with his legs crossed in the chair.

"Ah, Meredith, finally. Now we can go." Aunt Gwen said, and the three of use went outside to the cars. Aunt Gwen entered one, and Spencer and I entered the other.

"You look amazing, Mer." he said while staring at me.

"Thank you." I avoided his eyes, and stared down. "You look nice too."

We were silent for the remainder of the ride, which took about twenty minutes. I'm not sure, since I spent most of the time staring out the window, taking in the sights of New York.

Finally, we arrived at a large brick house, with many other elegantly dressed people entering through the large opened wooden doors. The driver opened the door for me and gave me his hand to assist me getting out. Then he drove off, and Spencer, Aunt Gwen, and I entered the house. The hall was lined with portrait after portrait of men and women from decades ago. Then we entered a large ballroom, with high ceilings, and breathtaking chandeliers. There were many people at every corner of the room, laughing and drinking out of crystal champagne glasses. There was a cleared space in the center of the room for a dance floor, which had only a few couples twirling around on it to the music played by the string players in the corner.

"Meredith, come with me." Aunt Gwen said as she walked through the crowd of people. She introduced me to nearly everyone in the room, and I was finally able to escape an hour later, and I grabbed a glass of champagne from one of the butlers' trays.

"Would you like to dance?" Spencer asked from beside me.

"Sure." he took my hand and led me to the floor, placing one hand on my waist, and leading me around the room to the rhythm of the music.

"How was the meeting and greeting?" he asked with a smirk.

"Boring. This sort of thing isn't my idea of a good time. But I suppose I'll have to get used to it."

"It isn't so bad once you get used to it. You just have to learn to put on a fake smile, treat everyone like they are the queen, and don't do anything that seems fun because it most likely won't be proper." he laughed.

"Well that doesn't seem very fun at all."

"You learn to live like this." he then took me by surprise by dipping me, "And have fun on your own time, out of society's judgmental eye." then he brought me back up.

"You're insane, you know that? You nearly dropped me."

"But I didn't." he smirked again. Oh how I hated that look. The song ended, but he didn't remove his hand from my waste, nor did he let my hand go. "May I speak with you?"

"You are."

"I mean in private."

I nodded, and he led me to the other side of the room, and opened two doors that led to a dimly lit hall that was empty. The sounds of the party were muffled through the walls.

"What did you need to say, Spence?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"First off, I'd like to say that you really do look breath taking. I've barely been able to take my eyes off of you all night." he was right. I had noticed his eyes on me all evening. "Secondly, I just wanted to talk about what's going on, with everything…" I knew what he was attempting to infer.

"I'm fine with this, Spencer." I answered in a slightly tense tone.

"You sure?"

"I'm going back to the party." I turned away from him and took one step toward the door. He caught my arm, and turn me around, meeting my lips with his. He gently placed his hand on the back of my neck, and moved his lips slowly but passionately against mine in an intense kiss.

After a few seconds, I pulled away quickly. I couldn't do this. Not now. It was way too soon, and sadly Spencer just didn't get that.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"No!" I yelled irritably. I was mad at myself, and I had my fists tight at my sides. I finally released them and allowed the color to return to my knuckles. "Spencer, I can marry you, but I cannot love you." I hissed, and then opened the door again to leave, taking one last look at him.

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_Thank you all for reading chapter 11. I'll have chapter 12 posted as soon as I can. Please review. Love, Kell. _


	12. Chapter XII

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter XII**_

Over the next few weeks, Spencer and I barely spoke. He would attempt to speak to me, but I would just pass right on by him. I wasn't much up for conversation. It was now mid May, a month after the sinking, and things hadn't changed much. Mrs. Welch was still pretty broken. She was eating and talking more, but still spent a lot of time in silent seclusion. Aunt Gwen was just herself, busily planning my wedding that I had no interest in. Spencer kept trying to get my attention, without success.

I was leaving my bedroom, about to walk down stairs, when Spencer called my name. I didn't turn. He jogged down the hall, "Meredith!"

"Not now, Spencer." I snapped, and walked down the stairs. Things had been slightly tense between him and I. Actually just from me. I'd been feeling very uncomfortable after that kiss, so I distanced myself from my fiance.

He had been trying and trying day after day to speak to me, but I just was not in the mood, clearly. He just wouldn't give up.

Spencer was barreling down the stairs after me, "Meredith, I'd really like to speak to you. Please. Just for a few moments."

I sighed. "I was going to get a cup of tea, Spencer."

"I'll join you." he replied quickly, and before I could utter another sigh, he grabbed my and dragged me out to the garden where a black iron table with intricate patterns was on the cobblestone patio. The sun was out, and the multitude of flowers created a sea of colors all around us.

"Can I get you two anything?" A maid came outside and asked.

"Two cups of tea. You know already how we like them, right?"

The maid nodded and left. Spencer gestured for me to sit down. We were awkwardly silent until the maid returned with our tea, and I nervously stirred it for what felt like minutes but that was most likely a mere ten seconds.

"So how was your night?" he asked.

"It was fine." I looked up from my cup.

"You haven't been speaking to me very much. Might I ask why?"

"I think you know."

"Is this because I kissed you?"

"You tell me."

"We're engaged. I thought it would be alright."

"Well, it's not alright."

"Meredith," he began, and hesitated, "Why are we getting married?"

"What do you mean? You know the reasons why."

"I know. But if you don't have feelings for me, why are we going to get married?"

"Because it's all we can do. It's what everybody wants us to do. Hell, I don't know, Spence."

"If you don't have feelings for me, why should we be married?"

I stayed silent.

"I'm going to make you love me, Meredith. And if I fail at that, then we'll just go our separate ways." he leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs.

"Fine."

I stayed there and finished my tea, then excused myself to go back inside.

"Oh, Meredith," Aunt Gwen saw me and approached, "I saw you and Spencer out having tea on the patio. How lovely."

"Yeah. It was." I lied.

The next few days, I was still ignoring Spencer. I just felt so awkward around him.

I was heading back up to my bed room, when I heard a shrill scream. I ran up the stairs and saw Iris standing outside of my room staring into the opened door while covering her face with her hands.

"Iris, what happened?" I asked immediately.

"Miss Meredith, I was making your bed when I swear I saw a rat move beneath the sheets!"

I peered into my room, and slowly entered. There was a small moving creature underneath my bed sheets. I cautiously reached out and grabbed the edge of the sheet, then quickly ripped it off the bed to reveal what wasn't a rat, but a small black kitten. It looked up at me and meowed, causing me to smile uncontrollably. "Hello, sweetheart." I said softly as I picked her up gently. I carried her out to the hall. "Iris, it wasn't a rat. It was a kitten. Isn't she adorable?"

Iris stroked the kitten with one finger. "She's precious."

"I wonder how a kitten got into my room."

Spencer was coming up the stairs, looking around every direction possible until he saw us and stopped. "That's where she went." he came up to me and took the kitten from my hand.

"Yea, she was in my room. May I ask why you have a kitten in the house?"

"I bought her. For you." he held her out towards me, and I took her back.

"You bought me a kitten?"

"Yes. You've seemed lonely, so I figured you could use a little companion. Plus she was just too adorable to not take home."

"Is my aunt alright with this?"

"Yes, I've asked her. She thought it was a sweet idea."

"Well she is adorable." I tried to conceal my excitement. "Thank you, Spencer." The kitten fell asleep in my hands. "What's her name?"

"I was leaving that up to you."

I stared at her, and stroked her back softly. "Her icy blue eyes remind me of my Aunt Eleanor. She's my father's older sister, a year younger than my Aunt Gwen. She died a few years ago though. She was very sweet, and she adored me. I'm going to name the kitten Ellie, after her. Hopefully Aunt Gwen won't notice who I named her after. She couldn't stand Aunt Eleanor. She was always jealous of her. Gwen was always the greedy type, while Eleanor was more giving. Complete opposites, really."

"Ellie sounds like a fine name."

I carried Ellie down stairs, and brought her into the kitchen. There was the head cook. "Penny, do you have anything I could feed this kitten?"

The cook, Penny, turned around from her work. "Of course, Miss." she poured milk into a bowl and put it on the counter. I placed Ellie on the counter, and she sniffed the bowl, then began to sip the milk.

Once she was done, I picked her up. She had milk all stuck to the fur on her face. It made me laugh uncontrollably as I wiped it off. Then I carried her into the dining room, where my aunt was reading a paper. I walked over and stood beside her. "Aunt Gwen, look what Spencer got for me? Isn't she adorable?"

"Oh, yes. She's very pretty." Aunt Gwen pet the kitten's head for a moment. "Did you name her?"

"Yes." I hesitated for a few seconds. "Ellie."

"Oh." she looked down at her paper again. "That's lovely." I looked down at the paper too, and I saw a picture of Clarissa in the corner. "Aunt Gwen, is that Clarissa Buller-Hewitt?"

"Yes, it is. Her family just had a memorial service for her last week."

"I wish I could have gone."

"I would have let you go had I known there was one. The ride to their home only takes about forty five minutes, I'd assume."

"Could I go visit her family? Just to talk to them about her. She was my friend, after all."

"If you wish to. I'll arrange for my driver to take you and Spencer tomorrow."

"Spencer?" I asked and sighed. Must he follow me everywhere?

"Is that a problem, Meredith?" Aunt Gwen asked.

"No, ma'am. No problem at all." I lied. I went back upstairs, and I knocked on Spencer's door. He answer.

"Hello, Merry. Enjoying your kitten?" he asked with a smile that was actually sort of cute.

"Yes, she's wonderful." I looked down at Ellie, who was asleep in my hand. "Tomorrow we're going on a trip."

"Oh?" he asked curiously. "Where to?"

"We're going to visit Clarissa's family. They apparently don't live too far from here. Less than an hour's drive. If you'd like to go-"

"Of course I would!" he answered quickly.

"Alright. Be ready tomorrow morning. We'll leave at 11 o'clock sharp."

"I'll be ready." he answered in a slightly flirtatious tone.

I walked back to my room, and placed Ellie down on my bed. I laid down, and put her on my stomach, then fell asleep, cuddling with my new pet.

The next morning, I awoke by myself, and picked up Ellie, then placed her on my pillow so she could continue to sleep. I went to my wardrobe, and pulled out a dark blue dress. It reminded me a bit of the dress I wore as the Titanic was sinking, only it was simpler. Tracy came upstairs and helped me into a corset, and the dress. She pinned my hair back and put a matching blue hat with a black sating bow around it onto my head. I looked very nice, in my opinion. Tracy took Ellie down to the kitchen to feed her. The maids would watch her for the day.

I went down to the dining room, and asked the maid for a cup of tea which she brought to me in a few minutes. Aunt Gwen walked in soon after. "Meredith, finally decided to wake up, have you?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Spencer arrived in the room, wearing a pair of dark black pants, an off white collared shirt, and black suspenders. His hair was hanging freely in his face. "We going soon?"

"Yes, once I finish my tea." I responded, taking a sip.

Five minutes later, we both got into one of Aunt Gwen's car.

"So why are we visiting Clarissa's family?" Spencer asked.

"I'm not sure. I just felt like it's something that should be done. Perhaps we could tell them about what we learned about her, and they can tell us about her. Perhaps they'd feel more at peace knowing about her final moments… How happy she was with your brother."

He looked sad at the mention of Adam. We hadn't spoken about him in such a long time.

"Yeah, it probably will be good to meet her family. I miss her. She was a sweet girl. I miss Adam pretty badly too… This isn't something men like to admit, but I've cried every night since he died."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with admitting that. It means you have feelings. That's perfectly normal."

"Seeing Clarissa's family might be something Adam would have wanted us to do."

The rest of the ride, we would awkwardly discuss the weather or other random topics. We pulled up to a large brick house, and the driver opened my door to let me out. Spencer took my arm, and we walked up to the front door. I knocked on the front door, and a young woman opened it. She had straight honey blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, and murky see green eyes. She looked so much like Clarissa, I felt like I might faint. Spencer and I stood there with our jaws dropped.

"Can I help you?" she asked, and we didn't answer. "Good gracious, you both look like you've seen a ghost." she waved her hand in front of our faces. "Hello?"

I snapped out of my daze. "Oh, sorry. You just look so much like a friend of mine…"

She studied our faces. "Come in." she lead us into the parlor, and gestured for us to sit down. "I'm assuming you knew my sister, Clarissa, right?" she opened a decanter of brandy, "Either of you care for a drink?"

Normally I would turn down a drink, but right now I said yes, and I drank the brown liquid, letting the fire burn down my throat. "I'm Meredith Lowe, and this is Spencer Welch. In case you were wondering."

She put down the decanter and joined us with a glass of her own. "I'm Charlotte. Clarissa was my twin sister, in case you were curious about the resemblance. What brings you here?"

"We met Clarissa on the Titanic. We befriended her. She was very sweet, and we thought we should pay her family a visit to answer any questions they might have about her last moments."

"My sister and I haven't spoken in a while. We went to Paris, and she met that man, Tyrus Barks. They 'fell in love'" she laughed, "And she ditched us to go off to London with him. We hear she was 'with child'. Our family was pretty embarrassed. Then she went and got herself drowned in the damn North Atlantic." Charlotte filled her glass again and downed it quickly.

"She was pregnant. She told us. And she died only because she wouldn't leave the man she loved."

"She fell in love again? She was always a bit boy crazy."

Spencer spoke up, "She fell in love with my younger brother, Adam Welch. They both died together…."

"I'm sorry to hear about your loss, sir." she said sincerely, and placed her hand on his. I felt my face getting hot. But I didn't like Spencer, so why did I feel this sudden surge of jealousy?

"My mother and father are out of town. You won't be able to speak to them, if that's what you were hoping to do."

"I really didn't care who I spoke to. I just wanted to meet somebody related to Clarissa. Maybe learn a bit more about her."

"My sister was a brat. She always had her head in the clouds, never thought about the consequences of her actions. Whenever anything bad happened to her, it was always 'oh poor me'. She wasn't as bad off as you'd think. She was a spoiled little princess."

"I take it you didn't think too highly of her." Spencer commented.

"We were twins. Sisters. And we fought like any normal sisters would, I suppose. As twins, we wanted to get as far away from each other as possible. I wanted to be my own separate person, and we went our own separate paths. I can't help that she chose the wrong one."

"I'm guessing your family isn't very close…" Spencer spoke up again.

"You're right. My parents, Jacob and Rosaline, had three children. They decided it'd be cute to give us all the same initials too. Charlotte Aimee, Clarissa Anisette, and my younger brother, Caleb Alexander. They treated us the same, and didn't really see us as anything special. We were raised mostly by maids, while our parents traveled all over. Even now, a week after their daughter's memorial service, they've gone off to Madrid. Clarissa enjoyed the traveling though, whenever they'd take us with. Like when we all went to France. She met that god-awful man, and they'd fool around. She'd tell me all about how he desired her, and how she gave in. She thought she was in love." she let out a laugh, "She couldn't even see the old man was just using her. She got what she deserved. I tried to warn her, but she was too thick to listen."

"I actually found your sister to be quite sweet. She was a good friend of mine."

Charlotte poured herself another glass of brandy and took a big sip. "She was an idiot."

I needed a break from her. "Might I use the loo?" I asked.

"The what?" Clarissa took another sip from her newly filled cup. "That means the bathroom, right? You silly Europeans." she laughed again in a haughty manner.

I shook my head and left the room, walking down the hall looking for the bathroom since Charlotte hadn't exactly told me where it was. I opened a random door, and saw a boy there. I was so surprised I screamed.

"Jeez, lady. Shut your mouth and cool the hell down." he said rudely.

I stopped and looked at him. "What did you just say to me?"

Spencer and Charlotte came running down the hall (actually Spencer was the one running, Charlotte was dragging behind). "What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing." I answered. "I just got a bit of a fright. That's all."

Charlotte laughed again, obviously a little more than just tipsy. "A bit of a fright." she mimicked me in a high voice. "How cute." she giggled.

I sighed.

"Who's the broad?" the boy asked Charlotte and pointing at me.

"This is Mary…?" she looked at me curiously.

"Meredith." I corrected. "Who's the kid?" I looked at him.

"I'm Caleb Alexander Buller-Hewitt the III. Named after my grandfather, and his father." he answered, sounding proud of himself. "And I'm not a kid. I'm fifteen."

"Well I'm not a broad. So now we're both a bit more educated." I snapped.

"She and this man here were friends of Clarissa's on the Titanic apparently." Charlotte explained.

"You knew my sister?" he asked slowly.

"Yes, I did. She was a very sweet girl. I'm sure you miss her terribly."

Caleb's eyes suddenly filled with tears.

"Aw, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry." I reached out my hand to put it on his shoulder, but Charlotte smacked it away.

"Caleb, grow up. Stop crying. What would father say?!" she scolded.

"Sorry Charlie…" he brushed at his tears angrily, and turned away, walking down the hall and disappearing into a room.

"We should probably go…" Spencer was standing behind me, and he whispered into my ear.

I leaned back an inch, "Yes, I'd really like to leave."

Spencer placed his hand gently on my back and led me forward, "We should be leaving. Thank you for your time."

"Oh, alright. Bye bye now." she said in a very obnoxious way.

Spencer led me out of the house and back to the car. He opened the door to let me in. "Did you hear that girl? She's horrible! And she was saying Clarissa was a bad person. Has she look in a mirror? She's absolutely dreadful!"

"Calm down, Merry. We're out of there. Charlotte will probably drink herself into a nice nap before two." he smirked.

"No wonder Clarissa fell for Mr. Barks. She needed love from somebody, and she wasn't getting it at home. Her siblings are insane, and her parents were distant, literally. They pushed her to it."

"I know. I feel horrible for her, and I still miss Clarissa. And Adam."

"She's happier though at the moment…" I stated, but meant it as a question.

He understood, "Yes, she is happier."

We went back home, and Spencer and I sat on the parlor floor with Ellie. She was playing with a small ball of yarn we stole from my Aunt's attic, but soon fell asleep on the floor.

"I used to have a cat when I was younger. My parents got him for me after Harry left, because I just looked so lonely. His name was Caratacus."

Spencer lifted an eyebrow, and then laughed. "Caratacus? That's a bit of an odd name, don't you think?"

"It meant 'beloved and amiable'. But I just called him Cat for a few years. He was a handsome orange cat, with brown patches. He got a bit fat later in his life though. He died two years ago."

"Well you loved Caratacus," he laughed as he said the name, then quickly composed himself, "And now that he's gone, even though you still love him, you love Ellie too, right?"

"Yes. She's very sweet." I rolled her over onto her back and pet her tummy while she snoozed.

"Then," he cleared his throat, "does that mean that even though you cared for James, you could care for me now that he is gone."

"Spencer, that is entirely different."

"Really, Mer? How?"

"We were talking about kittens, not us." I went to get myself off the floor, but he grabbed my wrist.

"Meredith… Tell me honestly that you don't care for me."

"I don't." he must have noticed I was staring down as I spoke.

I once again attempt to get up off the floor, but he moved closer to me, and then to my surprise moved himself above me, holding me gently on the floor beneath him.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel anything for me."

"I-"

"Honestly." he interrupted me.

"I… I think you should let me up."

"Meredith, just answer."

"You're making me uncomfortable, Spencer."

"Then answer and I'll let you get up. Tell me honestly, and look me in the eyes. I just want to know-"

His green eyes were looking into mine expectedly. His look paralyzed me to that spot.

"Spencer… I… I…" I couldn't seem to get the words out.

"Yes?"

"I do care for you." I finally admitted, defeated. "Only a bit." I added quickly. His eyes searched mine again, and he looked suspicious. "Maybe more than just a bit."

He smiled. "How much?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes, it does."

"I really don't know how to explain."

"Okay then. Do you like me like this?" he leaned down a bit and kissed my lips quickly. "Or like this?" He kissed me like he did before, passionately with a bit of tongue. I didn't stop him this time. He pulled away, and smiled. I returned the grin, and lifted my head to meet his lips again in another passionate kiss, only this time I left my tongue in my own mouth.

"Like that." I answered once we parted.

"I'm not quite sure I understand. Like this?" he kissed me again. And again. And again. This went on for several minutes, and I felt butterflies. I hadn't quite felt this way since last month with James. For so long I've tried to keep Spencer away and hide my feelings, but now I realized giving in felt so good, and so right.

"Yes, Spence, exactly like that." I smiled seductively at him, and he went on to kiss my cheek, my jaw line, my neck, and my collarbone. I found myself giggling like a child, enjoying his lips on my skin.

"Excuse me." Aunt Gwen said, standing in the doorway. "I hate to interrupt," she smiled, "But could you two just calm this down a bit. And please get off of my floor."

"Yes, ma'am." Spencer answered, moving away from me, and helping me stand up. I picked up Ellie, and we all walked upstairs, with Aunt Gwen's eyes following us as we disappeared onto the upper level of the house.

I stopped by my bedroom door, and leaned against the wall. He stood in front of me, holding himself up with one hand on the wall beside me. "I'm going to go lie down for a bit. I need some rest." I couldn't stop smiling.

"Alright. Same." he was smiling uncontrollably as well. "I'll see you later." he kissed my cheek, and disappeared into his own bedroom.

I carried Ellie into my room, laid down, and fell asleep.

* * *

_Hey. I'm sorry this took awhile, and I know it's not as good as it should be. I'm getting my computer taken away for a few days, so I had to post this right niow and finish it quickly. I was in the emergency room, and there's been a lot going on. I'll try to get chapter 13 done as quickly as possible. Thank you for reading. please review. I'll cheer up a lot from a review from one of you lovely readers. Hehe. Thanks everyone. Enjoy. _


	13. Chapter XIII

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter 13**_

May faded into June, and Aunt Gwen was diving into plans for a July wedding. This was all a bit soon, but I went along with whatever she thought was best. Trina Welch was more active. She ate on a regular basis, and spoke to people. She was almost back to normal, despite the nightly sobbing.

I walked downstairs to the kitchen, to find my kitten, Ellie, crawling around on a light blue pillow in a wicker basket in the corner. I scooped her up into my arms and brought her over to the counter, where the maid immediately placed a saucer of milk down. I ran my finger down her spine, causing her to stop drinking the milk and purr.

Once she was done, I placed her down in the basket again, and she curled up to sleep. Then I went to the dining room, which was empty at the moment.

"Miss, would you like some tea?" Tracy asked as she walked by.

"Yes, thank you." I responded, and she disappeared into the kitchen.

Spencer walked into the room, and leaned down to kiss my forehead before sitting down beside me. "Good morning, sweetheart."

"Good morning'." I replied. My tea was set down in front of me, and the maid retreated back into the kitchen.

"Sleep well?"

"Yes. You ask me this every morning, Spence, and every morning my answer is the same."

"Sorry, Mer. I'll refrain from it." he leaned back in his chair. "What's going on for today?"

"I believe my aunt has asked the dress maker to come over, and then after that we're having lunch, me, you, my aunt, and your mother. We'll be discussing plans, dates, etcetera."

"Oh. Sounds exciting." he commented with obvious sarcasm.

"Definitely." I smirked.

"So, I was giving some thought to our honeymoon."

"What about it?" I asked.

"Well, I thought perhaps you and I could tour Europe. It's in vogue right now. We could go to London, Paris, Madrid, Barcelona, Vienna, Amsterdam. Anywhere you're heart desires."

"Anywhere?" I asked, smiling.

He smiled back, "Yes, Merry. Anywhere."

"I'd like to at least stop in Wales to visit family. I know my parents are going to come for the wedding, and my brothers too, but I'd like to see my home again. I've missed it."

"Of course we can go to Wales. I want to see this wonderful place."

"It's a lovely place. Trust me. You'll love it. We'd be going at a favorable time of year. It can get very chilly there in the winter months. My home town is way up north, and it's near the water. The grass is lush and green, and the sky is the most breath taking hue I've ever seen. It's so natural and unpolluted."

"Sounds like Heaven. We'll definitely go there. I'll work on the plans for that, alright. We just need to know the wedding date first so we know when we can leave."

Aunt Gwen and Trina Welch appeared in dining room, chatting casually. "Oh, good to see you both. We needed to speak to you two."

"About…?" I inquired a bit rudely.

"Well how would you feel about a wedding on independence day?" Trina asked with a smile, one of the only few I've seen her sport in awhile.

"Excuse me," I spoke up, "But when is independence day?"

"July 4th, dear." Aunt Gwen responded. "It's the day America gained independence from the British. They celebrate every year with fireworks and picnics. I figured it might be a lovely and exciting day for your upcoming nuptials." she clapped her hands together with delight, "It'll be wonderful, don't you think?"

"Yes, it sounds lovely." I agreed, and then I pushed my chair back and stood up. "If I may be excused for a moment…"

"No, dear, you may not be." Aunt Gwen stopped me. "The dress maker will be here in fifteen minutes."

I sighed and sat down again. For some reason I felt uneasy with all these wedding plans. I liked Spencer, and he liked me. If I had to marry anybody at the moment, I'd want it to be him. We're friends and we do get along so well. But my heart was still aching, and nagging me about James… I was thinking about him more and more lately. Yes, our time together was short, but still meant something. He died, with me in his heart. And he took a piece of my heart down to the bottom of the North Atlantic with him. If this had been any other fling, that ended in any other way, I wouldn't feel this way. But it ended so suddenly and tragically, there was no closure. All I have is memories and thoughts of what could have been.

I must have blanked out, because suddenly I was brought back to reality when Aunt Gwen entered the room with a short, chubby woman, carrying all sorts of papers, with at least five measuring tapes around her neck.

"Meredith, dear, this is Marjorie Kernmayer. She is the dress maker, and she's here to take a few measurements, and find out which type of style would look best on you."

I looked around and noticed Spencer and Trina had left, and the three of us were the only ones left. Aunt Gwen led us to the parlor, and she shut the doors behind her. I began to sit, but Marjorie cleared her throat obnoxiously. "Please remain standing." she walked towards me, pulling a measuring tape off of her shoulder and placed her papers down on the coffee table. "Arms up, dearie." I did as she told me. She measured every possible thing she could, and recorded the numbers on her papers.

"Now with your height, which is quite average, I think we'll need something to make you seem taller. So nothing separating the skirt from the bodice. No bows or belts or anything. And what do you think about satin material, with off-white lace on the sleeves and bodice, and beads around the hem of the skirt, getting less and less up until perhaps where your knees are, so they'll look like they're fading upward. Then a veil of similar white lace to your dress, and it'll go down to about your waist, and white flowers in the top."

Aunt Gwen was smiling, "Marjorie, that sounds magnificent. What do you think, Meredith?"

They both looked to me expectantly. "It sounds spectacular. Thank you, Ms. Kernmayer. I'm very pleased with your ideas."

"Very well. I will get started on this immediately. You'll be a beautiful bride, miss." she gathered up her papers, and Aunt Gwen showed her out.

I sat down, finally, and dropped my head into my hands. This was all coming too soon. It was only early June. If the wedding was to actually be July 4th, I only had a month left as just me. As just Meredith Wynne Lowe.

Aunt Gwen entered the room again. "I think Ms. Kernmayer had some very lovely ideas. And she was absolutely correct, you will be a beautiful bride."

"I'm sure." I replied, forcing a smile.

"Now go on upstairs and put on something nice. We're all going to lunch."

I went up to my bedroom, and opened my wardrobe. I pulled out a light pink dress with a white lacy undershirt to cover where the pink material did not in the front since it went in a V shape from my shoulders to my waist, and a pink sun hat to match. I called for a maid's assistance, and Tracy arrived shortly to help me into my dress.

Once I was ready, I left my room, and saw Spencer doing the same. "Hello, stranger." I greeted.

"Oh, well hello there. What's a beautiful young lady like you doing in a place like this?" he joked.

He reached out his hand towards me and I took it. "I'm about to go out to lunch with a charming young man." I smiled, "And two older women." I added plainly.

"Might I know this charming young man?"

"You may. He is quite like you. You two would get along very well."

"Well then, I must be introduced."

"Very well." I gestured to Spencer, "Mr. Welch, allow me to introduce," I spun around fully and gestured to Spencer again, "Mr. Welch."

"Oh, well good afternoon, Mr. Welch." he spoke while staring at the wall as if somebody were actually there. "Very nice to meet you." then he turned to face the opposite wall, "And you, sir. Might I say you are very handsome." he turned again, "Ah, and you as well." then he faced me and smiled broadly, offering me his arm which I took and we walked down the stairs together.

There we met Aunt Gwen and Mrs. Welch, and entered the cars waiting outside.

Spencer and I got one car while the older women took the other.

I was being quiet, and Spencer noticed, so he took my hand in his and caressed it gently. "Everything alright, Mer?"

I turned my head suddenly away from the window to look at him. "Yes, I'm perfectly alright. Just tired, I suppose."

"How about I wake you up a bit then?" he asked in a lower voice than usual, checked to make sure the driver was keeping his eyes on the road, and then kissed my neck.

"Spencer…"

He didn't answer, and kissed my neck again, and again. Then he moved up to my earlobe and nibbled lightly, which felt weird to me.

"Spence…" I said again.

He rested his head on my shoulder, "Yes, Merry?"

"That's not going to wake me up, you know."

"Oh really? Then what will."

I smiled, and kissed him lightly for only a second.

Before I could completely pull my face away he leaned in and kissed me strongly. I placed my hands on his shoulder, and he placed one of his on my knee, the other around the back of my neck. After a minute of intense embracing, I somehow ended up on my back, with him leaning over me. If the driver didn't notice this, he must have been dead. I think at on point I may have accidentally kicked the driver's seat. I'm not sure, I was completely lost in the moment. He moved away from my lips and began kissing my neck again, and trailing down my collarbone.

"Meredith, I love you." he said between kisses.

My eyes were closed as I was enjoying the intimate moment, and that's when I made the worst mistake ever, "I love you too, James."

He stopped and looked at me. "James?"

I froze. Had I really just gotten his name wrong? Damn!

"Spencer, I'm sorry. I-" I didn't know what to say, "I made a mistake. It's just an honest mistake, Spence. Please… Don't be angry…"

He looked at me, "I'm not angry, Mer. I'm just…. Confused. You say you love me, but you also love a dead man. Who really owns your heart, Meredith?"

"You!" I yelled, trying to make him believe me.

"Then why did you call me James?"

"Because… I miss him. But I love you. I wasn't thinking straight. You had me a bit distracted." I smiled, hoping he would soften a bit.

"Is this what you really want, Meredith? Be honest."

"Yes. Of course I want this." I said confidently, and he smiled widely.

"Good." he kissed me again. "We should probably straighten ourselves up again. We're almost at the restaurant and don't want my mother or your aunt scolding us for our disheveled appearance. And perhaps we can pick this all up again later." he smirked, as did I.

I smoothed down my hair the best I could and adjusted everything so I looked like I had been up to absolutely nothing, and I believe it worked. When we exited the car nobody said a thing.

We went into a large fancy restaurant and sat right in the middle at an average sized round table with four chairs. Just perfect for us.

"So we have a month left until the wedding. The dress is being prepared, I've found bridesmaids, and the invitations will go out next week. Everything seems to be going smoothly." Aunt Gwen explained.

"Meredith, I have this for you." Trina Welch dug into her small purse and pulled out a silver diamond ring and handed it to me. "For your engagement."

I stared at it, and the more I looked, the larger the diamond seemed to get. I couldn't possibly wear this. It'd weigh me down. Although perhaps that was the plan. I faked a smile and looked to Mrs. Welch. "It's lovely. Thank you." I was about to slip it onto my finger when she interrupted.

"No. Spencer," she looked to her son, "You have to put it on her hand."

He awkwardly reached across the table, but then decided standing up and coming over to me would be a better idea. He slipped it onto my ring finger and smiled meekly before going back to his seat.

It was official for everyone to see. I was doomed to become Mrs. Spencer Welch. My heart and my head could not seem to agree with one another. I was facing an internal civil war, and there was no way to squelch it.

I would rather be with James. He made me feel better. Spencer was great, and I cared for him too. But something just didn't feel right. He was all I had though. This was the only thing I had in my life now, and I'd have to follow it, or else I'd be nowhere.

"To the joining of our families." Aunt Gwen raised her glass in the air as we received our food.

We all raised our wine glasses with a clink, and then took a sip.

Back at home that afternoon, I went up to my room, and took off my hat and unpinned my hair. I crawled onto my bed and laid down for awhile, staring up at the ceiling until I heard a knock.

"Come in." I said, too lazy to answer the door myself. Spencer walked in.

"Hello, Meredith." he greeted, walking into my room and shutting the door behind him.

I sat up, "Oh, hi Spence."

"I was a bit bored. Decided to come visit my beautiful fiancé. I hope you don't mind." he smiled.

"No, not at all. I don't mind."

He came over and sat on the edge of my bed. "So…"

"So…" I said, trying to avoid the awkward silence between us.

"You look even prettier with your hair down."

"Thanks." I said, looking down away from him.

He put his finger on my chin lightly and lifted my face up so I looked at him. "Are you alright?"

"Yes. I'm fine." I lied.

"Good." he placed a light kiss on my lips. "Because if something were wrong, you could tell me. I'll do whatever I can for you."

I pulled him in for another kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. I didn't want him to doubt that I cared about him. He was kissing me back, and slowly pushing me back onto the bed.

He was now hovering over me, playfully nibbling on my ear. "I love you." he whispered.

"I love you too." I whispered back seductively.

I could feel something hard against my thigh, and when I realized, I moved a bit and looked at him.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No, not at all. This is just getting a bit intense."

"I'm sorry. Should I stop?"

I shook my head. "No, it's alright."

"If you say so." he pressed his lips against mine again, and began to touch me in places he never had before.

"Spence…" I said breathlessly.

"Meredith, I really do love you. Ever since I met you. When we get married next month, I promise I'm going to take care of your for as long as we both live." I could see the sincerity in his eyes, and I kissed him lightly, again and again. Something didn't feel right, but eventually I'm sure this all would be fine. I just had to push James out of my thoughts and try to give my whole heart to Spencer. Easier said than done, I suppose…

"I know we're getting married in a month, Mer, but I can't take it." he buried his face into my shoulder. "I need you so bad." he whined.

I gulped nervously. "Oh… Well, then… I guess it'd be alright." We were getting married in a month after all. What could be the harm?

"Are you sure, Meredith? I only want to do this if you're absolutely certain." he looked me straight in the eyes.

"I'm sure, Spencer." I said confidently, surprising myself.

He kissed me again, forcing his tongue into my mouth, as he fumbled with the hooks on the back of my dress awkwardly. Finally he succeeded, and well, you can figure out what happened from there.

Once he finished, Spencer was buttoning his shirt, and he saw me staring emotionlessly at the floor. He kissed my forehead sweetly. "I guess we should make some sort of appearance downstairs before somebody thinks we're up to something."

"I actually would rather lie down, if that's alright."

"Of course it is. I'll see you later, alright, sweetheart?" he kissed my cheek, and then my mouth.

I nodded, and watched him leave and shut the door behind him.

I was already under my covers, wearing nothing at all, and I pulled the blankets up more until they were right under my chin, and I began to cry. I couldn't help it. It was painful, and it just did not feel right with him. Not now… But it was too late to take it back. I wiped my tears furiously with the back of my hand, and I straightened myself up the best I could. I put my dress back on, except for the hooks which I couldn't reach. Thank goodness Tracy was in the hallway and came in to assist me. Once I was looking presentable, I went downstairs for dinner. Probably one of the most awkward dinners of my life…

* * *

_I'm sorry this took me awhile. I had some personal things going on. But I worked on this when I could. I'm also sorry it is shorter than the other chapters. Anywho, please read and review. I love you guys. Thanks. Chapter 14 will be up as soon as I'm able to write it. -Kell._


	14. Chapter XIV

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter XIV**_

My wedding was now only a day away, and I was more nervous than ever. I was vomiting my guts into a wastepaper basket in the bathroom when I heard a knock on the door.

"Go away." I hissed sickly.

The door opened anyway, and there was Harold, looking worried. "The maid told me you were in here."

I wiped the corners of my mouth with my hand. "Oh, Harry, I'm so glad to see you!"

He knelt down beside me. "I'm glad to see you too, Merry. But, may I ask why you are hurling in that garbage can?"

"I'm just nervous, that's all, Harry." I smiled, and wiped a stray tear from my eye.

"Are you ill?" he placed the back of his hand to my forehead.

"No, I'm not ill. I'm just under a lot of stress and it's affecting me in many ways."

"What ways?"

"Well, I'm obviously nauseous, I'm tired, I'm slightly sore all over and I'm achey, and I haven't gotten my monthly this month, and I-"

His eyes widened. "Meredith… You're joking, right?"

I shook my head. "Harold, it's not what you're thinking…"

He sighed. "Be honest," he placed his hand on my shoulder, "Did you and Spencer… well, you know… do anything inappropriate that I'll have to kill him for later?"

I nodded my head slowly. "But, Harold, it's only stress, I'm sure of it."

"I'm taking you to a doctor. Come on. Clean yourself up." he helped me stand up.

"Are you angry?" I asked.

"Not with you." he answered, and shut the door behind him.

In fifteen minutes I was ready, and emerged from my bedroom dressed for the day. Harold was waiting in the hall for me. He took my arm and we descended the stairs, and got into one of Aunt Gwen's cars. We were both silent the whole ride, and finally arrived at a small doctors building.

"I made a few calls while you got ready. Apparently this doctor is good and trustworthy. It'll be fine." he grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly as we walked inside.

The doctor took me in immediately, and instructed me to sit down on the examination table.

"So, Miss Lowe, what seems to be the trouble?" the balding, middle-aged doctor asked.

"Well, I'm getting married tomorrow, and I've been nervous, which has been making me ill. But my brother dragged me here because he thinks I'm pregnant."

"Well, we'll figure that out soon. I need to ask you a few questions first."

Twenty minutes later, after the man asking me every single question he possibly could and doing a quick examination of me, he gave me a diagnosis, and then I was free to go.

I walked into the waiting room, where Harold sat with his head resting on his fist, and his elbow on his knee. His legs were crossed, and he looked to be deep in thought.

"Hello, Harry…" I walked towards him slowly.

"What happened?" he asked quickly.

"Well, it turns out, you were right…" I spoke hesitantly, and then waiting for a reply.

After a moment of thinking, Harold spoke, "I guess I get to kill your fiancé now. It's the big brother's job, you know."

"You will do no such thing, Harold Godfrey Lowe!" I hissed. "You will let me tell him myself, and you will keep out of it. You hear me?"

"Fine…"

"This is all going to be alright. I'll be married tomorrow, and it's all going to be fine. Nobody will know but you, me, and Spencer." I explained nervously.

"I'm here for you. And my nephew."

"What makes you think I'm having a boy?"

"I don't know. I can just sense there's a little troublemaker in there, ready to take after his Uncle Harry."

I laughed. "I can sense that too."

He put his arm around my shoulders. "Come on, let's go get some lunch."

We went to a small diner down the street, and sat down at a booth.

I ordered a salad and water. I wasn't feeling too well, so I figured eating light would be best.

"So, my little niece or nephew will be here in…" he thought for a moment, "March?"

I nodded.

"You have any names in mind?"

"Well, if it's a boy, I guess something for Adam or James."

"I think Harold is a good name. Just a suggestion." he flashed a wide smile.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Our food arrived then.

"Oh, Harold, when you come back to the house I'll have to show you my kitten that Spencer got for me. She's adorable."

"He bought you a cat?"

I nodded, while taking a bite of lettuce.

"How romantic of him." he said sarcastically.

"I love my kitten. And I know you like cats too, Harold. You always went to the barn down the street and played with the cats there. I remember."

"Well, now I just think they are filthy little hairballs."

"My little Ellie is far from a filthy hairball. She's cute. You'll love her."

"Alright. After we drop you off though, I think I should probably go back to my hotel. You need to talk to Spencer."

I looked down, and was quietly thinking about what I could possibly say.

"Meredith, you have to."

"I know." I looked up at him, "I'm going to. Don't worry."

"I'll come by around six o'clock. Tell Aunt Gwen I'm coming for dinner, if she'll have me."

"She surely will. Don't worry. I'll let her know."

After we finished our lunch, we got back into the car and went home. Harold got out and opened my door, helping me out and giving me a kiss on the forehead. "You'll be fine."

I smiled slightly, and went into the house.

I entered the sitting room, where Spencer was sitting on the sofa, and I softly shut the doors behind me. I strode over to him and sat beside him.

"Hello, darling." he kissed me on the cheek, "Where have you been?"

"I was just out with Harry. He arrived this morning."

"Oh, that's nice. I'll have to see him later."

"That's probably a bad idea."

"Why?"

"No reason." I replied, and we were both silent. "So… I was thinking…"

"About?"

"Children."

He eyed me curiously. "What about them?"

"Well, how long after we're married do you want to have children?"

"I'm not sure. At least a year maybe."

"How about eight months?" I asked quickly.

"Sure, we can try for a child in eight months."

"I don't think you understood. I meant if a child were to be born in eight months, not conceived."

"Mer, it takes nine months to have a baby. For us to have one in eight months would- Oh!" he finally figured it out.

I nodded meekly.

"Meredith, are you…?"

"Yes. I just got back from the doctor now. Harry took me."

He turned pale. "Oh my God… I think I'm going to be sick…"

I suddenly felt my lunch coming back up. "I think I am too. Pardon me." I clamped a hand over my mouth and fled the room. Once I reached the bathroom I didn't even shut the door all the way, I vomited into the closest thing, which was the sink. When I was finished, I sunk to the floor, and curled into a ball to cry. I stayed there for awhile, until I heard a knock on the door.

"Go away." I mumbled irritably, but the door opened anyway.

It was Spencer. "Merry, I'm sorry. My reaction wasn't the best…"

"I wasn't expecting it to be."

"How are we going to tell anyone?"

"I suggest we keep our mouths shut, get married tomorrow, and then we'll say it happened on our wedding night. Then we can just say the baby was a month early. It'll be perfectly fine."

"That could work." He sat down on the floor beside me. "I'm really sorry about this, Meredith. I know this isn't how you pictured your new life in America."

"Not at all." I said with a small laugh, and a few more tears fell from my eyes.

He brushed them away. "Listen, Mer, you are my best friend. You're basically the only thing that kept me going after the sinking. We're going to get through this." he took my hand and held it tight, "Together."

Later on, Spencer and I were on the couch. I was leaning against him, holding a book on art. There were all sorts of wonderful sketches and paintings printed onto the pages.

Spencer pointed to one painting of tiger lilies. "This is beautiful. You know what it reminds me of?" I turned my head towards him. "You."

I smirked at the corniness, but I must admit, it was sweet. "Thanks." I kiss his cheek.

Harold walked into the room with one of the maids.

"Harold, welcome." I said and stood up, placing the book on the coffee table, and going to hug my brother.

"Hey, Mer. Long time, no see." he said sarcastically.

Spencer got up and walked over to us. "Good to see you again, Harold."

Harold hesitated for a moment. "Good to see you too." he finally replied, and shook Spencer's hand.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to get Ellie." I said, and gave a warning look to Harold before leaving the room, just in case he had any plans of talking, or killing, Spencer.

Once in the kitchen, I saw my kitten curled up into a tiny ball in her basket, sound asleep. I picked her up, and she opened her eyes and purred. I carried her into the sitting room, and snuck up behind my brother. I placed Ellie on the top of his head. He jumped slightly, and then took her off his head, placing the kitten in his lap and stroking her from head to tail.

"She's adorable." Harold said, and wouldn't let go of the kitten for a long time.

"So I assume you don't just think she's a filthy hairball?" I asked, remembering our earlier conversation.

"Not at all."

The three of us played with Ellie, and talked until dinner, and then after supper we all went back to talking in the sitting room over tea and coffee until nearly midnight.

"Oh jeez, it's late." Harold stood up from the sofa. "I had better get going to my hotel room, and you need to get your rest. You're going to be getting married tomorrow."

I then remembered, and felt a small sense of dread in my stomach. I still hadn't gotten used to the idea of getting married, but it was definitely too late now to have second thoughts.

Harold left, and Spencer and I both retired to our own rooms. Tomorrow was going to be a very busy day.

Around seven in the morning, Aunt Gwen came into my room with three of her maids. They woke me up and made me get out of bed.

"Good morning, Meredith. It's your special day." Aunt Gwen said cheerfully.

They led me to the bathroom, and allowed my to take a bath. I laid in the warm water, just soaking for a while. This was the day… My stomach was doing cartwheels and I couldn't seem to calm it. Once I got out and dried myself off, I suddenly fell ill, and threw up again in the garbage can. That's when I remembered, I was pregnant. There was no turning back now. I placed my hands gently on my lower abdomen. It was hard to believe there was something living there. Something I created.

They dried and brushed my hair, putting it into a ponytail for the time being. Two maids began to lightly apply makeup to my face. I asked them to make me look natural, and they did. Aunt Gwen got my dress from the closet. It was exactly has we had discussed with the dressmaker. They helped me into it, and I had to say, it looked beautiful. My hair was then tied back into an elaborate bun. And voila! I was a beautiful, blushing bride.

Aunt Gwen told the maids to leave, and she shut the door behind them, returning to me. I sat on the edge of my bed, and she moved my dressing table chair over and sat by me.

"Now, Meredith, today is very important. I know this was all so sudden, but it will be best for you. He will take care of you, and you of him."

Her blue eyes looked sincere and her expression seemed softer than usual.

She grasped my hands with hers. "I've seen the two of you together. So young, and so full of life and love. You do love him, right?"

I hesitated for a moment, but then nodded slightly and nervously.

Her eyes searched my face suspiciously. "Is something the matter?"

I looked down at my lap. "No, ma'am. Nothing important."

"What's on your mind, dearie?" she asked caringly.

I began slowly. I might as well tell her what has been torturing me for months. "I had feelings for another man, back in April. On the ship, I met a friend of Harold's. Another officer, named James. Very handsome, and kind, and caring. He was wonderful. I think you might even have approved of him, despite his social class and lack of wealth. He died, unfortunately. I care for Spencer, and I love him. I really do. But I still have feelings for James, nagging at the back of my mind and clawing at my already fragile heart." I spoke hurriedly, and took a deep breath once I finished.

"Meredith, I'm so sorry… I hardly know what to say." She moved to sit next to me on my bed and placed her arm around my shoulders. "Your parents arrived this morning. They're at a hotel and will meet us at the church. Your father is going to walk you down the aisle. If that makes you feel any better."

I smiled, thinking about how good it will be to see my parents' faces again. I missed them terribly.

"That boy you met, I am sure he was a good man, but he is gone now. I wish I could help, but it's a bit too late to do anything about it. You'll be marrying Spencer, and have to forget about that other man. It's difficult, but it's what must be done. You do understand?"

I nodded slowly.

"Is there anything else bothering you?" she asked.

I hesitated nervously. "No, Aunt Gwen. Nothing. Although I would like to thank you for your generosity and kindness. It was nice of you to take me in to your home and treat me so well."

"You're quite welcome, my dear." she gave me a gentle hug. "I had no children of my own, you know. But I've come to think of you almost like a daughter. If you ever need anything at all, feel free to come to me."

I smiled gratefully at her. She stood up, and picked up a veil from my dressing table. She delicately placed it onto my head. "Ah. There. Perfect."

I stood up, and walked over to my long mirror again. I spun around slowly, examining how different, yet beautiful I looked. It was a bit surreal. Aunt Gwen stood behind me, with her hands on my shoulders. "Today will be great. Don't you worry." she kissed my cheek lightly, and gave me a reassuring smile that I saw through the mirror.

Then she left, and I struck a few poses in front of the mirror, while I practiced the most life changing line I'd ever have to say: 'I do'.

There was a knock on my door, and I hear Tracy say "Miss Meredith, it's time for you to leave. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." I muttered to myself, and then called to Tracy, "Yes. I'll be down in a moment."

Taking one last look at myself, I lifted up the skirt of my gown a bit and proceeded down to the parlor where Aunt Gwen was now waiting, dressed in a lavender, high necked, lacy dress.

The cars were pulled around front, and I was helped into one by a driver. I rested my forehead against the window, and watched the city go by as we were on our way to the church.

Once we arrived, the driver helped me out of the car carefully, and as soon as my feet were on the ground, a body ran into my and wrapped their arms around me. "My darling Meredith!" It was my mother. I hugged her as tightly as she hugged me.

"Mama! Oh, how I've missed you!"

She looked just like she did when I last saw her. She had tears in her eyes, and her thin lips were pulled into a sincere smile. There were a few wrinkles, but they made her appear to be gracefully aging. She was always beautiful in my eyes. Today she wore her dark brown hair in a tight bun, and she was in a light peach colored dress I remember she wore for my brother Edgar's wedding a few years ago. She was lovely, and everything I wished to one day be.

Behind her was my father, who I embraced next. He was looking smart in a simple suit and a navy blue tie. His hair, once a light brown, was still gray as it had been for years. Mostly my brothers' doing, I assume, seeing as they drove him mad.

"My dear. You look radiant." He was grasping both of my hands and speaking with such sincerity.

"Thanks, daddy." I kissed his cheek.

My two older brothers who had still been residing in Wales, George and Edgar, hugged me at the same time. "Georgie! Eddie! It's been too long." I exclaimed. I had really missed my whole family.

George's wife, Enid, greeted me, and then their ten year old son, Dylan did as well. Then Edgar and his two daughters, Joanna and Louisa, aged seven and four. I used to watch then when Edgar had to work and his wife, Kendra, had to work.

"Kendra wanted to be here, but her mother fell ill. So she went to see her, while I brought the girls here." he explained.

"I hope her mother feels better, and I'll have to come visit sometime. I miss her."

Arthur showed up a moment later with Jenny, and his wife Sarah, who, being nine months pregnant, appeared ready to burst any moment. She managed to hug me, despite the large bump under her dress.

I looked behind me and saw Harold walking towards us.

He saw me, and walked faster. "Oh, Merry. You look beautiful." he was in awe.

"Thanks, Harry."

I then looked to my mother, who was beginning to cry. "All of my children together again. I never thought I'd see this."

My father put his arm around her. "Save some tears for the ceremony, Harriet." he smiled, and led her into the church.

Harold wrapped his arm around my waist gently and walked me inside.

Soon I was sitting nervously in a small room inside the church with my bridesmaids. They were the daughters of a few of my aunt's friends. I didn't know them, nor their families, who were also invited.

The girls were all wearing cheerful sky blue dresses and hats.

There was a knock at the door, and one of the girls went to answer it. "Who is it?" she asked, opening the door just an inch.

"Spencer."

I froze in my chair.

"You can't see your bride before the wedding. It's bad luck." The girl shut the door completely.

I could then hear his muffled voice, "Come on!" he whined. "How about if you girls all leave, and allow her and I to have a private conversation through the door? I won't look at her. I promise."

They looked to me, and I nodded. They filed out the door one by one. I stood up and walked to the door, closing it except for a small crack. I leaned against it. "Spencer?" I whispered.

"Meredith. Hey." he whispered from my other side. "How are you feeling?"

"A bit nervous. But I haven't gotten sick yet this morning. So that's good."

"That's good." I could sense he was smiling as he spoke. "So… This is it."

"Yea…"

"You nervous?"

"I already told you. Yes."

"Oh." he laughed nervously. I could tell he was a bit more than I was.

I could hear footsteps, and suddenly another voice. "Spencer, you have to get in there. We're starting soon."

"Alright." he answered, and then turned his attention back to me, "I'll see you soon, Mer."

I put my full weight against the door and let it close completely, and then sunk down to the floor. My hand was against my chest and I tried to control my breathing.

A few minutes later, I had gotten up due to a knock on the door. The bridesmaids were back. "Miss Meredith, it's time to begin." I could hear the organ playing faintly in the background.

I nodded. "Alright." I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

One girl handed me my bouquet of yellow roses. We all went into the hall outside the two closed doors leading into the wedding. The bridesmaids lines up next to the men that had been gathered for Spencer. I stood behind them all, and my father walked over to stand by my side. "Nervous?"

I linked arms with him, "More than I ever have been in my life."

He chuckled. "Sounds like your mother on our wedding day. But she said once she saw me standing at the end of the aisle, the nerves went away."

The organ started up again, this time with the wedding march, and the doors opened. Everyone filed in slowly, two by two, as all the guests stood up. There were a few reporters at the side of the room. I guess a gathering of wealthy people at a wedding of two Titanic survivors is the best story they could come up with at the moment.

Finally, I entered the room. There were blue ribbons tied to each row of pews, and yellow roses adorning the area around where I would soon be standing next to my husband to be. And that's when I looked at him. He wore a suit, and there was a yellow rose hanging out of his pocket. Aunt Gwen wanted to keep us coordinated. My father was right. My nerves disappeared. Coming out of my fog of thoughts, I noticed my father handing me off to Spencer at the alter, and he kissed my cheek.

Spencer took my hands and led me up the one step. Then he smiled at me. I smiled back.

The organ stopped, and the priest gave a short prayer, then opened his book. "We are gathered here today to witness these two come together in holy matrimony under the eyes of God. It is always a momentous and wonderful occasion when we can witness the coming together of two souls. Before we hear the vows we must look upon the words of God concerning love. From first Corinthians, the thirteenth chapter, verses four to seven. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

He went on, but I wasn't paying attention. I was looking at the man standing across from me. I'd grown to care more for him over the past few days. The only thing stopping me was my feelings for James. I still missed him, but I couldn't let it affect my life. I was getting married, and would be a mother next year. There was a lot going on, and I just had to dive right in.

"Now, do you, Spencer Lucas Welch, take Meredith Wynne Lowe to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, through sickness and in health, richer and poorer, to be forever faithful to just her, until death do you part?"

"I do." he said right away. Perhaps a bit too quickly, and he noticed. I could see him blushing.

Then the priest turned to me. "Do you, Meredith Wynne Lowe, take Spencer Lucas Welch to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, through sickness and in health, richer and poorer, to be forever faithful to him, until death do you part?"

"I-" I felt morning sickness finally coming on. Oh no… Not now…. "I do." I was able to get it out. I was trying to use deep breathing to keep my nausea down.

"Now, if anyone here has any reason these two should not be wed, please speak now or forever hold your peace." There was silence. "Then I now pronounce you both husband and wife. Sir, you may kiss your bride."

He took a step towards me, and pressed his lips to mine. After a second I pulled my lips away subtly.

"What's wrong?" he whispered worriedly.

"Nausea. Sorry."

"It's alright." he kissed my cheek, and the wrapped his arm around my waist. We walked down the aisle while everyone stood and clapped.

He led me out into the hall. "The bathroom is right there." he pointed to the door down the hall. "Hurry."

I lifted up the skirt of my dress and rushed down the hall, throwing open the bathroom door, shutting it as softly as I could, and then I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet.

Harold walked into the bathroom, and saw me on the floor. "Spencer told me you were in here. He didn't quite have the guts to walk into the ladies' bathroom."

"But I see you did." I replied while wiping the corners of my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Well it takes a real man to walk into a ladies' bathroom, you know. I came in here to make sure you're alright, Mrs. Welch." he held out his hand for me.

"I'm alright." I took his hand and stood up.

"Come on. They're all waiting for you. They have to throw rice and take pictures."

I looked at the mirror and fixed myself up. Harold led me out of the bathroom and out to the doors leading out of the church. The sun was so bright it nearly blinded me at first. Spencer took me from Harold, and placed his arm around my waist again. "Feeling better?"

"Yes." The reporters swarmed around, taking pictures. Their flashbulbs were going off one after another. "Seems more like a big news scoop than a wedding. Why do they care so much?"

"We're apparently proof of something good coming out of the disaster."

We posed for a few photographs, and then the reporters left to write their stories.

Now it was back to Aunt Gwen's house to have our reception in her large garden. On the large stone patio, Spencer and I had our first dance together as husband and wife, and all around us were beautiful flowers. Who could have pictured such a perfect moment? We all laughed and talked and the hours just drifted away. Such a wonderful night, condensed into a blur of a memory.

I tossed my bouquet, and Jenny caught it. Arthur of course, took it from her, and handed the flowers to his wife. Jenny, being only five, certainly wouldn't be marrying anybody soon. I laughed, and then picked my niece up, twirling her around.

By ten at night, most of the party had retired. My parents said their tearful goodbyes. They had to get back home and would be leaving tomorrow. My brothers Edgar and George too along with their families. Oh how I'd miss them all again.

Spencer and I would be leaving for our honeymoon to Europe in two days, and now, as the maids cleaned up from the party, we went upstairs to his bedroom. I went to open his door, but he stopped me, and in one quick motion, picked me up. He then tried to open the door. "I probably should've done this first."

"Here. Let me." I reached over and turned the knob, and he pushed the door open. He gingerly placed me onto the bed, and went to shut the door.

"So… Mrs. Spencer Welch. How are you feeling?" he asked softly, coming towards me.

I was laying on his bed, with my head on the pillows, but I was on my side so I could look at him. "Tired." I answered, and closed my eyes, pretending to fall asleep.

"Oh." he sounded disappointed and sat down on the side of the bed, facing away from me. He was taking his shoes off. I know because I could hear them hit the floor. One then the other. I quietly shifted myself and quickly wrapped my arms around him, pulling him down onto myself so his back was against my stomach. He laughed. "Sneaky."

"I can be sneakier." I sat up, shifting him over a bit so I'd be able to, and I leaned over him to place a kiss on his lips. I smiled against his mouth. "See. You never saw that coming, now did you?"

"Not at all." he moved so he was sitting up too, and he placed his hand on the back of my neck and kissed me. Somehow I ended up laying on my back, and he was hovering over me, tracing my collarbone with kisses.

I slipped his suit jacket off of him, and was unbuttoning his shirt, which was thrown on the floor. I sat up a bit so he could unhook the back of my dress, which took a bit longer than expected, but he got it. That was soon slipped off, along with my dreaded corset which I was glad to be rid of. He began to shimmy out of his pants, and eventually, all clothing ended up strewn on the bedroom floor, and he and I were under the covers, entirely him and I. Just us. He was still over me, and kissing me passionately. He stopped, and looked at me seriously.

"I'm not going to hurt the baby, am I?"

"No. I don't believe so. It'll be fine."

"You sure?" How cute. Not even a father yet and he's already concerned about his child.

"I'm sure, Spencer. Now just do this before I change my mind and actually do go to bed." I said jokingly.

"You wouldn't do that to me. You're not that mean."

"You sure? I can be pretty mean." I answered coyly.

"You're not mean. You're sweet." he kissed me, "And beautiful." he kissed me again, "And perfect." and again, "And everything I've ever wanted." he kissed me again, and didn't stop. He caressed me all over, and nibbled my ear a bit, which tickled.

"Spencer…" I gasped.

He stopped, and smirked at me. "I love you, Mer."

"I love you too." I smiled.

I'm sure you can guess what happened next. And again soon after that. And for a third time, before we finally went to bed. I laid under the covers, with my back against his chest, and his arm around my middle. I fell asleep to the rhythm of his breath in my ear, and the beat of his heart against my spine.

_

* * *

_

So for those of you who didn't see my authors note I posted earlier today, I had some personal issues to deal with. Some bad depression and anxiety, and I got out of a long, but not so good relationship. Things are starting to look up though. I was also in Arizona for a week and couldn't bring my laptop with me. I pushed myself today to work on this. It's now about 2 AM in New Jersey, and I'm very tired. I hope it was worth it. There are more chapters to come. Chapter 15 will be up soon. I hope you all won't mind if the next chapter skips a little bit of time. I hope you all haven't abandoned me. I love this story and will keep writing it. I just need to stop letting my issues get in the way. Thank you for reading chapter 14. Chapter 15 will be posted as soon as possible. Thank you! Please review.


	15. Chapter XV

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter XV**_

I leaned over the white wooden bassinet and smiled before lifting up the small bundle wrapped in a yellow blanket. I held the infant against my chest. Ellie was in the room as well, rubbing her cheek against my shin.

"Ma'am." I heard the meek voice of our shy maid, Ginger, "If you're ready, I'll take the child from you." she held out her arms. I hugged the baby closer to me. "I assure you, ma'am, he's in good hands."

She was right. She and the rest of the staff in our home in New Hampshire were more than capable of handling my son. They were very good with him. I just didn't want to let him go.

I looked at the sleeping infant's face. Like an angel, he was. His eyes were blue, like mine, and he had light brown fuzz on his head, which would likely turn out like his father's. He was nearly four months old now, which was hard to believe. His birth seemed like yesterday to me. Painful, yes, but after I got to hold him and look at him, he became the most important thing in my life. I named him Adam James, after two people who were lost, but were always in my thoughts. We call him AJ for short. He was born March 6th, 1913, about a month and a half after Spencer and I returned home from our long tour around Europe. We went everywhere, including Wales. He got to see my home country, and I got to visit my family again. By the time we saw my family I was already showing, so they could all tell right away. My parents were excited that they'd be having another grandchild. In March, everybody just assumed the child was born early. Nobody questioned a thing, lucky for Spencer and I.

I handed over AJ to Ginger, and then turned to the mirror in the room to check my hair one final time. It was elaborately pinned back, with pins that had small pearly white beads on the end. I was wearing a dress that was teal at the bottom, and faded into white at the top. The sleeves were short and loose, and there was a thick teal ribbon in around my waist, with the bow tied in the back.

I walked out of the bedroom and into the hall, where I saw Spencer exiting the bathroom. "You look ravishing." he came to me and kissed my cheek.

"You don't look so bad yourself."

"When are people arriving again?" he asked me, for the eighth time today.

"Your mother said she sent out the invitations to say six-thirty."

My mother-in-law, Trina Welch, lived just two streets away. If she stood on her third floor balcony, and I stood at the topmost window in my house, we would be able to see one another. Today was July 4th, 1913, making it Spencer and mine's first anniversary, and tonight we would be celebrating in a room filled with rich strangers, some of his family, and co-workers.

Spencer took over Welch Steel Co. when we returned to the United States, and had his father's job of running the whole place. The men who had been running the company since Vernon Welch's death were now overseeing the power's transition into Spencer's young hands. They were to train him, and help him, and they were basically his bosses for the next year until they would stand down and allow Spencer to take full control.

After the wedding, Spencer received his money from his late father, and half of Adam's which was split between him and his mother now. We were able to buy a lovely home, larger than we'd ever need. It has three floors. Four bathrooms, five bedrooms, a kitchen, a dining room, a ballroom, a parlor, and a few other rooms we've been unable to find uses for. The house is larger than we need. Mrs. Welch would like us to be able to fill the extra bedrooms up with future children.

There is even a garden in the backyard filled with bright vibrant flowers and a stone fountain in the middle. A nice place to go sit with the baby, or to read while he is napping.

The doorbell rang, and I rushed down the stairs just as one of the maids was opening the door. Aunt Gwen and Trina entered.

We embraced and exchanged formalities, and then I led them into the large ballroom, which was decorated tastefully for the event. Soon enough, many more people arrived. Mostly friends of Mrs. Welch, or co-workers of Spencer. Aunt Gwen came by train that afternoon, and stayed with Mrs. Welch 'til now.

Everything seemed to be going well. I said a few hellos to my guests, and had a few pointless conversations. Many of the women were asking about the baby, mostly. He was my favorite thing to talk about. He was the light of my life.

A popular upbeat song began to be played by the band, and the women around me left to go dance with their husbands. I was alone, sipping a glass of wine, and watching everyone else. Why wasn't my husband dancing with me like the others? Well the answer is he was too busy. I looked over to the opposite corner of the room and saw Spencer, with his business associates. One, Dill Coughlin, was tall and a bit heavy set. He was middle-aged, married, and yet still attempted to win young women's hearts at social events. Then there was Gene Glynis, who was the oldest of them all. He was shorter, and pudgy. His hair was thinning, receding, and as grey as the sky on a rainy day. Last but not least, or perhaps he is least, there was Ray Hindel, who was one of the snakiest, dishonest bastards I've ever met. He was also married, but liked to play around with his maids, coworkers' wives, anyone. Once he even tried putting the moves on me, for which I promptly slapped him.

The four of them were laughing and drinking brandy, having a good old time so it seemed. I wasn't going to ruin that. Last time I interrupted one of their little gatherings, Spencer took me aside and explained I was getting in the way and that I should go tend to AJ. He was becoming ruder by the day. Hopefully that would just be a phase.

I just wanted this night to end so I could sit in a rocking chair with my precious baby boy again. That was my favorite thing to do. I'd wrap him in my arms, and rock back and forth with him as I hummed a lullaby. I loved AJ more than I thought I could ever love anybody. From even before he was born.

Now we all went outside to the garden, to see some forth of July fireworks going off in the distance. I was enjoying them, but also hoping they wouldn't bother AJ. There I was worrying again. It was something I seemed to do a lot lately.

Sometime after midnight, people went home. It was a boring party. Lovely, but boring none the less. Once the last few people were gone, I stood on the stairs and watched the maid shut the door behind them. I yawned, and went upstairs, to AJ's bedroom. Ginger was in there, sitting in the corner, as AJ was asleep in his crib.

"He fell asleep a few hours ago. He wasn't too fussy, and went to bed easily. I just stayed here to keep an eye on him." she explained.

"Thank you, Ginger. I appreciate it." she left, and I stood over the crib, admiring my sleeping angel.

"Meredith!" I heard Spencer calling from the hall. I rushed out there.

"Spencer!" I hissed as quietly as possibly. "You'll wake your son."

"Sorry." he said insincerely.

"What do you need?"

"I wanted you to come to bed with me. It is our anniversary after all." He said with a pleading look in his eye.

I took one last peek at the baby, and then followed Spencer into our bedroom.

He kissed me, and began undressing himself quickly.

"In a bit of a hurry, aren't you?" I asked, laughing.

I followed suit, slowly taking my dress off. Apparently he was growing impatient, and assisted me, then pushed me onto the bed a bit roughly, but I didn't have a moment to complain because his lips came crashing down on mine. I could smell the brandy on his breath very strongly, and it was making me slightly nauseous, but I was afraid to mention that. He stopped kissing me, and went on with his desires. He wasn't being gentle. He gave that up months ago. I whimpered, and whispered "Spencer, you're hurting me a bit. Could you please ease up?" He didn't.

"Just hold on, I'll be done in a minute."

I bit my lip and tried to bear it. This is how it usually went. Then I heard AJ crying from down the hall. "Spence, stop. I need to go check on the baby."

"Hold on."

"Spencer!" he didn't stop, and pushed me down, until he was satisfied. Then, he kissed my forehead, and went over to his side of the bed.

I jumped up and put on my robe. Walking was difficult at first, but I got through the bit of pain and hurried to my son's nursery to lift him from the crib. "Shh…. It's alright, AJ. Mommy is here." I held him close to my chest, and bounced him lightly. Once he stopped, I carried him over to the rocking chair, and cradled him in my arms, while humming a lullaby. He fell asleep again quickly, but I kept rocking and humming, while a few tears rolled down my cheek. Things had become a bit rocky.

* * *

_Sorry this is short. Chapter 16 is short too. But anywho, as we can see they have a son, and Spencer has changed a bit. How much has he changed? And how much will Meredith tolerate? Go on to the next chapter to find out. Thanks for reading chapter 15. Chapter 16 is up already. Please review. _


	16. Chapter XVI

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter XVI**_

It was now a warm afternoon in the end of August. I was outside with my son who was sitting on the grass, tearing the green blades from the earth. Ellie was outside as well, chasing the sparrows in the yard.

"Ma'am?" I looked up from my child to see our young cook, Beatrix. She was tall and slender, with long light brown hair. She was only a few years older than me, and very attractive. I didn't worry about that though. She was also a very good cook.

"Yes, Beatrix?"

"For tonight's dinner, Mr. Welch will not be here, he told me, due to work complications. I came out here to give you a choice of either chicken or soup tonight."

"Soup will be fine. Thank you." I answered, and she left.

I wasn't too hungry lately. I'd been eating lightly, because my stomach had been a bit sensitive. This morning I barely touched my breakfast, and ended up sick in the bathroom. I know what you might be thinking, and yes, I was expecting a second child. It was unexpected, and I already had my hands full with AJ, that the thought of juggling the responsibility of two babies scared me. I hadn't told Spencer yet. I had planned to tell him over dinner tonight, but since he wouldn't be home, I'd tell him when he got home tonight. Hopefully he would be excited. I was, even though I was nervous.

Later on, I put my son down to sleep in his crib. Then I went down to the dining room, where Beatrix smiled and brought me a steaming bowl of soup. Then she left and went down the hall.

I was feeling a bit sick again, so I entered the kitchen to get a glass of water for myself. Beatrix wasn't in there. I saw the pot of soup still on the stovetop, and beside that on the counter was a suspicious looking bottle. It was empty except for a few drops at the bottom. I picked it up and looked at the label. It said "Arsenic" in big bold green letters. I gasped, and gently placed the bottle on the counter. She put poison in my soup…. I storm out of the kitchen. "Beatrix!" I screamed, and she appeared in the hall.

"Yes, ma'am?" she asked timidly.

"Would you care to explain the empty bottle of poison next to my dinner in the kitchen?"

She was stuttering. "I… I can explain. You see, It was because- well…. Please forgive me."

"Nothing can excuse you for attempting to kill me! Why did you do this?" I screamed at her.

She broke down in tears. "It was in the name of love, ma'am!"

I looked at her curiously. "What do you mean?"

"I fell in love with somebody. Surely you can understand that."

"But who are you in love with?"

"Mr. Welch."

I stopped. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened.

"You see, ma'am, for the past few months, your husband has made advances on me. Eventually, we ended up having a relationship, and I knew I could never have him with you in the way. I don't know what came over me. Please, forgive me. I beg of you."

I scowled at her. "I can't even look at you right now. Go dump the soup down the sink, and go to bed. You're dismissed."

"Dismissed for good, or just for the night?" she asked meekly.

"We'll discuss it tomorrow. Now go!" I screamed angrily, with tears rolling down my cheek.

I sat in the parlor, waiting for Spencer to arrive home. I heard the door open, just as the grandfather clock in the corner struck midnight. His footsteps were heavy, and I heard his hat hit the floor. He must have missed the hook on the coat rack. He walked past the parlor door, and stopped when he saw me sitting there. "Merry? What are you doing sitting in here all alone? Come to bed." he slurred.

"No, Spencer. I don't want to go to bed with you. Maybe ask someone else."

He laughed. "Like who? Come on." he walked into the room and pulled on my arm, "Let's go upstairs."

"Why don't you take Beatrix to bed with you, darling?" I hissed.

His eyes widened. "What?"

"I know." I looked away from him.

"Meredith, Beatrix is our cook. I wouldn't do anything with her." he said, and smiled, hoping I'd believe him.

"But you have."

"No, I haven't!" he snapped defensively.

"Then why did she try to poison my dinner tonight, Spencer?"

His jaw dropped. "She tried to kill you?"

"Yes. Because she is in love with you. Apparently you've given her some reason to think you two could be together. You had an affair with her."

He looked like he was about to say something.

"Don't you dare lie to me." I stated sternly and stuck my finger out at him.

He looked down at his feet. "Yes. I did."

My eyes filled with tears again. "Well, at least you fit in with your stupid friends now…"

"They are not stupid!"

"Oh, please. They're all a bunch of drunks who cheat on their wives, so I guess you felt the need to fit in? Don't even try telling me they had nothing to do with this. You've been different ever since you fell in with their crowd."

"I've been being a man, Meredith."

"No, you've been being a coward." I hoped he could sense the hint of utter disgust in my voice. "And a fraud. And a liar." I crossed my arms tensely. "You're not the man I thought you were."

"When we got back here, that's when life started. We reentered reality, Mer. Not everything is easy. Nor is anything perfect, especially me. If you expected that, you're just as naïve as I thought. I need to do what's best for my job."

"And that would be to cheat, drink, and hurt others. Don't you see what those men have done to you?"

"They are my bosses for the time being! They are teaching me how to be a leader. So stop getting in my way."

"Gladly." I ran up the stairs, and called down, "I'm leaving, but not because you told me to."

"Good!" he screamed.

I returned downstairs with AJ in my arms and a packed bag.

"You're not taking him."

"Of course I am. You didn't think I'd just leave him here with you, did you?"

"Honestly, I wasn't thinking of him at all."

"You never did."

"Don't you dare say that. I think of him a lot. He is my son!" he screamed. "I… I love him." he said, his voice softened a bit.

"Well, I love him too. I need to do what is best for him and I. I'm going to stay with my aunt in New York. Have fun with your harlot and your friends who mean much more to you than the family you promised to love and protect.'

He was quiet.

I approached the door, and held the knob firmly in my hand. "By the way, Spencer, I meant to tell you tonight. I'm pregnant. Now you lose all three of us. You better hope it was worth it." With that I left, and walked quickly down the driveway.

"Meredith!" I heard him yelling from the doorway. "Wait!"

My vision was blurred by tears, but I kept walking.

"Meredith!" I heard his footsteps behind me, running.

I quickened my pace.

He grabbed onto my bag. "Please, wait, Meredith."

I tried to pull my bag away, and finally succeeded. AJ began to cry as I held him with one arm.

I turned again, but Spencer wrapped his arms around me from behind. "Mer, please, don't go. Listen, we can work this out."

"Leave me alone."

"Please, Meredith! Don't leave me." he said in a pleading tone.

I wiggled from his arms and freed myself. "Leave me be." I said calmly. "Goodbye, Spencer."

I left him standing there, as I walked out of the gates, and walked down the dark street.

* * *

_Spencer changed for the worst. Meredith has left him. Will things work out? You'll have to wait for the next few chapters to find out. They might be about this length as well. Or I may combine stuff. I'm not sure yet. Anywho, thanks for reading this chapter. Please review. Pretty please with sugar on top? Haha. Chapter 17 will be up soon. _


	17. Chapter XVII

**_Overprotective_**

**_Chapter XVII_**

"You did what?" Aunt Gwen shrieked so loudly I feared she might cause the roof to cave in.

"I left Spencer." I repeated to her again.

"Meredith Wynne Lowe Welch! How dare you leave him! After everything, why would you do something so irresponsible?" She continued to yell, and I could clearly hear the welsh accent she had tried for years to slip out of, but it still managed to come out when she was angry.

I had appeared on her doorstep that evening, with my bag in one hand and my son in the other. I had taken a train back to New York, and then a taxi to her house. I thought she'd be more enthusiastic to see me, but I was wrong.

"Didn't you think about your son at all? You have to go back!"

"Gwen!" I screamed over her. "That is enough!" she looked at me, shocked. "I was thinking about my son. AJ is my top priority, which I why I took him with me. And so is my other child." I saw her staring at me, wide eyed. "Yes, before you ask, I am once again expecting. I'll do anything to protect my babies. I left Spencer because he was out drinking with his coworkers nearly every night, he was becoming uncaring and rude, and he was having an affair with the cook."

"That's just how men are."

"How they are? Aunt Gwen, you expect me to go back to that? He changed, and I can't stand it."

"You just have to be tolerant. Let these things roll off your back. A lady always stands by her husband, no matter how terrible he may be. Cry in private and keep your emotions to yourself, and be submissive. It's how my marriage was too. Then I learned how to keep it going. This is what many women have to go through, and leaving is not the answer. He has money and he has taken care of you. Go back, Meredith."

"No! This is absurd! Why should I? I thought marriage was about love, not hiding feelings and receiving unjust treatment. My father never did this to my mother. They actually love each other."

"Because they chose each other. They don't have money or power. They're not in society like we are. We're in a whole different world."

"I didn't ask to be in this world."

"Well, it's too late, Meredith. You're in it."

I was quiet for a moment, and allowed the tension to ease a bit between us. "So, I guess this means I can't stay here."

"No. What kind of aunt would I be if I turned you and the baby away? My brother would kill me. Go take your bag upstairs and go to bed. We'll find a crib for you tomorrow to put AJ in."

"Thank you, ma'am."

I went back to my old room that I hadn't slept in for over a year. I placed my bag on the floor, and put AJ on the bed. I laid down on one side of him, and placed a few pillows on the other side of him so he wouldn't roll off.

"Goodnight, my sweet boy." I kissed the top of his head, and placed my hand over him protectively, before drifting off to sleep.

The next morning, I awoke slowly, and then suddenly noticed AJ was no longer next to me. I began frantically looking around until I saw a bassinet in the corner. Aunt Gwen must have had somebody bring her one and the maids must have brought it up and placed him inside while I was asleep. I sighed a breath of relief to see he was safely asleep.

I went over to the desk in the corner and pulled out a bit of paper from the drawer along with a pen and began to write.

_Dear Harry,_

_I left Spencer. I am staying at Aunt Gwen's for the time being. I'll explain more whenever you're able to get to New York again. I miss you and I hope all is well. _

_Love, Merry._

I would mail that out later. I needed my brother with me.

I picked up AJ from the bassinet and brought him downstairs to the dining room. I sat in a chair and held him on my lap. He smiled at me, and in his face I saw Spencer. My eyes teared a bit, but I wiped them away quickly. Perhaps if I just stayed busy, I'd be fine.

So that's what I did. I offered my assistance to the maids, which they graciously accepted. They allowed me to change bed sheets and sweep the parlor floor.

Aunt Gwen entered the parlor and stopped the moment she saw me. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Cleaning." I answered simply, and continued.

"I can see that, but what I want to know is why."

"Just trying to keep myself occupied, you know?" I responded quickly, sweeping with more determination than before. My anger causing the dust to become airborne.

She walked over to me and put her hand on the broom, stopping me. "You need to stop, Meredith. I pay people to do work like this. You are my niece, and a guest. What you need is to relax, please."

I slumped down onto the couch and allowed the broom to clatter on the hard wood floor.

Aunt Gwen sat beside me, and placed an arm around my shoulders. "How about you go out for a nice walk with the baby? I was able to find a stroller when I arranged for the bassinet to be delivered here. I think AJ would fancy a nice walk in the sunshine, don't you?"

I smiled slightly. I would really rather continue being helpful, but because Aunt Gwen insisted, I went to wake AJ up from his nap, and carry him down stairs. Tracy brought the stroller into the hallway, and I placed him inside. It was made of brass, and the basket was covered in maroon velvet. The interior was comfortable, and perfect for AJ to continue his nap in.

I wheeled him outside into the sun, and lifted the hood on the stroller so he would have some shade.

I missed New York. I missed having Harold nearby, and having the old Spencer to hang out with.

There was a park up ahead, and I found a bench that looked clean. I parked Adam's stroller beside it, and took him out, sitting him on my lap. "Hey, handsome." he smiled at me. His smile would definitely make a few girls weak in the knees one day. He was looking more and more like Spencer every day. I couldn't help but let a tear slide down my face. Why did he do this to me? I tried to be a good wife…

My one tear must have turned into loud gasping sobs, because soon somebody had rushed over to me.

"Excuse me, miss. Are you alright? Can I help you with anything?" He was tall, with auburn curls on the top of his head.

I replied with another sob.

He sat down beside me. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No." I choked out.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

AJ began to cry on my lap. I attempted to calm him down, while still crying. This only seemed to make everything worse. The man took him from me, and bounced him on his knee gently, until he finally settled down.

I wiped a tear from my eye. "Thank you."

"It's nothing." he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to me.

"No, it's fine."

"Please." he then wiped my face himself. "There. You're looking better already. Come with me. Let me buy you a cup of coffee, and you can tell me all about this little guy right here." he pointed to my son, and then offered me his hand.

I went with him to the coffee shop around the corner. He paid for two cups, and carried them over to our table. "Now that you seemed calmed down a bit, what's your name?"

"Meredith Welch." I answered, taking a sip from my mug.

"I'm Sam Havens." he shook my hand. "I sense an accent in your voice. Are you from the United Kingdom? Wales, am I right?"

I nodded. "Yes, I'm from northern Wales."

Then, in a Welsh accent, he responded, "I was born there. Lived in Wales 'til I was ten. Then my parents moved here."

"I was there until last year. April, 1912. I came over with my Aunt."

"April of 1912? Damn, that was a crazy time here. Were you around when the Titanic came in? It was a madhouse."

I thought back to that crowd at the pier when the Carpathia docked. Madhouse was a very good term…

"Meredith?" He waved his hand in front of my face. "Are you alright?"

"Yea." I snapped back to reality.

"Did I say something bad? Did you lose any relatives in the disaster? If you did, I'm sorry I brought it up. It was something that affected everyone."

"Some people more than others… Yes, I did lose a few people. Friends of mine."

"I'm sorry." he replied sincerely. But this sounded muffled to me because I was mentally far away. Clarissa had been pregnant, and she and Adam could have had a lovely future together. James and I could have tried a relationship. He would have probably been better than Spencer. Emma had a whole family back home to support. Now they were probably all split up in orphanages. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I jumped.

"Meredith?"

"I tried to save them. I really did." I said plainly. Then I noticed a few tears had rolled down my cheek.

"Are you alright? Honestly?"

"Yes. Just… I… I don't know." It's like the pain Spencer caused me was also causing the pain of the sinking to come back.

He was quiet for a few seconds. "You can tell me. I just want to help."

"I was on the Titanic. I don't wish to talk about it now."

"Oh. I apologize. I didn't mean to bring it up. I had no idea."

"It's fine. I was Meredith Lowe then, and I married another survivor." I looked down at my mug. "That sure worked out…" I commented sarcastically.

"Whatever happened, it's the past. You seem like a smart girl and you can definitely move on from this."

I slightly smiled. "I'm just worried I'll be unable to care for my son now that I've left my husband."

"Any guy who would let you go must be an idiot. You'll do fine with your son. He looks happy now." he pointed at AJ, who was sitting happily on my lap, staring out the window. "And you'll find someone else. Someone who cares and appreciates you for the lovely young woman you are."

I found myself smiling more genuinely.

Sam walked me and AJ home, and over the next few days, he and I would take walks in the park. Sometimes I'd even leave AJ with my aunt. It took me a few days, but I found him trustworthy, and amiable. He was somebody to talk to.

One afternoon as we walked through the park, he stopped to pick a flower. "It matches your blouse."

"Well look at you being so fashion savvy."

He put it in my hair. "There. Beautiful."

"Yes, it is."

"I didn't mean the flower." he grinned.

Over the week, he made me forget mostly about my problems with Spencer. When I was with him, I was happy and distracted. When I was home alone, I cried. So I just hung out with him everyday, and the more I was around him, the more I felt like I almost needed him. Like a drug, since without his companionship, I was miserable.

At home, I heard the doorbell ring and I rushed down the stairs smoothing down a few wrinkles on my skirt. I got to the door before Iris did, and opened it to see Sam. We were going to dinner.

"You look lovely."

"Thanks." I smiled, looking down at my lavender blouse, and long purple skirt.

We walked three blocks to a small tavern, where we took our seats at a oval shaped wooden table with a little candle on it.

"This is cozy." I commented. The atmosphere of the place was very warm and inviting, and the chattering of conversations around the room took away any sort of awkward silence there could have been in the background. But the candlelight upon both of there faces at the small table made it seem like it was only them in the room.

We ordered a few glasses of beer, and sipped them. I wasn't very hungry. The fact that I was expecting another child was causing my stomach to be upset.

"What would you like to eat?" he asked, while looking over a menu.

"Actually, Sam, I'm not that hungry." I answered, while putting my hand over my stomach subconsciously.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked, worriedly.

"Yes, I'm fine." I smiled. "But I will get another glass of beer." I didn't want to think about the baby at the moment, or about Spencer, or about anything. For one night, I just wanted to forget.

And forget about everything, I did. After who the hell knows how many glasses I consumed, Sam was escorting me to a tall apartment building a few streets away, and we were giggling like schoolchildren the whole way.

"Shhh… You'll wake my neighbors." he said as he put the key in the door of room 12. Once he pushed the door open, he led me inside. After he'd closed the door, he kissed me strongly, and I returned it with such enthusiasm, he ended up against a dresser. I could feel him smiling against my lips. His arms slipped around my waist, and his fingertips were lightly crawling one by one up my back, causing me to shiver and giggle uncontrollably. The laughter ceased when he pressed his lips to mine again, and moved his hands up my torso and around to the front of my blouse, where he then attempted to undo my buttons.

I looked down and watched his hands work quickly on my buttons, as he undid a few, revealing cleavage. He smirked, and looked up at me. He stopped with the buttons for the moment, and cupped my face in his hands, then next thing I know, I'm laying on my back on his bed in the other room, with him beside me. He was still kissing me, and had his hand resting on my hip.

Suddenly, we were interrupted by a knocking at the door. He groaned, and kissed me quickly, "Excuse me for just a second." he got up, left the room, and shut the door. I could still hear him though, yelling irritably at his visitor. Then they must have been speaking in hushed tones, because I couldn't hear a thing.

I sat up, and saw a bedside table beside me. Out of curiosity, I opened it, to find a stack of torn envelopes and letters. All addressed to a man named Richard Grolin. I picked up a letter, and even in my drunken stupor, I managed to read it. It was from a woman named Kristen, who was begging Richard to come back home. I looked at a few more, and all were the same. Then I found a picture under the stack of letters. It was of a family of five. Beside a very plain looking woman, and behind three adorable young kids, was Sam. I turned the photograph over to see "The Grolin Family. 1911. Richard, Kristen, Richie, Billy, and Amelia."

My hand flew to my mouth. It couldn't be…

I heard footsteps approaching, and I threw everything back in the drawer, and shut it before the door opened.

"Sorry about that. An acquaintance of mine stopped by. I sent the jerk home." he began to unbutton his shirt, and took it off, throwing it to the floor. He came towards me. 'Now where were we?" he asked seductively, leaning in for another kiss.

I put my palm against his chest to stop him. "I was just leaving." I stood up, but he pushed me back down.

"Why? We're having fun."

"You're a liar." I hissed. "How's the family doing, Richard?" I asked, angrily. He just stared at me, scared. "I found the letters from your wife. The one you never mentioned. You left her, and your children! What kind of man are you, coming to the city to trick young women?"

"Listen, that man isn't me. It's all some sort of misunderstanding. Merry, please-" he took a step near me, but I put my knee up and stopped him.

"Move one more inch closer to me, and you'll find my fist dug so far into your face, nobody will even have a chance at identifying you." he stepped back. "Now, explain."

"Fine." his voice suddenly sounded squeakier. "I'm Rich Grolin, from Michigan. I left my family, and came here. And I'm pretty much a conman. Happy?" he stared irritably at me, "By the way, I've never even been the Wales," then in a perfect mockery, "But I can fake the accent pretty well, eh? I had you going. Even got you in my bed. If you hadn't been snooping through my drawers, I'd had gotten what I wanted."

"You make me sick." I stood up, and pushed him out of the way. "Rot in hell." I spat, before storming out of the apartment. As I rushed down the stairs, I buttoned up my blouse again. Once outside, I ran a few blocks, and stopped with my back against a brick wall to catch my breath. Then the tears fell, and I sunk down to the sidewalk. How dare he… I had almost done things with him. I had almost fallen for him. I…. I had used him to help mask my pain. Now, the very thought of him makes me sick. All I could think about at the moment, was how badly I needed to see AJ and hold him. His angelic face could make anything bad go away for at least a moment.

I hurried down the street, walking several blocks until I was outside Aunt Gwen's house. The gate was locked, so I grasped the metal bars tightly and shook them. "Somebody! Please. It's Meredith. Let me in!"

A butler, hearing the racket, came outside and let me in. I thanked him, as he escorted me inside.

Aunt Gwen was standing in the entrance hall. "Meredith? What are you doing here?" she asked curiously.

"What do you mean? I came home."

She was silent. I ran upstairs to go to my bedroom and see my son. "Meredith! Wait!"

"One minute, Aunt Gwen!" I yelled back. I threw open my bedroom door, and approached the bassinet. It was empty. I looked around and saw my bags opened and their contents thrown around on the floor.

I ran out into the hall, and bumped into Iris. "Have you seen my son?" I asked her worriedly.

"No, ma'am, I haven't." she replied.

I hurried down the stairs, "Aunt Gwen!" She was right where I left her. I took a deep breath. "Where is AJ?"

"Oh dear…" she muttered, placing her hand to her head.

"Where is my baby?"

"Meredith, Spencer came by. He told me he had found you, and you both worked everything out. He told me he had come to pick up the baby and a few of your things, and that you'd both be heading home to New Hampshire tonight."

My jar dropped. My husband had kidnapped my child. "Aunt Gwen," I brushed away a tear, "I haven't seen Spencer since I left. He lied to you."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know-"

"Just stop." I interrupted her. Then I sighed.

After a moment, she decided to speak again, "What are you going to do?"

"Harold is supposed to arrive tomorrow. I'll take him with me. We're going to New Hampshire, and getting my child back." I stated determinedly, placing my hand over my abdomen to protect my other child.

* * *

_Yea, I know this chapter is terrible and it has been a long wait. Things have gotten bad again. But I am trying. I wasn't sure what to do, so I created a sleazy sort of character to create a bit of action. I hope it is alright to all of you. The next chapter will be posted as soon as I can write it. Please review. Good or bad. I just like feedback. Thank you. Love, Kelly._


	18. Chapter XVIII

**_Overprotective_**

**_Chapter XVIII_**

I heard the cab door shut outside, and rushed down the stairs. As soon as the maid opened the door, I threw my arms around my brother.

He lifted me up. "Merry!"

When he put me down, I still had my arms around him and I rested my head against his shoulder. "Harry, I've missed you so much. I really need you here." I whined, and felt like once again I was going to cry.

"I know." he stroked my hair softly.

I pulled away, "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too. So where is my nephew? I haven't even had a chance to meet him yet in six months." he smiled.

I wasn't sure how to answer. I stared down at the tiled floor, "Listen, Harry, you and I need to take the train to New Hampshire."

"Why? Mer, what's going on?"

"Last night, I was out, and when I came home, AJ was gone. Spencer took him."

My brother's eyes widened. "He kidnapped him?"

"Yes. Please, come with me. I don't want to go alone." I begged.

He sighed, and ran his hand through his brown hair. "Of course I'll go with you. Come on." he turned, and saw the coat rack behind him. He grabbed the dark blue one and handed it to me quickly, and I was surprised he was able to guess which was mine.

We took one of Aunt Gwen's cars to the train station, and I bought two tickets, and within moments we were boarding.

Harold and I took our seats, towards the back. "You look tired." he commented.

"I didn't sleep last night. Thinking about too many things."

"Like what?" he asked. I was quiet. "Please, talk to me. I want to help you, Merry."

"Well, to start off… Spencer had an affair. With our cook, Beatrix. She actually tried to poison me. That's when I found out."

"That bastard! I-"

I held up my hand to stop him. "Things weren't so bad until we returned to America, and AJ was born. Once Spencer began to work for his father's company, his coworkers had a bad influence on him. He became insensitive and nasty. He became less loving. Even when we would be intimate," I saw Harold squirm uncomfortably at this, "he would be selfish. He'd hurt me so badly I would barely be able to walk afterwards…."

"He would hurt you?"

"I would tell him to be gentler, but he didn't care. He'd keep going, finish up, and go to sleep. He wasn't abusive though. Although a few times we did fight and he'd slap me. I deserved that though."

"You didn't deserve a thing, Mer. I'll kill him. I'll absolutely kill him."

"Harold, no-"

"Nobody hurts my little sister!" he stood up, looking angrier than I've ever seen him.

People were staring at us now.

"Harold! Stop!" he slumped back into his seat. "I don't know what I'm going to do. I need my son back, and Spencer and I need to talk about this. We need to figure something out."

"Leave him for good."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because I…. I'm expecting again."

Harold sighed. "How far along are you?"

"Two months. I left Spencer at the end of August, and then I was already six weeks pregnant. I had just found out. Now it's mid September, and I'm due in April."

"Does he know?"

"I told him right before I walked out. Then he didn't want me to go."

"Divorce him. You'll get a good amount of his money. You can start your own life with your kids. Meet someone new."

"I met someone in New York…"

"Well that's good."

"Not really. He was a liar. He conned me, and tried to get me into bed last night."

"Meredith…" he was trying to keep himself under control, "You need to be more careful. Perhaps you should go back home to mom and dad." I could hear in his voice he was fighting a few tears.

"No." I said, looking to the window, "I can't. I'm supposed to be a grown woman. I'm turning twenty-three tomorrow, actually. If I were to give up and go back to my parents, I'd only be a burden and a disappointment."

"You were nearly killed! You were also taken advantage of by some conman! And your son was taken by Spencer. Admit it, Mer, you need help. You don't even look like yourself anymore. You look so tired, and drained. I don't want to lose you."

"You're not losing me. I'm right here."

"I meant who you are. You're not yourself anymore, because of what you've allowed people to do to you. Take better care of yourself." he demanded, sounding almost angry.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm not trying to sound mean. I'm just worried."

I leaned back in my seat, and placed my hands on my still unnoticeable stomach. "I'm worried too."

"May I kill your husband?" he asked, with his head being supported by his hands, and his elbows on his knees.

"No, you may not. We're just going there to get my son, talk about a few things, and leave."

"Fine. But if he hurts you, or says anything out of line, I'm going to punch his lights out."

"Sure." I agreed, because I knew arguing with him wouldn't be worth it.

We knocked on the door of what was my beautiful home, and waited. Spencer pulled the door open, "Mer, I knew you'd- Oh shit!" He exclaimed once he saw a very angry Harold standing in front of him.

Harold pushed Spencer aside. "Where is my nephew? Tell us, and then I'll deal with you."

"He's upstairs. The maid has him. But listen, I only did this because I knew Meredith would come back here, and I'd be able to talk to her."

"Well perhaps I don't want you talking to her."

"Harry, stop." they both looked at me. "Go upstairs and find AJ. Spencer and I need to have a disussion."

"Fine. I'll be back down in a minute." he said in a warning tone to Spencer, and disappeared up the staircase.

"Have you been taking care of him?"

"Yes, of course."

"He's been fed, washed, changed, and he slept alright?"

"Yes, he was absolutely fine."

"Good." I crossed my arms. "Meredith, I-"

"You took my son. Do you know how afraid I was when I couldn't find him? Do you even comprehend how idiotic this was? How dare you!"

"Listen, I only wanted to see my son, and get you to talk to me. I figured you'd show up here and I'd be able to have a conversation with you."

"That was stupid."

"Yea… it was…" he replied softly.

After a moment, I asked, "So where is Beatrix?"

"I fired her, the day after you left. Sent her packing."

"Then you must have been so lonely." I hissed.

"I got rid of her for you. For us. We can work this out. I want to fix this."

"You need to fix yourself first."

"I've been being an adult. I've been working, and trying to fit in with the other guys. That's all. My father would be proud."

"He'd be proud of you for having an affair and hurting your wife, and even for kidnapping your son? For some reason I doubt that. What would Adam say about this, Spence?"

"Don't bring up Adam." I could tell it was still a sensitive thought for him.

"Do you think he would be proud of you, Spencer? When he was going to give up so much for Clarissa, for him to be watching the things you did to me and to AJ… Do you think he's happy for you?"

"Stop." he said irritably. I could tell the thought of disappointing his dead brother was torture to him.

"Think for a minute, Spencer. About other people, and not yourself." I pleaded, "Adam wouldn't have wanted you to become this type of man. Adam would-"

Spencer snapped. He grabbed my upper arms harshly and shook me, "Shut up, Meredith! Just shut up! Leave my brother out of this!"

"Hey!" Harold was coming down the stairs, carrying AJ in his arms. "Don't you dare lay a hand on my sister!" he shoved Spencer away from me, and pushed AJ into my arms. Then he punched Spencer right in the face, sending him flying back a few feet and catching himself on a table. "I believe you've caused her enough pain."

AJ was clinging to me. I held him tightly, vowing to never let him out of my sight again.

"Harold, this doesn't involve you." Spencer said, with his hand pressed against his cheek.

"Yes, it does. Your wife is my little sister, and I'd do anything to protect her from bastards like you."

Spencer ran at Harold, and pushed him over. They both fell to the floor, rolling around and throwing punches.

"That is enough!" I yelled, but was ignored, "I said that is enough!" I shrieked. AJ began to cry loudly. "Aw, sweetheart, don't cry. Please…" I rocked him desperately, and once again glanced to the scuffle on the tile. "Harold! Knock it off! Spencer! You're upsetting your son!"

Spencer shoved Harold off of him, and sat on the ground, trying to breathe. Harold had apparently knocked the wind out of him, and his nose was bleeding. Harold was covered in a few scratches and red areas that would turn into bruises later.

Spencer was holding his nose, and his face was scrunched up like he was in pain.

Harold stood up and was beside me.

AJ was still screaming and crying, and his face was red.

"Adam was a much better man than me. He should have survived, and I should have died. I should have stayed right where you left me and drowned. I'm not worthy of life. I'm not worthy of you, or my son, and our other child. I'm not worthy of this wealth. This money doesn't even mean a thing to me anymore. It all means nothing if I don't have my family." Spencer whined, while sitting on the floor. "Meredith, please…." he begged. "Don't leave me. Don't break my heart."

"Well, sadly, you blew it, Spencer. You're the one who broke _my_ heart, and it's going to take a while to fix." Harold grasped my hand and squeezed it tightly for support. "I'll mail you the divorce papers, and possibly a letter to let you know about the baby. Goodbye, Spencer." I was surprised by the strength in my voice. "Oh, by the way, where's Ellie?"

"Ellie?"

"My cat."

"Kitchen." he said in a soft, sad voice.

"Thanks." I said insincerely and quickly walked to the kitchen where I was greeted by one of our butlers. Phillip, an older man, who was very kind.

"Oh, Mrs. Welch, how good to see you and the little one again."

"It's good to see you too, Phillip. I'm just here to pick up my son and my cat. Then I'm leaving."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I know it isn't my place, but I heard what happened, and I think you were right to leave him. He didn't deserve you."

"Thanks." I smiled, while striding over to the basket in the corner of the room where Ellie slept. "Hello sweetheart." her blue eyes opened suddenly, and she purred as I picked her up carefully with one hand, and lifted her up to my chest beside my son. I gave Phillip a kiss on the cheek, to thank him for his service when I had lived here. Then I went back towards the entrance hall, stopping in my tracks when I heard a conversation.

"I love her!" Spencer hissed loudly and angrily.

"Really? Could've fooled me, Welch. The stories I've heard of how you treated her over the past few months…. You're despicable." Harold spat.

After a minute, Spencer replied, "I don't know where my head was at."

"I thought you were an alright guy, Spence. I thought you were possibly the second best guy for my sister."

"Who was the first?"

"James, of course." I felt a slight tug at my insides at the mention of him, "He was a much better man than you. He even went down with his ship, like a true man, while you clawed your way up to the deck like a coward."

"Saving myself is cowardice? How can you even say that? What would any normal man do when faced with that situation? I saved your sister's life, if you didn't know. I persuaded them to let her through the gate. I made her leave me behind. I was going to die there, because I had to!" I heard a break in his voice. He was becoming more emotional after every word. "Once the gate was opened, I searched for a way to the boats, and lucky for me, I found one. To have given up and accepted the Atlantic as my destination would have been true cowardice."

"You used to be a good man. I expected you to take care of Meredith, but instead you've hurt her. She deserves so much better."

"She does. And I'm going to give her that."

"No, you'll stay far away from her as long as I'm around to protect her."

"You weren't always around. You abandoned her, remember? You left home, broke your baby sister's heart, and never wanted to go back. Wasn't until she ran into you that you decided to stay, correct? Perhaps you're only sticking around because she found you, and you don't think you could get away with skipping out on her a second time."

I heard the sound of Harold's hands colliding with Spencer's body, and then a thud as they fell to the floor. I heard fist against skin over and over, and wasn't sure if I should stop it, or let it play out. I couldn't stop them anyway.

Harold groaned, "Get off of me!" he said through clenched teeth. Surprisingly this time, Spencer was the victorious one.

"We both love her, and we've both hurt her terribly. No matter what you do or say, one day I will win her back. You'll see." Spencer stated determinedly.

Then there was silence for a few seconds, and I could only imagine Harold was either furious, contemplating the best way to kill his enemy, or he was too much in thought to respond.

I decided now was the time to make my presence known. Carrying my sleepy little boy, and my kitten, I entered the entrance hall. There was Harold, pinned to the floor by Spencer. They both looked at me, and my husband suddenly and silently let go of my brother.

"Harold, let's go." I stated plainly, and went for the door. With AJ in my arms, and my brother beside me, we left my old home, and went back out to the cab.

I examined my son, making sure he was just as perfect as he was when I had last seen him. Not a scratch on him. Thank God. I hugged him to me, and smiled as he snuggled against my chest and let out a tiny yawn.

"Motherhood really does suit you." Harold stated, while stroking Ellie on his lap.

"Does it?" I looked up at Harold and smiled.

"Yes, you look like a natural. He looks so content in your arms."

"I can tell he looks a lot like his father. He's got my eyes, but the rest is all Spencer." I stated in a shaky voice.

"Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not. It hurts."

"Your arms? Did he hurt you?"

"No. My heart."

"Forget him."

"How can I forget him when I have his son on my lap, and his other child growing in my stomach?"

Harold couldn't answer.

"I heard you." I said suddenly.

"Heard what?"

"You and Spencer arguing about me. I also heard what he said before you attacked him."

"Meredith, you shouldn't believe a word he said."

"But… you weren't going to come back at all. You would have been perfectly content never seeing me again. It was your plan. Why is it different now?"

He grabbed my hand. "I got to know you again. I got reacquainted with an amazing young woman who wasn't afraid to slap a sailor, or put her older brother in line. You're the only one who actually could keep me in line. Even as children. Our bond was special back then. Before I left all those years ago, in the middle of the night, I went to your room and I did say goodbye. I didn't wish to upset you, so I kissed your forehead lightly and left. You were the only one I said goodbye to. Then you found me again, and I left once, I'm not going to leave again. I don't want to lose my little sister ever again."

"You're not going to just walk away again? You promise?"

"I swear it. Family comes first this time."

I looked down at my son to see him now asleep in my arms. "Harold, come with me. Live with me."

"Pardon me?" he asked.

"I'm pretty sure I'd like to return to Wales as soon as possible. I have some money, and once the divorce goes though I'll probably end up with some of his money in the settlement. We could get a house, and you can help me with AJ and the baby. It'll be great. We could hang out and make up for lost time."

"Meredith…. That's a wonderful offer, but I'm afraid I can't."

"Why not?" I pouted, probably reminding Harold of my six year old self.

"I love my job. I love the sea."

"We'll get a home by the sea. It'd be perfect."

"It wouldn't be the same as being on a ship. The ocean is where I belong, Merry."

AJ stirred, but didn't awaken. "Fine, Harry."

"Mer, I'm sorry…"

"It's alright." I stared out the cab window, and saw we were nearing the train station. "Just promise you'll visit."

"Of course. I'll be needing a place to stay on my holidays, and I'll have to teach my nephew everything I know."

"Oh goodness, no." I laughed, "If you're planning to be a bad influence on my little boy, I'll send you to mum and dad's house instead and let them deal with you."

He put his hands up, "Oh no. Anything but that."

I grinned. Things were bad, but with my family, I would be able to get through this. I hoped.

* * *

_Thanks for reading chapter 18. Chapter 19 will be posted as soon as possible. I just started writing it. I think next chapter might be the last. But I'm not entirely certain yet. Stay tuned, folks! Haha. Anywho, thank you and please review. It will make my dayyyyyy. Love, Kell. _


	19. Chapter XIX

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter XIX**_

It was now August of 1914, and I was hanging up laundry outside my comfortably sized home on the shore of Northern Wales. There were rocks leading down to the grey water, turned that color by it's reflection of the clouds.

"Mama!" I heard AJ yelled, as the seventeen month old boy ran to me, and upon reaching me he tugged gently at my skirt.

"Yes, dearie?" I asked while clipping a sheet to the clothesline.

"Joey cryin'."

I sighed, and followed my son into the house. There was my baby boy, laying in his crib, redfaced and screaming. By the smell, I judged he needed to be changed. I picked him up, and rocked him, "Shh…. Joey, it's alright. Mama is going to change you." I said soothingly, and carried him over to the table in the middle of the room.

On April fifteenth, the second anniversary of the Titanic sinking, coincidentally, I had given birth to my second son, Joseph Matthew Welch. He was now four months old, and had a small bit of soft hair on his head, looking dark brown like mine, and his eyes were also green like AJ's and Spencer's.

I changed Joseph, while AJ sat on the floor playing with Ellie. Good thing the cat was good tempered, the way my boys pull her tail and everything. If I were her I'd have scratched them a long time ago.

Once I put a new cloth diaper on him, I held him close. AJ was now pulling on my skirt. "Mama!"

"What is it?"

"I hungry."

"I'll make you some lunch in a little bit, alright, sweetie?"

"I hungry now!" he whined.

"Well mama is busy at the moment. You'll have to wait."

"Mama!"

"Adam James! Stop." I snapped. "Go outside and play, let me finish my chores, and then I will make you lunch, alright?"

"Fine." my son answered, and ran off. Even though he didn't have a vast vocabulary, he still knew enough to drive me crazy.

I watched him go outside and pick up his blocks. I was about to turn to put Joey back into his crib to finish napping, when I saw a black automobile pull up to my house. Spencer stepped out of the car, wearing a suit, and although less than a year had passed since I'd seen him he looked older. Probably because he had a bit of facial hair that made him appear more mature.

I watched him bend down and ruffle AJ's hair a bit. "Hey, buddy."

"Who you?" AJ asked, staring up at him.

"I'm a friend of your mom's." he began to walk towards the door.

I then rushed outside. "Don't touch my son!"

"Woah." he put his arms out in front of him, "I haven't even made it to the door and already you're screaming at me. And for the record, he is _our_ son."

"What do you want?" I asked angrily, shifting Joey to my hip.

"I wanted to see you. And AJ and…" he looked to the baby.

"His name is Joseph."

"May I hold him?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"You might kidnap him like you did to AJ."

He sighed. "I'm not going to. I'd just like to hold my son for a minute."

I slowly handed Joseph to Spencer, and I watched him as he cradled the infant in his arms so gently.

AJ waddled over to us. "Mama, who is he?"

I looked to Spencer with my arms crossed. "Nobody, sweetheart. Just some man I knew."

"You make me lunch?" he asked Spencer.

"AJ! You act as if I do not feed you. I told you I'd make you lunch in a little bit. It's not my fault you refused to finish your breakfast this morning."

AJ began stamping his feet. Joey began to fuss and cry. "Oh, no." I said, taking my baby back and trying to rock him gently.

"Mama! I hungry!" AJ screeched.

Spencer grabbed my son's hand. "Come on, I'll prepare you a sandwich."

"No, you don't have to. He can wait." I said to him, not really wanting him in my house.

"It's fine. I don't mind at all." he turned to AJ, "You'll have to show me where your mother keeps everything, alright?"

AJ nodded, and dragged Spencer past me, into the house. I followed, with Joey over my shoulder. I tried to whisper soothing things to him, and within a few minutes he tired himself out and fell asleep on me.

I leaned against my kitchen counter and watched Spencer prepare a ham sandwich for AJ.

"Tank'oo!" AJ said, with food in his mouth after he received his sandwich and ran off.

Spencer came and faced me. "So, it's a bit hectic around here."

"No. Not really. Only sometimes. It's a bit difficult being a single mother of two little boys. But you wouldn't understand that."

"You shouldn't have to raise them alone. You don't have to. I-"

"No. We don't need you."

"Please, Merry, give me a chance to prove myself." he begged.

"It's Meredith to you."

"Meredith. Please… Give me a few days, a week even, to prove myself to you. Let me see my boys, and let me win your heart back."

"You're not going to win me back. But fine, you may stay for a week to see the boys. You'll stay in your car, and if you do one thing I don't like, you're gone. Clear?" I guess I couldn't keep him from his sons.

"Crystal, Ma'am." he said with his winning smile.

He was outside playing with AJ as I washed dishes. I could see him from the window, looking more youthful, and my son was beaming as he spent time with this man he didn't even know was his father.

By the evening, I had put Joey to bed, and cooked breakfast, even made a plate for Spencer. A small plate though. I called them inside. I was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table, and AJ ran to me. I wrapped my arms around him and lifted him into my lap. He took the spoon from his plate of corn and tried to feed himself. He managed to with only getting a third of the corn on the floor.

"Where's the baby?" Spencer asked.

"Sleeping. I put Joey to bed before I made dinner. It's not much, but you can have some."

He turned and put some corn on a plate and a piece of chicken. I had already eaten. He sat down beside me and AJ.

"So why'd you name him Joseph?" he asked before taking a bite of chicken.

"My mother picked it out."

"It's a nice name. I like it. I think it was one of my great grandfather's names."

I was quiet, spooning the last bit of corn into AJ's mouth, and letting him off my lap. "I'll be right in to read you a story and put you to bed, alright sweetie?" he nodded, and ran off.

"I'm jealous, you never read me stories before bed." Spencer said with a smirk.

I glared at him, and then picked up AJ's plate to bring it to the sink. I picked up Spencer's as well.

"I was still eating that!" he said with a half full mouth.

I was washing the plates and ignoring him, but I was well aware of his eyes on my back.

"So what happened to all the money?"

I shut off the faucet and turned, leaning against the sink. "What money?"

"When we divorced, you got a very large sum of money, and I heard your aunt leant you some too."

"It is none of your business."

"I was only wondering, because you could have a large home and nannies and a lot of fine things. But instead you take care of the boys by yourself and live here."

"There is nothing wrong with my home. It had four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, a dining room, a sitting room, and it's all I need. What would I do with a large house? And I didn't want nannies. I want to raise my children. I was raised by my family, not by hired servants. It's how I'd like my kids to grow up."

"You don't need to be so defensive, Mer. I was just asking."

"The money is all being saved for your sons' futures. Is this why you're here? Financial reasons? What kind of trouble did you get yourself into now? Don't expect me to help you."

Spencer stood up. "I'm not in any trouble, and I'm not here for money. I wouldn't come to you for money anyway. I just wanted to see my sons."

"Well, you did. For the first time in a year you saw AJ, and Joey for the first time in his life. Would you like an award?" I asked sarcastically.

"Meredith, let me explain, over the past year-"

"I don't want to hear it." I interrupted, and crossed my arms. "Go to your car. I have a son to take care of." I left the room, going to read AJ his bedtime story.

The next day, I looked outside to see Spencer's feet hanging out of the car window. He must have been asleep across the seats, because I couldn't see the rest of him. I sighed, and turned away, when I got an idea. I snuck outside as quietly as possible, and approached the car, where I reached in and pressed the horn. Spencer sat up quickly, looking around "What on earth do you think you're doing?"

I laughed. "Wake up call."

"Thanks…" he said sarcastically, while painfully stretching.

"Come on, get up. If you're going to stay on my property, you might as well help me get a few things done." I grabbed his arm and pulled until he opened the car door and got out.

He woke up and dressed AJ for me while I made breakfast. I held Joey on my hip while I mashed up a few bananas with a fork for him.

Spencer came in with AJ sitting on his shoulders. I smiled slightly, but quickly made it disappear. I can't have Spencer thinking anything.

There was a knock on the door. Still holding Joey, who was fussing as I tried to feed him, I asked Spencer to answer it for me.

He left AJ sitting at the table, and went to the door, opening it. There was my brother, Edgar. "Hello. Who are you?" my brother asked.

"Spencer Welch. You?"

Edgar's mouth formed a scowl, and he shoved Spencer back from the door opening. "What are you doing here?"

I rushed over "Edgar, stop. He's just here to see his sons."

"He doesn't deserve to see them. Not after all I heard about him." my brother glared at him.

My nieces Joanna and Louisa were in the door way. "Daddy? What's going on?"

Everyone fell silent. I turned to the girls, "Everything is fine. How about you two take AJ to the sitting room and play?" I gave them a smile.

They helped my son off the chair and walked off to the sitting room. Edgar leaned against my kitchen counter, glaring at Spencer, who was running a hand through his hair nervously.

"I'm here because I wanted to see my sons. I do deserve to see them." he growled.

Edgar rolled his eyes and looked to me. "How are the boys doing today?"

"They're good. Joey seems to be in a good mood this morning so far, and AJ has been excited since he woke up. Probably due to the fact he found a new playmate who is on the same level of intelligence." I gestured to Spencer, who in return lowered his eyebrows a bit in annoyance.

I sent Spencer to the backyard to pull out some weeds for me in the garden, while I sat with my brother in the sitting room. His daughters were running around the halls with AJ.

"Are you alright with him being here? If not, I'll force him out, Mer." Edgar said seriously.

"It's quite alright, Eddie. He just wants to see his sons. And while I may not admire his company, he is good for the boys, and he's been willing to help me out today."

"If he does anything, let me know. Even the tiniest little problem. I don't trust him. Not after all he did to you."

"I do wish Harry hadn't told you all everything. It was difficult enough to tell him."

"We're your brothers. We just want to keep you safe."

"I know, but I had to actually beg you, George, and Harry not to sail over there and wring his neck."

"What did you expect us to do? We're your brothers. We'd kill a man who hurt you, and that man did."

"It's fine, Ed. He's only here a few days for his children. This has nothing to do with him and I. I can't keep his babies from him, since they are half his. I wouldn't do that. I'd feel awful if he did that to me."

"I just don't want him to hurt you again, and I don't want him fooling you, or getting your hopes up."

"You don't trust him."

"Why, do you?"

"Of course not. He's an overbearing, sorry excuse of a man. Why would I ever trust him after all he did?" I stood up from the kitchen table and went to the sink to begin doing dishes. "He's selfish and slimy and doesn't think about the consequences of his actions on anybody else. He always thinks that stupid smile of his will make everything better, but he's wrong. He's just-" I didn't notice how furiously I had been scrubbing a plate that it broke into three pieces in my hand.

"Meredith Wynne Lowe!" Edgar jumped out of his seat, coming to me quickly.

"Welch. My last name is still Welch. It wasn't changed back. It's my children's names too."

"Fine, Meredith Wynne Lowe Welch. Happy?" he said, and I nodded. With a sigh, he said, "Are you really going to let him get to you like this? You can kick him out of here. You don't have to let him stay. Don't let him control you."

"He isn't controlling me. I allowed him to stay by my own choice, and I'll get through it. It's just bringing up old wounds, alright?" I leaned against the counter. "It's only a few days."

"I won't argue this with you anymore. You're becoming upset. Just if he does one thing wrong, you had better call me. George and I will set him straight."

I forced a slight smile. "Thanks, Ed."

He wrapped his arms around me gently, "No problem. Just please, do not hesitate to tell me if he steps out of line. Don't protect the bugger."

"I won't. Now can we just end this?"

He hesitated, but then nodded, turning away from me. "I should probably gather up the girls and head home. Kendra wanted us all home tonight because her parents are coming for dinner." he jokingly made a gun with his hand and pretended to shoot himself. I couldn't help but laugh.

After he had gone, I was about to give AJ a bath, when Spencer volunteered to help me. So we both sat on the bathroom floor by the tub, with AJ in the water, splashing more of it out of the tub on us.

"So why was Edgar here?" Spencer asked suddenly, gently washing soap from his son's eyes.

"He visits me every few days. The girls like to see AJ and the baby, and Edgar will sometimes help me with difficult housework, or just give me an hour or so of company."

"That's nice. He didn't seem too happy to see me."

I snickered for a moment. "He's my brother. None of them are going to be happy to even hear you breathe."

He hung his head down. "I wish they didn't hate me so much. I wish _you _didn't hate me so much."

I didn't respond, because to tell the truth, I wasn't quite sure if I hated him now or not, or if I hated him ever. A broken heart is sometimes the product of still lov- I mean, caring for someone…

I allowed Spencer to spend the night on the couch, and the next morning allowed him to do a lot of my house work. If he was going to stay in my house, he'd have to earn it.

After I prepared breakfast for everyone, I decided a nap was in order. I hadn't slept too well the night before. It happened occasionally. I laid down on the couch, and shut my eyes.

In the darkness, I heard hundreds of shrill shouts cut through the night. The air was thin and dry, insufficiently filling my pleading lungs. My clothing, soaked completely, was stuck to my skin everywhere, absorbing the cold air. I shivered violently, unsure if it was from the voices or from the cold, or both. I peered over the side of the lifeboat and saw bodies everywhere, buoyed up by their life jackets, with their heads rolled forward. I recognized Emma in her stewardess uniform. She was covered in ice, pale, and her eyes were half open. I put my hand to my mouth to fight back the scream building up inside me. The lifeboat began to shake violently back and forth. My hand fell to the side of the boat where I held on, letting out the scream I'd been holding in, and I squeezed my eyes closed tightly, wishing it would end.

My eyes opened suddenly, and I was in the sitting room, on the couch. Spencer was above me, with his arms on my shoulders, shaking me awake. I stopped screaming and stared at him as he quit shaking me.

"Are you alright?" he asked, putting his hand against my cheek soothingly.

I weakly pushed it aside, "Yeah, I'm alright. Just a silly dream."

"You were having quite a nightmare. Care to talk about it?"

I would love to, but instead of saying that I forced a scowl, "No, not with you." I sat up, "Now excuse me," I pushed him out of the way and stood up.

"It was about the sinking, wasn't it?" he asked, and I froze, but did not face him. "I have them too, you know. The nightmares. The memories. It's alright to have them, Mer."

Now I turned to him. He was sitting on the couch, wearing a concerned, sympathetic expression. "I didn't have them so bad before, except for times when I've been most stressed."

"Happens to me too. They were pretty bad right after the sinking though. I was able to stop being so haunted by it for awhile, until when you left… It just made me even more haunted."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I replied plainly.

"The memories will fade with time, I'm sure. For both of us." he patted the spot on the couch next to him. "Come on, I don't bite." he smirked.

I went and sat beside him, keeping myself a few inches away.

"I'm not afraid of you biting me." I joked, trying to keep things light.

"Then what are you afraid of?"

To be honest, I was afraid of allowing him back into my life again. But I wasn't about to let him know that. "Nothing. I'm not afraid of anything."

He was quiet for a few seconds. "You know, you don't have to go through this alone. We both experienced the sinking. We both knew people who died. We should be helping each other deal with it, like we were before."

"Not everything can be like it was before, Spencer."

"And why not?" he asked, moving his head an inch closer to mine and staring directly into my eyes, expecting an answer.

"Because. Too much has happened." I stood up quickly, but he grabbed my arm, pulling me back down onto him, awkwardly. I was now on his lap, and we were both tilted so we were almost laying down on the sofa. "I'm sorry." I said, while slowly moving off of him.

He gently tightened his grip on me, "I'm not."

I pulled away from him, and stood up. "I need to go check on my children. I'm sorry."

"Merry…"

"No. Leave me alone." I stated plainly, and left the room.

Once in the next room, I leaned against the wall. Why was my heart beating so fast?

At dinner, he and I ate in silence at opposite ends of the table. I'd put the boys to bed. Spencer's foot accidentally brushed against mine, and made me shiver. I hoped he didn't catch that, but the smirk I saw on his face told me he had.

I finished my supper and collected the plates, placing them carelessly into the sink for washing tomorrow. "I'll be going to bed now. 'Night." I stated plainly, heading out of the room.

"Goodnight, Merry." I heard him say softly, followed by the sound of the sink turning on and him cleaning the dishes even though I hadn't asked him to.

That night, I woke up, hearing Joey crying from the other room. I climbed out of bed, and staggered sleepily down the hall to my sons' room. I saw Spencer in there, holding Joey to him, and trying to calm him down by humming. I couldn't help but smile at this. I stood against the doorframe quietly, watching, until Joey's crying ceased, and Spencer turned around. "Oh, Meredith." he blushed, "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough." I entered the room, and took the baby from him. His eyes were now closed, and he breathed softly in his slumber. I lowered him back down into his crib, where he rolled over onto his side a bit, let out a little yawn, and brought his arms close to his chest.

"I heard him and figured I'd help out. He is my son after all." he smiled that smile that used to always make me weak in the knees.

"Well, thank you." I said, turning to head back to my bedroom, when he caught my shoulder gently. I looked back and saw him gesture for me to follow him.

He led me into the sitting room. "Sit." he said, smiling. I waited on the couch while he went to the record player. He turned on the softest music he could find. Then came back to the couch and held out his hand. I hesitated, then let him have my hand, pulling me up and dragging me slowly to the middle of the room. He placed his hands on my waist, and I unsurely put my hands on his shoulders. "I wanted a dance, if that's alright." he said, still with the same gorgeous smile on his face. How could I say no to that?

"It's the middle of the night though. Why would you want to dance so late?"

"Why not?"

I took this as an acceptable answer. I was still tired, and I leaned against him.

With my head on his shoulder, and my arms gently around him, we swayed together to the soft music. "Just because I'm dancing with you doesn't mean I forgive you." I muttered.

"I know."

"And this doesn't mean you're winning. I'm not falling for you."

I could sense he was smirking. "I know, Mer."

I lifted my head off his shoulder. I noticed we had stopped moving. For how long, I wasn't sure. My eyes met his almost emerald green orbs. "And…" I lost my words.

He finished them for me, "And just because we're staring passionately into each others' eyes doesn't mean we're-"

"Back together…" I finished his sentence breathlessly.

He leaned in towards me, and I moved my head back an inch, and hesitated, as he just waited there, eyes half open.

Next thing I know, I'm softly brushing my lips against his. This feeling was so familiar, and I felt like I was back on my aunt's parlor floor in New York, finally giving in to Spencer's love.

I pulled away, and stared at him.

His eyes were still shut, and he slowly opened them. "Meredith…" he whispered my name so wonderfully.

"You…." My head was spinning, I had to come up with the words to say. "You hurt me."

He looked down, ashamed, "I know…"

"No, you don't know. You cheated on me, injured me a bit, became so distant and insensitive I barely knew who you were anymore. Your treatment tore me up inside. And I had a kid to raise. I was trying to stay as strong as I could, and I never got to properly heal. Then a year later you come waltzing into my life again, expecting to be a part of it. Expecting for this to be okay."

He grabbed my hands, "I'll do anything to make this all okay again, Mer. I swear to you. I-"

"How do I know you won't just do it all over again?"

He sighed, "Want the proof?" he asked, and I nodded while blinking away tears. He took me to the kitchen and pointed out the window. "See that car? That is where I live."

"Wait… What?" I asked. He had to be joking.

"I sold the house. I gave up the business to those three bastards who wrecked up my life. I spent the past year after you left me for good trying to tie up all these loose ends. Then I bought a ticket on a ship, and I tracked you down. I had to see you. I had to tell you I changed. I got rid of everything. I haven't even drank in months. I'm the Spencer Welch you knew before. Only a bit smarter, I hope."

"What did your mother say about this?"

"She was upset that I got rid of the company and that I was leaving. But then I told her, I was doing what I know Adam would want me to. That softened her up a bit. Brought her to tears, actually. She understands I had to do this."

"I need you to promise me, you won't hurt me. I need you to promise to never do to me what you've done before. I need you to promise it, and mean it with all your heart. If not, then don't even bother."

He looked me sincerely in the eyes. "I, Spencer Lucas Welch, promise with my whole heart and every other inch of me that I will never hurt you, and that I will never do to you what I've done before. The pain I saw in your eyes was too much for me to bear."

I collapsed into him, and felt his arms wrap around me. He chuckled happily.

I pressed my lips to his firmly, smiling against his mouth. His tongue beckoned me for entrance, and I allowed it. His arms were around me tightly, and his hands moved up my back until they reached my hair, which he threaded his fingers through, keeping us glued together. Suddenly, his fingers slid down my back, and to my hips, where he lifted me up, and grabbed my thighs, bringing my legs around his torso.

I gasped, and threw my arms around his neck. He giggled, "Hold on." he told me, huskily, carrying me to my bedroom. He dropped me onto the mattress, and turned to shut the door as carefully as possibly, to not wake the children.

I sat on the edge of the bed. "Well that was gentlemanly of you."

"One of my many qualities" he returned to me, cupping my face in his hands, and kissing me again as he climbed over me. Now I was on my back, looking up at him. It felt like it had in the beginning.

He was attempting to undo my clothing, and I felt slightly shy because he hadn't seen my body in a year. After carrying two children, I was only slightly larger than I used to be, but I still wasn't comfortable with my body. He noticed the look on my face and stopped, "What's wrong?" "I'm just a bit self conscious…"

"Meredith, you're as beautiful as the first day I even saw you. Nothing could ever make me not attracted to you. Trust me."

"Okay." I whispered with a grin, as I relaxed a bit, and helped him free me from the confines of my clothing. Once we were down to nothing but our natural selves, we slid under the covers together. He placed his hand on the crook of my neck, and pulled my lips to his again, hungrily. Then his lips moved slowly down my body, leaving soft kisses from my jaw to my stomach. "Spencer, please…" I said breathlessly.

He looked up at me, and then kissed my forehead. "You're sure about this?"

"As long as you're sure not to hurt me again…"

His lips formed a sincere smile, "I wouldn't dream of it."

Soon enough, our bodies were moving as one, more perfectly than ever. I put all my emotions into every movement. I hadn't felt this much passion in so long, and for me to be sharing a moment like this again with Spencer… My head kept telling me I gave in too easily, but my heart said this was just right.

Afterwards, I snuggled up beside him, and we fell asleep together.

When I opened my eyes again, it was morning, and the sunlight was coming through my window painfully bright. I squinted my eyes to adjust to the light, and then looked next to myself with a smile. That is until I realized I was alone. That bastard had left me. I curled up and was about to cry, when I realized I had to check on my children. I jumped up, grabbing my light pink silk robe from my dresser, and quickly putting it on. I ran out of the door, when I heard some noise in the kitchen. I cautiously walked down the hall, and peered into the kitchen. Spencer was there, cooking breakfast. I sighed and rested my head against the door frame.

He had heard me and turned around. "Good morning, Beautiful."

"Good morning." I said shakily.

"Are you alright?" he looked worriedly at me.

I nodded unconvincingly. "I'm fine."

After studying my face for a moment, he frowned, "You thought I left, didn't you?"

I nervously pushed my dark hair behind my ear. "Well I woke up alone… It was the first thought that came to mind…"

He wrapped his arms around me, and brought me close to him. His lips were firmly placed against my forehead. "Why would I leave the beautiful mother of my children after an amazing night like last night?" I blushed at this, "I don't deserve you. It's you who should be leaving me. Again…"

His eyes met mine. "I can't leave you. Not again. Not when my heart is finally whole again…"

My lips met his in a gentle kiss, until he broke away. He looked down and I followed his eyes to AJ who was tugging on his pant leg. "Why you kiss mommy?"

Spencer looked at me for a moment, and I nodded, letting him know it was alright to explain. He picked up our son and held him. "You see, I love your mommy very much. And I love you very much, and your brother. I know you don't know me much, but I'm your daddy."

"Daddy?" AJ asked curiously.

"Yeah." Spencer smiled at him. "And after breakfast I'm going to take you outside to play. That sound good?"

"Yeah!" he yelled, smiling widely.

"Good." Spencer then went on to tickle AJ's tummy, sending the boy into fits of laughter.

"Daddy!" he said between giggles.

Spencer put him down and looked to me. "I'll finish breakfast. You want to wake up Joey?"

"Sure. I'll get him up."

I went to the nursery, and peered into the wooden crib to see my sleeping baby boy slumbering away. I lifted him up gently, and held him to my chest. His eyes opened slowly, and he looked around.

"Good morning, handsome."

He gurgled happily, seeing it was me, and then let out a soft yawn. I cradled him in my arms, rocking him gently. I carried him back to the kitchen, and sat down at the table, just as Spencer placed a plate in front of me.

"I didn't know wealthy boys like you knew how to cook." I said sarcastically.

"I know how to at least fry an egg and some bacon. I'm not entirely useless."

"You're certainly not." I said a bit suggestively, causing him to raise his eyebrows, and then grin.

He attempted a sexy growl, causing me to laugh, and AJ to turn to him saying "You sound like a lion!" and begin growling as well. I thought I'd fall off my seat with laughter.

After breakfast, Spencer was chasing AJ around the yard, as I sat on the porch holding Joseph, who was looking around with very open eyes, curious as usual about the world around him.

AJ's laughter and Joseph's gurgles faded into the background of my perception for a moment as the previous night's event replayed in my mind. It felt so right, and it was all so wonderful, but after everything that had happened, was it really the best thing to do? How did I know his words were the truth and that he wouldn't go and hurt me again? He had apparently tried so hard to win me back, that I know he'd be an idiot to screw it up like he did last time. I guess I would just have to trust my heart on this one.

Edgar's car pulled up into my driveway, and he stepped out of it, walking towards me, after directing a glare Spencer's way.

"Hey, Mer."

"Ed, what's going on? I didn't expect to see you today."

"Well, George and I sort of let it slip that Spencer was here. And mum wants to see you tonight. We're all going over for dinner. Bring your houseguest if you want. Georgie and I want to have a talk with him." he smirked,

"If I bring him, the two of you are to behave yourselves, do you understand me? I will not have you guys interrogating the father of my children."

"We weren't planning on interrogating the boy. Just a little man to men talk. If you know what I mean." he gently hit his palm with his fist. Then, laughing at my shocked expression, quickly said, "I'm only kidding you. But still, come by tonight. Ma and father are expecting you all."

I froze for a moment, staring at his smirk. "Alright, fine. We'll be there."

After Edgar left, Spencer was walking to the porch with AJ. "Why don't you go inside and find us something to eat?" he said to my son, who smiled and went into the house. "What did your brother want?" he asked, taking a now fussy Joseph from my arms.

"He was inviting the four of us to eat dinner tonight at my parent's home."

"What time?"

"Are you sure you want to go? My brothers will be there, and I'm sure they and my father will end up treating you like you are scum."

"But I am scum, my dear." he said with a smirk.

I kissed his cheek, "No, you're not. Not to me. My family will just need some time to adjust."

"So what time?"

"Be ready by five."

At ten to five, Spencer found me in the baby's nursery, dressing him. He was wearing a light blue collared shirt and dark grey trousers. He looked casual and handsome. I was just wearing a simple yellow cotton dress. I did have nicer clothes, but this was just dinner with family, and I didn't want to show up flaunting the fact I have money.

"You look lovely." he said, coming up behind me, and placing a simple and gentle kiss on my neck.

"You don't look half bad yourself." I turned my head, and leaned in to give him a kiss on the lips, when AJ burst into the room, wearing brown pants, and a white shirt that was inside out.

"I dresseded myself." he said proudly.

"That you did. I'm so proud." I walked over to him, and fixed his shirt. "There, you look smart."

"Like his old man." Spencer added, smiling.

I returned the smile, and turned back to my son. "Now go get your coat."

Once he left the room, I turned to Spencer and gave him a peck on the lips. He had another idea, and pulled me in for a more passionate, longer kiss. When we broke apart, I lifted Joseph from his crib, and held him against my hip.

We got into Spencer's car, with me holding AJ next to me, and Joseph on my lap.

My parent's house was just down the road, really. It only took ten minutes of driving to arrive. Spencer parked, then came around to help me with the children. He helped AJ out, and let him stand beside him, then took Joseph from my hands, and gave me his arm to help me out of the car. I then took my youngest from him, and he picked up AJ, as we walked nervously to the front door.

I quietly opened the wooden front door, and we all walked in carefully. Spencer put AJ down, and turned to me, "They'll know we're here eventually, Mer."

Then suddenly two pairs of arms grabbed onto Spencer's shoulders and dragged him from the room. It was my brothers George and Edgar. "Oh hey guys… Haven't seen you since the wedding, George. How've you been?" Spencer said nervously, as they pulled him into the other room.

"George! Edgar!" I yelled furiously. I couldn't believe those two. "Get your hands off him this instant!" I followed, until I was blocked by my nieces and nephew.

"Hello dearies. Please move." I said as politely as possible.

"But daddy and Uncle George told Joanna, Dylan, and I we're supposed to keep you from following them." Louisa said innocently.

I bent down to their level. "Listen, do you love your aunt Meredith?" they all nodded. "Then instead of doing this, how about you all go find your fathers and not leave their sides until I say so?" I figured this way Edgar and George couldn't do much to Spencer with children around.

Louisa and Joanna smiled and ran off, with AJ trying to catch up. Dylan, who was thirteen, was too old for this type of nonsense. I placed a hand on his shoulder and led him into the next room with me. Then we all entered my father's sort of den, where he would normally keep his important things and go to escape my mother when she became too much to handle.

Spencer was sitting in the corner in a large, leather armchair, appearing a tad nervous as my brothers towered over him.

"George Rhys and Edgar Owen Lowe! What on Earth do you think you are doing to him?" They both looked at me, appearing very afraid seeing as I used their full names. They knew I meant business. "The two of you are entirely insufferable!"

"Merry, we just wanted to offer the boy a drink." George explained.

"You two idiots would likely poison him, hence why I'm here to rescue him." I walked over to Spencer.

Joanna and Louisa had listened to me, holding onto their father's legs and not letting go. Dylan, being a good boy and listening to his favorite aunt, began to talk his father's ear off. My brothers were obviously getting annoyed, as they kept telling their children to go away and bother their granddad instead.

I grabbed Spencer's arm and pulled him to his feet. We left the room, with AJ following behind.

"Thank you." he said sincerely.

"You're welcome. I should have known those two would be immature. Honestly, two grown men with families acting that way. What kind of examples are they setting for their children. They're rude and-"

"Mer, stop. It's alright. If I can handle you, I'm sure I can handle your brothers."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that you're fiery and passionate, and somebody I don't wish to upset ever again. I'd rather face all of your brothers than face you when you're angry."

"Then don't make me angry. Or you'll have to face me, and all my brothers."

We entered the dining room, where my parents were seated with my sisters-in-law, Kendra and Enid.

"Meredith, dear." My mother said, reaching out her arms. I walked over and hugged her, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

I kissed my father's cheek too, "Good to see you, Papa."

"You as well, _cariad_."

They saw Spencer behind me, and my father was about to say something, when AJ ran towards him and hugged his shin. "_Taid_!" he said. Yes, I had taught my son to call my father 'grandfather' in Welsh. My father picked him up and rested him on his knee.

"Good to see you again, sir." Spencer said politely, extending his hand out to my father, who eyed it carefully, and then to my relief, he shook his hand.

"Mother, father." I looked at both of my parents who now had their attention on me. I shifted Joseph over to my other hip, "Spencer showed up a few days ago to see the boys, and we've been speaking. I believe we've settled our issues, and can possibly salvage our relationship for the boys."

"But-" my mother began to speak, but I shushed her.

"Meredith! Don't you dare interrupt your mother." my father said sternly. "Apologize."

"I'm sorry, mama." I lowered my eyes to the floor.

"Meredith, _fy merch, _after all he has done to you, you'd take him back?" my mother spoke in her usual soft, rhythmic tone. Her words flowed like music.

I was about to respond, when Spencer cut me off. "Mrs. Lowe, I would do anything for you and your husband and your whole family to trust me again. I gave up my business and my home just to come here and earn my family back. I would like to really become a part of your family, if you'd let me. Back home all I have is my mother. Please, give me a chance."

"You have another chance to prove yourself, boy. But if you ever hurt my baby girl again, you'll be facing the end of my shotgun." my father looked him straight in the eye, and I swear I hear Spencer gulp nervously.

"Papa! That's terrible."

"It's the price a man will have to pay for hurting my daughter again." he said to me, then turned back to Spencer, "We clear?"

"Yes, sir." he replied with more confidence than I would have guessed.

"Good. Now sit. Would you like a drink?"

Spencer appeared surprised by my father's change in attitude. "Su-sure." he stuttered.

My father grabbed the whiskey bottle from the center of the table and poured a glass for Spencer, handing it to him, which he took with somewhat shaky hands, and drank in two large gulps.

I poured myself a glass as well. If I was going to make it through this night, I'd need all the help I could get.

Soon enough, we all sat around the table. My father at the head, my mother beside him on one side, and George on his other side. Beside George was Enid, and Dylan. Then Joanna, Louisa, Kendra, Edgar, myself, with AJ on my lap, and Spencer with Joseph on his. As we ate we discussed how my grandmother, Bronwen Lowe was, seeing as she hasn't been feeling too well lately, and about how we haven't heard much from Arthur ever since his second daughter, Lydia, was born two years ago. We assumed he must just have his hands full. I was grateful my family had settled down enough to not insult Spencer during dinner. Although I knew it was all going too good to be true, when my brother George brought up something I didn't want brought up.

"So, Meredith, have you heard from Llewelyn lately? He was a very nice fellow."

I froze. Yes, I had gone on a few dates with a man from town months ago. I wasn't sure how Spencer would react.

"Who is Llewelyn?" Spencer asked, feeding Joseph a very small piece of carrot.

"Umm… Well, Spencer, a few months ago I went on a few dates with this man I met, named Llewelyn Dwayne. It wasn't anything too serious."

George laughed, "Mer, what do you mean it wasn't anything serious? He met the family more than Spencer did. We all really enjoyed his company." he glared at Spencer, obviously trying to tell him he was unwanted.

I looked over at Spencer, to see him looking emotionless.

"I need to get my sons to bed. I think I'll be leaving now. Goodnight all." I spoke quickly, standing up with AJ falling asleep on me. Spencer followed my lead, lifting a fussy Joseph into his arms and following me out.

"Spence?" I tried to get his attention once we were in his car, but he didn't respond.

Once inside the house again, we carried both of our now sleeping boys to their room and put them to bed.

I followed Spencer into the living room, calling his name to get his attention.

He finally turned to face me, "So you were involved with another man?"

"Spencer, it was a very short relationship. I didn't want to be alone. Can you honestly blame me for that?"

"Did you sleep with him?"

"No! How can you even ask me that? Rude…"

"I just needed to know."

"You mean to say you weren't involved with anybody during our separation?" I crossed my arms and awaited his answer.

"I honestly wasn't. for the past year I've only been focused on fixing you and me."

"Oh, I get it. You'd only start another relationship when you were actually married. I see…" I said sarcastically.

He appeared really hurt. "Meredith, you are mine! Since the first day I met you, I've known I've wanted you to be mine and only mine."

"I'm not a possession, Spence."

We both stood there quietly, and our minds were both working to digest each other's words. "The past is the past. If we both don't try to move on from it, it will poison out relationship forever."

"You're right…"

"Of course I am." I attempted a smile, and so did he.

He placed his hand to my jawbone, and pulled me in gently until my lips brushed against his.

Then we sat on the couch beside one another. My head was on his shoulder, and his arm was around my back, keeping me close to him. We fell asleep there, close to each other, and just enjoying being back together.

* * *

_Before you all kill me, I've been working on this one chapter for months. My ex-boyfriend had been giving me some trouble, and I fell into a pretty awful depression. Worse than before. I needed some time to get myself together. I worked on this little by little, and finally finished the chapter. I just finished it now and didn't double check it. So I'm hoping it is alright. I have decided this will not be the end. I have a few more ideas in my mind for it. So those of you who didn't want this to be it, you've gotten your wish. Haha. Ps. I looked up some welsh on google. Hope it's right. Taid means Grandfather, fy merch means my daughter, and cariad means love. Please review. I hope I haven't lost too many of you due to taking so long with this. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as possible. Thank you! -Kell._


	20. Chapter XX

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapter XX**_

I was sitting silently at my sister-in-law Enid's dining room table, staring at the floral pattern wallpaper.

"What are you going to do?" she asked me softly.

I turned my head suddenly to face her, "Well… I suppose this means I have to marry him again. Can't have another baby and not be married."

"When are you going to tell him?"

I placed my hand gently to my stomach, which was still unnoticeably swollen. "I'm not sure. I don't think I'm going to tell him yet. I need to get a few thoughts in order."

"Meredith, you're nearly two months already. How long can you expect to keep this from him?"

"Things are going well now. I don't know how he'll react. I mean, we can certainly afford another baby. But I'm not sure if our relationship is strong enough for it. We've only been back together since August. He's been living with us since then too, and it's like being a family finally. Although we still have our fights, but then we make up. Hence this." I patted my stomach.

"How long have you known?"

"About the baby? Nearly three weeks now." I heard Dylan trying to quiet down Joseph from the other room. I'd left the fourteen year old in charge of his cousins, who had been napping. Now AJ began to cry too due to his brother's upset state. Enid stood up with me to go into the sitting room, where Dylan was trying in vain to calm my two terrors.

I took Joseph in my arms and rocked him gently back and forth, humming softly to him until his red face stopped being scrunched up and he finished his ear-splitting cries. AJ was being tended to by Enid, and she calmed him down quickly, despite not caring for an infant in years.

"I already have two babies, how will I be able to care for a third?" I lamented, feeling a sudden burst of dread.

"Well, Mer, there is nothing you can do about it. You'll deal with it somehow. I'll help you out. I don't have to do much about Dylan anymore. He's going to be working soon anyway."

"Really? But the boy is only 14."

"That's the same age all of your other brothers were working at. Your father wants to get him an apprenticeship as a sailor. Like what happened with Harold."

"But let's hope he doesn't react like Harold did."

"Yea, that bleedin' dolt."

"He isn't a dolt. Just was a bit impulsive. He wanted to work for money, not as an apprentice."

"What's the big Titanic hero up to these days anyway?"

"He hasn't really written to me in a while. Last I heard he was on a different ship, sailing the Atlantic like he was before. Still plagued with nightmares though. As are most of us."

"Does he know Spencer is here?"

"I haven't told him. I want to tell him in person. So that will have to wait until next month. He said he'd be stopping home for the holidays.

"That's nice. We'll have a big family meal on Christmas. Just need to find a table that will seat George, Dylan, and I, you, Spencer, the boys, Edgar, Kendra, their girls, Harold, and your parents, and grandmother Bronwen. I would invite my father, but his health isn't that great and he really should be staying home to rest. Traveling even a few towns away could be a challenge for him."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Enid."

"It's fine. He's just been in a bad place ever since mam passed away."

"What about your sister?"

"Ceridwen is spending the holidays with her fiancé's family."

"She's getting married? How wonderful."

"More like foolish." she smirked.

"Well, nothing like fools in love, right? We've all been there." I smiled.

After spending a lovely afternoon with my sister-in-law, I brought the boys home so I could go to the store and buy food for the week. AJ wanted to come with me, but I shop much faster on my own, so he begrudgingly stayed home with his father.

Spencer didn't have much to do here in my town. He didn't have to work, but he considered finding a job anyway just to fill in his spare time. I was planning to join a woman's book club in town that Enid and Kendra had joined. But first I had to sort through a few things.

The next week passed quietly. Spencer still had no idea about my pregnancy. I was still very nervous about telling him. I had been nauseous, fatigued, and moody. Even Spencer was beginning to take notice.

I was sitting in an armchair, with my legs over the arm, and my head resting against the back. My eyes were closed, as I breathed slowly.

"Meredith?" I heard Spencer, who was leaning over the back of the chair slightly, "Are you alright?"

I opened my eyes. "Yes, I'm fine."

He came around the chair and kneeled beside me. "You look pale." he then placed the back of his hand to my forehead. "Hmm, you feel fine."

"Of course I do. I'm quite alright, just a bit tired."

"Have you been sleeping well?"

"Not really. Been kept up by nightmares, you see. But that's all. I'll be fine."

"Is it about the sinking?" he asked softly.

I nodded, even though I really hadn't had a nightmare about that in two weeks, but it was a good excuse for my tiredness and how odd I was acting.

"You know, you haven't really discussed it in awhile."

"What's to discuss?"

He got up and sat on the couch near me. "A lot. I mean, it was a tragedy, and it's still affecting you and I. If we're going to be together, shouldn't we be comfortable discussing it?"

"I suppose…"

We were both silent, thinking about how to possibly even begin this conversation.

"Would you like to share anything about your nightmare?"

I thought back to what my last nightmare entailed. "Those horrible, horrible cries for help."

"The most haunting thing I've ever heard. I still hear it every time I close my eyes."

I didn't respond. Now I could hear the shouts echoing in my ears again.

"When I was on that overturned boat and heard it, I kept thinking what if Adam or my father were out there, which they were, and even though I'd sent you up to the boats, I was scared to death thinking you could have been one of them. How could anyone not go back and save them?"

"My brother did."

"He was a bit late though."

I stood up, "Spencer, he did the best he could."

"I know, I'm just saying perhaps if he'd gone back even a little bit earlier, maybe my father or my brother or some other person could have been saved."

"Harold did what he could. I know you don't like him-"

"Last time I saw him he punched me out!"

"Because he was protecting me! If you've forgotten, you were being a right prat."

"I haven't forgotten, Meredith." he said through his teeth.

"Look at us. Fightin' again already. Let's just keep our thoughts of the sinking to ourselves from now on. It can only end badly." I said, and walked from the room. He didn't even attempt to call after me.

That night it was like nothing even happened. This was how our fights usually ended up. It would just magically be alright later on.

I had put the boys to bed after trying to get a very energetic AJ listen to me. I laid down beside Spencer, closed my eyes, and rolled onto my side, facing away from him. He didn't seem to like this, so he began to kiss my neck gently. "Spence, not tonight."

"Aw." he pressed his lips to my neck, and then my cheek, "But," he kissed my jaw, "Why?"

"I'm tired." I responded plainly. I rolled onto my back. I was feeling a bit of discomfort and just wanted to sleep.

"You can't possibly be too tired for me." he pouted slightly.

I placed a short kiss on his lips, and went to turn over again.

"Oh no you don't." he stopped me, and pressed his lips firmly to mine, and before I knew it, I was facing him, and we were glued together.

He pulled my lavender night gown over my head, and was about to toss it carelessly to the floor, when the shock of vivid red caught his eye. "Mer! You- You're bleeding!"

I jumped up, spouting off a series of curses, and ran into the bathroom. I shut the door behind me, and sat on the floor, pulling my legs to my chest. In my curled up position, I began to cry. There was blood pooling around me.

Spencer burst in, looking scared out of his mind. He kneeled down beside me. "Meredith." I didn't answer, "Meredith!"

I began to sob heavily.

"What happened? I'll take you to the hospital, come on."

"I don't need a hospital."

"You're bleeding."

"It's nothing. It's just a miscarriage…"

"You were pregnant?"

"Two months along. I was afraid to tell you."

"Two months? You've been carrying my child around for two months and didn't think to tell me?"

"Spencer, calm down!" I whined, with my voice cracking.

"Why were you afraid to tell me?" his voice, while sounding furious, was edged with worry.

"Our relationship was already precarious. I didn't know what this would do…"

"You know we would have found a way to deal with it. I'd love the baby, and I would have married you again in a heartbeat, and everything would have been fine. You should have told me. Did you just think it would go away?"

I sobbed, burying my face in my knees. "I'm sorry."

He held me, "It's fine." he kissed my head, and then stood up, moving to the bathtub. He turned the water on, and motioned for me to come over.

I stood up, and my knees felt weak, so he took my hand and helped. I sat in the tub, and allowed the warm water to soak away the blood and tears. Spencer found a towel, and cleaned the tiles, which now had a slight reddish tint to them. I'd have to scrub them later.

He got a small towel from the cupboard under the sink, and kneeled beside the tub, dipping the washcloth into the water and gently washing my skin.

I didn't speak, because I didn't know what to say.

"It's all going to be fine, Merry. I promise."

"It's crazy, you know…." I said, with a shaky voice.

"What's crazy?" he asked, as he washed my back.

I turned my head towards him, "I already begun to love the baby…"

"That isn't crazy at all. A baby lives inside of you, and it bonds with you for nine months prior to its birth. You spent two months caring for the child, so it is natural you loved it."

"I was hoping to have a girl. Since we had two boys already."

"A little girl would have been wonderful."

Spencer shut off the water and let it drain. I was now clean of the evidence of what I had just lost. I was about to get out, when Spencer stopped me, and turned the water back on, filling the tub slowly. He began to strip down, and slipped into the tub with me, maneuvering us so that he was behind me, and my back was against his chest as he held me close to him. It felt good to be held, especially after losing the baby.

"We could try again."

I turned my head, and looked at him, shocked.

"I didn't mean right now, Mer." he explained softly. "At the moment I just want you to feel safe and loved. I mean we could try in the near future. We could have the little girl you wanted."

I attempted a smile. "That would be nice. But I do think we should get remarried before trying for another child."

"I like that idea." he kissed the side of my head. "And don't think I'm mad. 'cause I'm not."

"Yes, you are. I can tell."

"No, I was just worried and a bit hurt."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"I've hurt you worse, so I deserve it. Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're alright."

I rested my head against his chest and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I allowed my body to sink back into his. Under the bathwater, his fingers traced small circles on my stomach, and he pressed another kiss into my hair.

We decided to go to a justice of the peace the next week and get remarried. We didn't wish to make a big deal out of it, and just wanted it to be legitimate. The two of us even decided to still celebrate our anniversary as July fourth. The past year will just seem like a little bump in an otherwise loving marriage. We also decided to have a little honeymoon in England. I convinced him to go with me on a train to Liverpool because I really wanted to track down Emma's family. I had gotten an address for her a few months back, but hadn't a chance to travel there until now. Enid and George said they'd watch the boys one week and my parents would watch them the next. Spencer thought I could use a bit of a break from motherhood, and maybe he was right. After Liverpool we were heading to London to stay in a hotel, relax, and perhaps do some shopping. He also wanted to visit his uncle Dennison who lived in the city. He figured I needed a chance to relax and recover, and he was right. We left on a Wednesday morning, after I kissed my boys goodbye and left them with Enid and George. We boarded a train to Liverpool, and he allowed me to rest my head on his shoulder, as I watched the countryside until I fell asleep.

We arrived in Liverpool in the morning, and got a cab to take us to the Winfield residence, or at least what I hoped was still the Winfield residence.

Our vehicle pulled up to a street too narrow and crowded to drive down. The driver let us out and Spencer and I walked down the road. The streets were made of broken cobbles, and horses, vendors, and civilians clogged the way. Spencer and I, holding hands, made it through them all until we made it to row house number eighteen. The front door was a pale red that was chipping terribly. Spencer knocked on the door, until it was answered by a girl, slightly younger and shorter than me, with dirty blonde hair running down her back, and dirt stains on her cheeks. "May I 'elp you?" she asked, timidly.

"Is this the Winfield residence?"

"Y-yes."

"We're Spencer and Meredith Welch. Might we come in and speak with you?"

She nodded slowly, and stepped aside to let us in. The house was tiny inside, and the wallpaper was dingy and brown. She led us to the small sitting room, and smacked the cushions of the light blue couch harshly, beating the dust from it. She gestured for us to sit.

"I'm Priscilla Winfield. May I ask what this is about?"

"I made friends with a stewardess, Emma Winfield, on the RMS Titanic, and she told me about her family's situation. I thought I should visit her family for her. Perhaps explain anything about her last days I can to put your minds at ease."

"'Aven't been 'earin' much said about Emma in a while. We tried to stop bringin' 'er up. It 'urt too much to think about."

"I understand. If you don't wish to discuss her, we won't make you."

She wiped a tear from her eye. "No, no. It's alright. Emma was my older sister. She was also our last 'ope of keepin' our family together. But she died, mother died months later of her illness, but also of 'er poor broken 'eart. Our brothers, Frederick and Donald, went to live with my Uncle Alfred, Sadie, my younger sister went to live with my grandmother, but she passed away last year, leavin' Sadie to the orphanage in the middle of town. I'd get 'er if I could, but I've been left in charge of Alden, my youngest brother. 'e is three, and sleepin' right now. Cutest little thin'. I wouldn't even be able to care for 'im if it wasn't for my fiance, Craig."

"This was what Emma feared. She didn't want her family broken apart."

"Well, we're all taken care of at least. Better than we were before. I still miss Emma, Freddy, Don, and Sadie terribly."

"Sadie is in an orphanage, you say?"

"Yes, 'eart of the Cross Orphanage. She's only six. It kills me that she's stuck there." Priscilla wiped away a tear.

I looked down at my lap, thinking for a moment, before blurting out "We'll adopt her."

Spencer stared at me, looking incredulous.

"I mean… We'll consider adopting her."

"That would be wonderful. I'd love for her to have a family."

"We'll be back in a moment. Excuse us." Spencer said, grabbing my arm gently and leading me into the hall. "What were you thinking?"

"The poor girl needs a home, Spence."

"I know, and I'm not saying I'm against this. I just wanted you to talk with me about it before telling that girl you'd adopt her sister."

"Emma was my friend, and now she's dead because we lost her down in steerage."

"She was dragged away from us. There was nothing we could do."

"I can't stop feeling like it's my fault. I should have tried harder to get through the crowd to her. I should have been able to help her." At this point I felt like I was in the midst of an anxiety attack. I couldn't breathe well and I felt unreal. "And Clarissa and Adam, I was with them when they jumped off the ship. I waited and waited for them to resurface but they didn't. I should have done something to save them…"

Spencer grasped my shoulders, "Meredith, nothing you could have done would have changed their fates. It was a hectic time. You had to save yourself as well, and I'm so grateful you did. I'd love to have my brother back, but he's gone, and I've been able to accept that. I don't blame you, they don't blame you. You need to stop blaming yourself. Please."

"I'll try… Spencer, I feel like I owe it to Emma to do this… I'd love to be able to do this for her."

I suppose my slight pout convinced him, because he let out a sigh, "Alright, we'll go to the orphanage and inquire about the girl, and meet her. We'll give it a shot."

"Oh, Spencer!" I cried happily, throwing my arms around him tightly. I heard him let out a chuckle. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome, Mer."

I let go of him. "I'll show you how grateful I am when we return to the hotel later."

He smiled widely, "Oh really? How exactly?"

I turned to return to the sitting room, "You'll see."

We sat down on the couch opposite Priscilla, who was staring at a small photograph of Emma and dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. I only now noticed her eyes were the same chocolate brown of her sister's. This jolted my stomach slightly, as I felt for a moment as though I were back in my stateroom talking to the young blonde stewardess.

"Miss Winfield, we've decided we will go to that orphanage and honestly consider adopting your younger sister." Spencer said to her, holding my hand and smiling.

"Really? Oh, bless your 'earts, the both o' yeh. Sadie will finally 'ave a 'ome."

I'm not sure I'd ever felt so much pride. I was making sure Emma's last sibling to not have a home was adopted by two loving people, and I was giving that young girl a home finally.

Priscilla gave us directions to Heart of the Cross Orphanage, and we got a driver to bring us there the next day. I put on a simple white blouse and dark green skirt, and a dark grey coat, seeing as it was late November and very chilly. When we arrived at the light stone steps of the orphanage, the driver came around to my door, and gave me a hand out. Spencer took my arm and we entered a dimly lit hall.

"Hello there, I'm Deidre Caruthers. May I help you?" a short woman with black hair piled atop her head asked.

"I'm Spencer Welch, and this is my wife Meredith. We're interested in possibly adopting one of the children you have here."

She nodded and led us into her office. "So this is a specific child you're asking about?"

"Yes. Sadie Winfield." I replied.

Deidre opened her filing cabinet and pulled out a blue folder, opening it to read it allowed. "Sadie Victoria Winfield, born January 8th, 1908 to Joshua and Emily Winfield of number 18 Ash St., Liverpool. Arrived at Heart of the Cross Orphanage on June 19th, 1912 after her mother passed away."

"Yes, that is the child we were interested in meeting with. We just met with her older sister, Priscilla yesterday."

"I'll go and retrieve her. Wait right here." she told us, and left.

Spencer plopped into the seat beside me. "You're absolutely sure you want to do this?"

I placed my hand on his arm lovingly, "Yes, I am."

"Good." he smiled, "Because I am too."

Ms. Caruthers returned with Sadie, who had long straight blonde hair trailing down her back, light brown eyes, and was dressed in a dull blue dress. She didn't look at us, and instead kept her eyes to the floor, and her hands behind her back.

"Sadie, this is Mr. and Mrs. Welch. They are here to meet you. Can you say hello?"

She took a step forward and looked up at Spencer and I, then looked away quickly. "Hello."

"She's a bit shy. Most of the children here are." Ms. Caruthers explained.

"Hello Sadie." I said softly, holding out my hand toward the six-year-old. "Do you remember your sister Emma?"

"Emmy." she said softly to herself, and nodded.

"I was friends with her, before her passing."

"I miss Emmy. She and Prissy would sing to me."

I smiled. "I miss her too. I decided I would check on her family, and when I met with Priscilla she told me about you."

She nodded. I could tell she was very shy, just like her sister was when I first met her.

Spencer crouched down to be at her level. "Would you possibly like to come live with us? We have a house by the water, and two little boys of our own, and a big family."

"I even have nieces about your age who would love to meet you."

Sadie looked up at Ms. Caruthers, who gave her a reassuring smile, then she turned back to us. "Okay." she replied softly.

She sat in a chair in the corner while we filled out the paperwork.

Ms. Caruthers stamped the top paper 'Approved' and put everything into a folder. "You are now the legal guardians of Sadie Victoria Winfield." she handed us a small stack of documents. Spencer took them, and I kissed him on the cheek. "If you two wish to change her last name to your own you may fill out this top sheet and bring it to a court."

"Thank you, Ms. Caruthers."

"You are welcome, dears. Take good care of her." she smiled, as we stood up and approached the girl in the corner.

"Sadie, are you ready to come with us?"

She nodded and took each of our hands as we left the orphanage and went to the waiting cab. We put her in between us.

"We'll stay at the hotel tonight, then tomorrow head to London as planned. We can pick up some things for Sadie, visit my uncle, because I really wanted to surprise him. He was always my favorite."

And that was just what we did. We stayed overnight in a modest motel, and then went to a shop down the street to buy Sadie a new white nightgown, and two new dresses just to hold her over until we could buy more in London. She put on one that was grey, with pink vertical pinstripes, and a pink sash around the waist, and we boarded the train. She had stayed very quiet, and we couldn't get her to talk much. We hoped we'd be able to get Sadie to open up to us the more she was around us.

The train arrived in London, and we got off and went to the post office, where I wrote a quick letter to my mother about Sadie, telling her to let the others know.

"So where does your uncle Dennison live?" I asked Spencer.

"He lives about half a mile from here. We'll catch a cab and stop by. He'll be in for a surprise to see me." he smiled.

We got into a cab and it was a short trip to the house of Dennison Welch. Once at the front stoop of his large, four story row house on a very clean street, I held Sadie's hand, and Spencer knocked on the door.

An middle-aged gentleman answered, holding a light red-haired toddler with big green eyes. Before the man could say anything, somebody walked up behind him.

"It's time for Bethany's nap, Uncle Den-" he stopped once he saw us.

My jaw dropped open, and we all stood silently looking back and forth amongst each other.

Finally, Spencer found his voice. "Adam?"

* * *

_I am sorry if this chapter isn't very good, and it's not as long as I'd hoped, and it seems a bit random. I am hoping the next chapter will be better. I have it all in my mind. I left ya with a bit of a cliffhanger. lol. Adam? Whatttt? You'll just have to wait and see what this is all about. Please review. Let me know how awful this was. I can take it. Chapter 21 will be out soon. Thank you. And please forgive me. -Kell._


	21. Chapter XXI

_**Overprotective**_

_**Chapters XXI**_

"Perhaps you should come inside." Denny said, stepping aside for us to walk. He handed the toddler to Adam.

"What the hell is going on here?" Spencer demanded.

I placed my hand on his shoulder, "Calm down, honey."

"Calm down?" he turned to me. "How would you expect me to calm down?"

Adam spoke up, "Just let me explain."

"You had better."

"I'm going to go make some tea." Denny said, as an excuse to leave the room.

"What are you doing here, Spence?" Adam asked. His brown hair had gotten longer, and he had stubble, appearing to have not shaved in weeks. His eyes, which were once a bright green hazel, were now grey.

"I don't think you're really in a position to be asking that question. Why don't you tell me what you're doing here instead?" Spencer said with venom in his voice. Adam opened his mouth to respond, but Spencer cut him off, "You know you broke mom's heart, right? She was so torn up after the sinking. We all were."

Adam waited a few seconds before speaking, and my husband looked at him angrily and expectantly waiting for an answer. "How about we take this into the sitting room. We might as well discuss this like human beings. Besides, the tea should be ready soon."

"Tea would be lovely." I said meekly, earning a glare from Spencer, "Sorry." I muttered, and was quiet.

Adam led us down a large hall into a lavish sitting room. The walls were burgundy, with dark wooden floors, giving the room a dramatic feel. Seemed about right for the moment. He gestured for us to sit down. I told Sadie to sit next to me on the sofa. "What's going on, Mer-wy?" she asked innocently.

"Just a bit of a dilemma, dear. Nothing big."

Spencer sat in a chair near me, and Adam was right across from him in an overstuffed seat. "Who's daughter is this?" he said inquisitively, looking at Sadie.

"This is Sadie. We just adopted her in Liverpool a few days ago. She is the younger sister of a friend of mine who actually died in the sinking. I couldn't just leave the poor thing in an orphanage. Our two boys are home with my family, while Spencer and I were traveling around England a bit."

"Two sons…" he said with a smile, "Imagine if they turn out to be like us, eh, Spencer?"

Spencer just glared at him silently. Denny walked in with two cups of tea in his hands, and a butler behind him carried two more cups of tea, and a mug of hot chocolate for Sadie, which I was grateful for.

Adam laughed nervously, "What are their names? In the letters between mother and Uncle Denny she didn't explain."

"Adam James, who we call AJ. He will be two in March. And Joseph Matthew. He'll be a year in April." I explained.

"You named a son after me?"

"Of course. You were very important to Spencer. And we thought you were dead…"

The silence hung around us all, and the tension was thick.

"And who is this little darling?" I asked, smiling at the red-headed toddler on Adam's lap.

"This is Bethany. She's Clarissa's daughter."

I nearly dropped my teacup. "Clarissa is alive?"

"No, I'm afraid." Adam's eyes became moist with tears he was too proud to let fall, "She died two years ago."

We all stayed quiet, hoping he would explain further.

"You remember when she and I jumped off the side of the ship?"

I nodded, "Yes. I waited for you two to resurface but you never did."

"We swam underneath the water. I pulled her with me, hoping we could find a boat or something."

"I found a boat when I jumped and swam. You probably went in a different direction than me."

"Probably. We found some deckchairs in the water and began stacking two on top of each other, and then connecting them to create a raft. I helped her onto it, and pushed it as far out as I could to keep her away from the crowd. The ship was going down now, and the lights had gone out. So I wasn't able to see too well, as I tried putting together something for myself. I got a few suitcases and two deck chairs and managed to balance on top of that for awhile. I tried to keep Clarissa awake and talking after the ship went down, and until help could arrive for us." he shut his eyes for a few moments as he spoke, "The screams and moans were so horrible. People dying left and right." He took a moment to compose himself. "I don't know how long it took for help to reach us. A lifeboat arrived with a few men in it. They're rescued a man a few meters from us. I tried to call out to them but I found I had no voice. Clarissa was unconscious. I kept trying to wake her, but nothing worked. I waved my arms around, while still trying to balance on my makeshift raft, and minutes later they saw me in the glow of their flashlights.

"Once they came to me, I refused to be rescued unless they took Clarissa too. I was able to convince them, and they pulled her aboard. I then peeled off her coat and dress, leaving her under things on, and keeping her out of sight of the other men using a blanket, I chafed her limbs and wrapped her up in two blankets. Then I kept her close to me, holding onto her. I wouldn't accept her death. She opened her eyes just as the sun was beginning to rise and we were in sight of the Carpathia. I wanted to hoot and holler and cheer that she was alive, but instead I just stroked her still damp hair and told her to rest. When they lifted her up, they put her in a canvas sack due to her weak state. They brought her into a side door, and straight to the infirmary. We spent awhile there, and were then given a room to spend the rest of the trip so she could rest. The doctor personally visited us every few hours. Clarissa had gotten hypothermia. I had told the doctor our last name was Meade. We changed our names to Henry and Anna Meade."

"Mother's maiden name." I heard Spencer mutter.

"My brother saved you?" I asked, which my eyes open wide. Why wouldn't Harold have told me?

"Yes, he did. But before you get mad at him, he did recognize us, but I convinced him we weren't who he thought. It was dark and he only saw us close up in the flashlights. After that he was too busy to even pay us any mind. I'm sure if he knew, he would have told you."

I nodded and took a deep breath. The sick feeling of being betrayed went away.

Adam continued, "When we arrived in New York, we were some of the last to leave. I carried Clarissa off the ship, and bought a hotel room for us with money I'd stuffed into my pocket before we left the Titanic. We bought ship tickets to return to England on a Cunard ship two days later, then showed up on Denny's doorstep.

"Clarissa remained ill. She and I were going to get married, even though our new forged documents listed us as Mr. and Mrs. Henry Meade. We were going to have an actual wedding, once the baby was born. She was a bit self conscious about her weight gain from the pregnancy. We were basically married though. She was so ill, and I was always taking care of her. She had circles around her eyes and red eyelids, and she was always coughing. I didn't know what to do. She was so sick, and I couldn't help her. The doctors tried but nothing worked. Then…" his eyes began to tear, "When she had Bethany, she was too weak. They had to do a cesarean section, where they cut the baby out. She was too weak to give birth naturally. She named her Bethany Rosaline, after a doll she had as a child, and the middle name for her mother. She was so happy to have the baby. Then, that same December night," Adam looked down, " We lost her.."

I was nearly crying by now also.

"Why didn't you tell us you were alive?" Spencer asked.

"Mother didn't accept Clarissa. Society didn't. She wanted to be somebody new, so we decided this was the best plan."

"You've done some immature and insensitive shit in your life, Adam, but this really takes the cake. You just decided to break everybody's hearts because you had a little crush and thought you'd be all romantic and run away together? You didn't even care about all the people you were leaving behind?"

I could see my husband was fuming with anger. I wanted to somehow calm him down, but I didn't know how. I figured it was best to just let him get his words and feelings out.

"I did care, Spence. So instead of running away and making mother feel like I didn't want her in my life, I faked my death. Made you all think I died as the Adam you knew."

Spencer was about to retort, when Sadie yawned beside me. "Mer-wy, I'm a bit tired."

"Oh, I know, Sadie. It was a long train ride. Adam," I turned to him, "Is there a place she could lay down for a little while?"

Denny came over and took her hand gently, "I'll bring her to Adam's room. It's right down the hall. That way you'll hear her if she needs you."

"Thank you." I smiled, as he took her away.

"Why are you guys in London?" Adam asked.

"Well, I lost a pregnancy not too long ago, and we decided to get remarried and take a trip to England. We-"

"So you got pregnant before remarrying?" Adam pointed out with a smirk.

Spencer glared at him, and I just smiled, while surely turning a bright shade of red. "Yes, I did. But we were basically married anyway. We just hit a small bump in our relationship. Then we were able to pick up right where we left off. And besides, AJ was conceived before our first wedding anyway."

I could see Spencer's jaw drop that I'd actually just told his brother about that. I couldn't help but giggle at that.

"I can't wait to meet the boys someday. My two little nephews are bound to become trouble makers one day like Spence and I." Adam smiled proudly.

"Well, we'd best be going. We need to get to a hotel and find some dinner." Spencer said, standing up.

"Nonsense!" Denny said, reentering the room. "I haven't seen you in years, Spencer. And I have yet to properly meet your lovely wife. You'll stay here for the night. Do not argue with your Uncle Denny."

Spencer sighed and sat back down. "Fine, Denny. When do we eat?"

"In a few hours. You and your wife may have the guest room on the next floor. It's two doors to the left from the stairs."

Spencer nodded and grunted. "Thank you." I said, wishing to cancel out my husband's rudeness.

Spencer stood up, "I'll be in the library." and walked off down a hallway.

I went to follow, but Denny pulled me aside. "Mrs. Welch, lovely to meet you."

"Please, call me Meredith."

"Alright, Meredith. I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Dennison Welch. Your uncle-in-law. My brother was Vernon."

"He was a very nice man, even though I only knew him for a few days."

Bethany came running up to Denny, wheezing slightly. "Unkie!" her light red curls bouncing behind her.

He picked her up, "My girl! What's going on?"

"I hungry."

Denny barked out a laugh, "Go to the kitchen and tell Arielle you'd like some grapes, alright?"

She smiled and nodded, running off again, letting out a little wheeze. "She has asthma. One of the little side effects of Clarissa's illness during her pregnancy. Other than that, Bethany is pretty healthy."

"You seem really good with her."

"I've practically raised the little tyke. Her mum passed away, and Adam hasn't been too up to the challenge of being a father figure yet, so it has been like raising the girl on my own."

"Hasn't been up to the challenge? Why not?"

"He's been down in the dumps ever since Clarissa died. She was everything to him. When she died, a huge part of him died with her. So I've been Bethany's father figure really. She is a very sweet girl. Well behaved too, and giggly. She has the beauty of her mother, and I'm assuming the father had red hair."

"She's adorable. I can see the resemblance between Clarissa and her clearly."

"Yeah. Clarissa was really excited about having the baby. She fell into an awful depression for months up until her death, but one of the things keeping her spirits up was Bethany."

"This is like having to accept her death for a second time."

"It hit Adam very hard. He's still suffering horribly. I can't blame him. I watched the way he doted on her, sat by her sickbed, fed her soup, read to her, etcetera. He spent every moment he could with her. He loved her so much, and cared for her so much more than himself. I believe during that time, the stress of it all was making him sick mentally and physically. He stopped caring for himself. His world died with her."

"I wish there was something I could do."

"We've tried nearly everything. He's been in this depression of his for two whole years. There is nothing any of us can really do but let him heal himself."

I didn't know what to say.

"Well, I have some paperwork to finish up, so I'll see you at dinner. It should be ready in about two hours." he disappeared down the hallway.

I went into the bedroom, which had cream colored walls, and navy blue accents, along with a matching bedspread. I sat down on the sheets, and shook Sadie's shoulder gently. "Sadie… Sadie, are you hungry?"

She rolled over onto her side and nodded, still not opening her eyes.

"Come on, then. We're having supper here."

Her eyes fluttered open gently, and then she stretched and rose. She hopped off the bed, and went for the door. I was about to follow, when something shiny caught my eye.

Sadie stopped in the doorway, "Are you coming, Mer-wy?"

"Yes, dearie. I'll be there in a moment. Just go down the hall and to the left." She left, and I now turned to what had caught my eye. The closet door was halfway opened. I pushed it open more, and saw shining glass bottles everywhere. Kneeling down, I picked one up. It was an empty morphine bottle. Looking around, I realized they all were. There must have been about thirty there.

"Snooping, are we?" I heard a male voice say, and I froze.

Adam stepped into the room, and took the bottle from my hand, dropping it noisily back into the closet. He didn't look like Adam. His features appeared darker, and contorted with anger. "Didn't your parents ever tell you it isn't right for you to touch things that aren't yours?" he asked sickly.

"I'm sorry, Adam. It just caught my eye, and I-"

"Shut it." he said rudely, glaring at me, and then slamming his closet door shut.

"Adam, what is with all of this? Is there a problem? If so, we'll help you. We'll-" he grabbed my wrists and swung me around, throwing me against the wall harshly. I whimpered, and slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor.

"I do not have a problem, got it?" I nodded, "Now forget you ever saw any of this and get out." I locked eyes with him. Grey against blue. I was trying to see if I could find the old Adam reflected in there, but I could not. "Go!" he snarled.

I stood up, and ran from the bedroom, stopping in the sitting room, and throwing myself onto the couch to catch my breath. My shoulders and back hurt from hitting the wall, along with my wrist, which was red and aching. I approached the mirror over the mantel, and checked my appearance. I made myself look appropriate, and headed into the dining room for dinner.

I sat beside Spencer, who had Sadie on the other side of him, and Denny was at the head of the table, with Bethany's highchair.

Spencer looked at me curiously, "Are you alright? You look a bit off."

"I'm fine. Don't worry." I replied plainly, and gave him a fake smile. I then looked down at my plate, where my gaze stayed for the rest of the meal.

Denny held us in polite conversation for most of the evening, and Adam who had been previously in a brooding state was not animatedly joining in on the conversation as if nothing had happened. Even my husband seemed most at ease and accepting. He and Adam appeared once again to be the same two boys I had met on board the ship.

"So Spencer and I used to come and visit our Uncle Denny in the summertime. Dennison here had this pug, named Thurston. Now, this dog was one of the ugliest sons of bitches ever. His face looked like it had been smashed in with a frying pan. Spence and I were about four and seven years old, and we decided to play a little game with Thurston. We put him in a sack and hung it on the clothes line out behind the kitchen. The dog squirmed and yelped. We kept moving the sack across the entire clothing line. Poor Thurston was traumatized by the time the maid came out and yelled at us to let him down." Adam was snickering.

"And then you blamed the whole thing on me." Spencer commented, playfully smacking his brother in the back of the head.

"My poor dog." Denny lamented unenthusiastically. "Evil little bugger, he was."

I couldn't help but grin at their reminiscing.

"Excuse me. It's about time I get Sadie to bed. Come along." I said to the young blonde, who rose and followed me up the stairs to a guest room decorated in pale green.

Sadie crawled into the large bed, and I tucked her in. "Mer-wy?" she asked softly.

"Yes?" I sat beside her.

"Am I going to stay with you and Spencer forever?"

"I believe so. We adopted you. That means we're going to take care of you. Is that alright with you?"

"Yeah. But I do miss my friends. I'd rather have a family though."

"You're going to have a wonderful family, Sadie. I have two little boys at home, and a pet cat. She wanders around outside a lot, but will usually show up at night for some food, and sleep in a cupboard. I also have nieces and nephews nearby that I'm sure will be good friends of yours soon enough. My two nieces are around your age, and I have a nephew who is a bit older than you, but I'm sure you'll like him too. My parents are very nice, and my brothers, and their wives. You're entering a very loving family."

"Family…" she said dreamily with a grin on her face.

"You'll have a lot of people to count on and to play with. We're even going to put you in the local school. You can meet some new friends and learn new things. How's that sound?"

"I never been to school before. They taught us a bit in the orphanage, mostly 'bout how to behave ourselves so's we'd get adopted. They had us clean a lot. Told us if we're good at chores, more people would want to bring us home."

"Well, at our home, we just want you to be happy, healthy, and listen to us, which I'm sure you will."

Sadie nodded enthusiastically with a big grin on her face.

"Now you can have some lovely dreams about all of that, alright?"

She nodded again, turning onto her side. "Night, Mer-wy."

I sat up and went to shut off the lamp in the corner. "Goodnight, Sadie, dear."

I walked into the other guest room, and was suddenly lifted off my feet and spun around. When my feet hit the floor again, I felt Spencer's lips against my own. "Meredith, this is wonderful. My brother is alive. I've gotten him back!" he said happily.

"I'm happy for you."

He twirled me around and sat me down on the bed. He sat beside me, wrapped his hands around my waist and kissed me again.

"Can we celebrate?" he asked while kissing my neck.

I let out a small laugh, "Here? In your uncle's home? What if they hear us?"

"They won't. It's a big house." he started pulling at my dress, trying to get my sleeves off after he unbuttoned the back. Suddenly, his hand reached my wrist, and I let out a small hiss. He looked at me curiously, and lifted my sleeve a bit, revealing five purple bruises, each a reminder of Adam's grip.

"What is this?"

"I fell."

"Bullshit, Meredith. These are finger prints. Who did this to you?"

"Nobody, just drop it." I said, "Good night." I moved away from him, and laid down, turning onto my side away from him.

"Oh my God! And your back is bruised too!" he roughly rolled me over, making me hiss in pain again. "Tell me, who did this?"

"Adam." I answered. I could see he was fuming mad. "But please, don't be mad at him. He's upset. He had a reason."

"Which was what? What reason could there be for my brother to hurt my wife?" "He has a problem, Spence. I discovered empty morphine bottles in his room. Lots of them. He has an addiction. This is how he's been trying to deal with Clarissa's death, and this is why Denny has been the one basically raising Bethany."

"That can't be."

I sat up beside him and put my hand on his shoulder, "I didn't want to tell you because you seemed to happy to have him back."

"His actions are inexcusable." Spencer stated, more to himself than to me.

"Please, don't do anything rash. Let's just go to bed, and we'll discuss it more in the morning when our minds are clearer."

He grunted, and laid down under the sheets with me. We didn't speak anything, but just fell asleep.

In the morning, a noise randomly woke me up. I sat up and noticed Spencer was not beside me. I heard the odd noise again, this time recognizing it as a door being slammed.

I hopped out of bed, wrapping my pale yellow silk robe around me over my white nightgown. Out in the hall I saw Sadie poking her head out of the door two down from mine. "What's going on, Mer-wy?"

"Nothing. Just go back in the room." I said, watching her disappear from the doorway.

"Adam Henry Welch!" I heard my husband's voice boom.

I went down the stairs, and saw Adam cross my path. "Help!" he yelled, looking scared. Behind him was my husband, eyes set to kill.

"Spencer! What are you doing?" I yelled, hurrying to grab his arm.

"Meredith, get out of the way. I'm dealing with him."

I stood in between them, "No. You will stop this right now and talk it out. Like men, for God's sake."

"You are not to ever touch my wife again!"

"I didn't mean to. It was an accident!" "An accident? You lying shit." Spencer rushed toward him, but I stopped him.

"This isn't talking like men."

"Well if only one of us is a man, we don't have the ability to. I am a man, and he is an immature bastard."

"Immature?" Adam spat.

"Yes. Using morphine to get over your problems instead of trying to solve them. You're a coward."

"This coming from the man who treated his wife like dirt, and cheated on her. Then let her get away. Then somehow got her to take his pathetic ass back. And you call me the immature one? You're the coward."

Spencer rushed at him again, this time getting past me and punching his brother right in the gut. Adam doubled over in pain. "Spencer!" I yelled.

"I was much happier when you were dead." my husband said bitterly.

Adam looked up at him with hurt eyes.

"He didn't mean that." I said to him.

"No, I really did." he answered.

"Spencer!" I hissed, "Come on." I let out a nervous laugh, "I'm sure you didn't really mean it, Spence. You couldn't."

"Yeah, he did. He meant it with all his heart. So how about you go back to thinking I'm dead." Adam snapped.

"Maybe I will." my husband retorted, "Meredith, get your stuff and Sadie. We're going."

I didn't even get to reply when Spencer rushed up the stairs. I turned toward Adam and looked at him apologetically, mouthing 'I'm sorry', before running upstairs as well.

"What is wrong with you?" I yelled at Spencer once I reached the guest room.

"You should be proud of me. I wasn't going to just let him get away with hurting you."

"But I told you to not make a big deal of it, and what did you do? You made a big deal out of it. I can't believe you sometimes. You're always letting your anger get the best of you."

"Just shut it and pack." he growled.

I walked toward the doorway. "We're never going to discuss this, are we?"

"We'll talk about it when I say we will." he forcefully shoved a messily folded shirt into his trunk.

I rolled my eyes and left, going to Sadie's room. "We're going home." I told her softly, grabbing the small suitcase next to her bed.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Just Spencer and his brother aren't getting along too well. We're going home and you'll get to meet everyone."

Sadie followed me out of the room, where we met Spencer in the hall holding both of our packed bags. We didn't say a word. I held Sadie's hand as we went down the stairs and met Denny.

"I see you're really leaving. You'll have to come visit again, alright?" Denny said, offering his hand to Spencer, which he took in a firm handshake.

Bethany came running up to us. "Bye bye." she said, waving with her tiny hand.

I bent down and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. "Goodbye, Bethany. You be a good girl, alright?"

She nodded and giggled as I ruffled her red curls slightly.

Adam did not appear at all. So we left, called a cab, and hopped onto a train to get back to Northern Wales. I was upset that things ended so badly between Spencer and Adam. There was just so much to digest from the past few days. At least now I'd be able to see my boys again. I had missed them terribly. I was now remarried to Spencer, had my two boys, and Sadie. A whole new family life to look forward to.

* * *

_I finally got this chapter done. I was going to add another whole scene but decided I will put it in the next chapter. The next chapter Harold comes for a visit and other things happen too. You'll have to wait and see. Please review. I will try to answer them. Usually I don't because I get busy, as you can see by how long it takes me to update sometimes, which I still apologize for. Thanks for reading. Chapter 22 will be up as soon as possible. Love, Kell. _


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